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Hey Donnyboy,

Is this the post which you lost?

site moderator

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Career and relationships are two sides of the same coin.  One is how you project yourself into the career, the other how you project yourself with your most intimate relationships.  The side of the coin is you alone.  

When someone tells me that they have a lifelong problem with something, there is usually only one place to look: at your Karma and what you've brought into this life from the past.  The area where you are going to have to concentrate most to find a balance is personal wealth and possessions with the partnerships and things that belong to others that you may share or have responsibility for.  There can be a tendency to belief that you are unsuccessful no matter how successful you are, or aren't.  It isn't about reality, but what you feel about it that's the issue.  For that reason, it's important to always be strictly honorable with your own finances and those of others, and to pay particular attention to reality, not what you fear inside.

The problems with communication are coming from Chiron, a comet that is in Gemini.  It is placed conjunct the Midheaven, which rules your public image with speech and communication.  It isn't that you are actually cold, but that you loath to show your feelings.  When they are never shown, others will believe that they aren't there...that you have none.  Loosen up a little, observe other people how they show their emotions in small doses, and begin to let some of your own emotions show.  The tendency for you is to show none, or too much...one extreme to the other.  Find a midpoint in how your express your emotions.  Stop relying on the "lone wolf" concept, because we both know that it's a smoke screen for you to hide behind so you don't have to face your discomfort and terror in being close to others.  You're going to have to take the risk sooner or later, so why not now?  Yes, you'll get hurt.  Everyone does.  Then we have to learn how to heal our pain, just like you will have to do.  

You have venus and Mars both conjunct the ascendant in Virgo.  This makes for a difficult combination.  As far as relationships, no one ever seems like they will live up to your ideals.  You're right.  You ideals are based upon a person who couldn't exist in reality.  Try being a little more realistic about your true needs and wants.  Balance the assertive nature of Mars with the softnest of Venus, the iron hand with a velvet glove.  Always be ready to be tender with your love, it will go far since the Mars will show first in your lovemaking.

You are very idealistic when it comes to the home you plan for.  And you're equally optimistic that you'll obtain it someday.  Yes, you will.

The bottom line here is that the problems that you imagine in yourself are nothing more than fears.  Yes, fears can be pretty scary stuff to deal with, but that's how you'll conquer the problems you are seeing that are repetitive in your life.  JUMP into life, dear friend, you'll find the water isn't all that cold, and I promise that you won't drown because you already know how to swim.