I started dating a very attractive woman who, in many ways, matches my dream girl, but there are some ....complications, and perhaps those are reflected in the astrology.  I've plugged our data into a couple of free basic synastry tools on the Web but they spit out generic descriptions of aspects ranging from "this is great", and "this is terrible".  I need to know exactly what is ruling the picture?  Our Suns and Venus trines, or a bunch of nasty squares from her Saturn and Mars both being in Leo?

our individual charts and synastrty wheel are attached

Any help and insights are appreciated

I don't think anyone comes to this board anymore.......

Her sun/venus conjunction are square your mars/Uranus conjunction is the main problem. Now Uranus always wants freedom,independence and individuality

Uranus mars conj is erratic energy expressions or bad temper, mars square sun/venus is great for sexual attraction and energy but Uranus square these two is a ball breaker.

Electric attraction characterizes this pairing. However, both will have to deal with an inability to truly count on one another over time. The Uranus person may resent any hint that the Venus person wants more of a commitment from, or structure in, the relationship. Affection may be inconstant, or the two may often be separated from one another at key moments. In order for this relationship to work, both parties need to expect the unexpected.
http://www.cafeastrology.com/synastry/venus_uranus_aspects.html

to read the rest just click on link.

When looking at a woman’s chart the type of man she would look for is her sun sign and mars traits, plus 7th house planets and house cusp ruler and where that ruler was deposited.
When looking at a mans chart for the type of woman he would look for is his venus and moon sign and then 7th house planets and house cusp ruler and where that ruler was deposited.

Although synastry is a valuable tool with astrology it cannot 'make things happen' even if you have the best synastry in the world unfortunately..

If you want to research more into synastry try here
http://cafeastrology.com/astrology_of_relationships.html
http://www.cafeastrology.com/synastry/interchartaspects.html
http://www.cafeastrology.com/synastry_house_overlays.html
http://www.astrology-numerology.com/synastry.html
http://www.astrology-numerology.com/synastry-houses.html
http://www.astrology-numerology.com/synastryaspects.html
http://www.cosmitec-astrological-compatibility-advice.com/astrology-marriage.html
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17513
http://www.astrotheme.com/synastry_advice.php

Your Saturn square her mars creates stop/go situations and frustrations. Your moon in Sagg is 4’ conj her Neptune and this creates emotional confusion, disillusionment. Your sun/mercury conj is conj her N Node (which is great) because there is some Lesson, karma involved where you are supposed to learn to Lesson together or teach each other something. Your N Node is conjunct her Ascendant, again which is good and again reinforces the idea that this is an important relationship

She has Neptune conj MC – which can create identity crises espec in teenage years.

In early adult life it is likely that you struggle to find ways to express your imagination, fantasies, and ideals in your career. Work that involves compassionate service (such as medicine or the ministry) may be your calling. If you lack personal integrity and honesty, you quickly go to the opposite extreme and you can con others through dishonesty and trickery. Music, art, film-making or entertainment are also areas in which you are well-suited
http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/neptuneinhouses.html

Sun square Pluto shows a problem relating to father and men coming from childhood

People born under a challenging aspect between the Sun and Pluto are prone to inner tension and negative, self-destructive behavior. When things are going well, they suffer from fears that something will come along to change that. Their thought patterns can be negative, and if not kept in check, they can seriously undermine their happiness. Constantly worrying that the rug will be pulled from under their feet can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sun-Pluto have tremendous power and strength--when they learn to accept and use that strength, instead of fear it, they are some of the most effective, insightful, helpful, and healing people around!
http://www.cafeastrology.com/natal/sunplutoaspects.html
to read the rest of the article click on link

Your chart shows a stellium planets in scorpio and a bucket chart with Saturn as the handle.
http://www.therealastrology.com/HTML/FAQS/AspectPatterns.html#Stellium
Bucket chart
http://www.myastrologybook.com/Bucket-planetary-pattern-astrology.htm
http://en.mimi.hu/astrology/bucket.html
http://www.skyscript.co.uk/aspects2.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natal_astrology#Aspect_patterns

You have calculated your chart using the default on astro.com of placidus and I use Equal House system and am a modern astrologer. Lots of people that come into Astrology get their free charts calculated at www.astro.com and the default ‘house system’ used is Placidus and think that’s just the norm and all that there is……..BUT that is just the tip of the iceberg. You can change the default on astro.com in Extended Chart selection to Equal house and a few more.

Throughout the forums but mainly in natal astrology there are two main branches Placidus (unequal size houses) v Equal House (whereby each house is same size) but lots more……. For more information on these go here.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_(astrology)#Description
http://www.astrolozy.com/article19.asp
http://www.skyviewzone.com/birthinfoforms2/housesexplained.htm

It's only with study and research will you be able to assess where your planets are deposited and in which houses... thus see which 'glove fits'

Now in Equal house your venus, Neptune and moon are all in 12th house naturally ruled by Pisces, this suggests you don’t find it easy showing your affectionate nature, plus your venus is opposed by Saturn, again reinforcing a reserved, cautious approach and possibly feeling a bit unloved or uncherished from childhood.

For further research on 12th house planets/aspects try here
http://www.dkfoundation.co.uk/dkfoun...rmaHouse12.htm
http://www.astrology-numerology.com/inhouses-sun.html#Twelfth
Research threads on AW
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum...ght=12th+house
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum...ght=12th+house
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum...ght=12th+house
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum...ght=12th+house
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum...ght=12th+house