Maybe the study of suicide is the wrong way to go.

Suicide is the way of the coward, the one who have given up, the one that has gone so much into negativity that his/her life has no value left.

If we instead try to study for positivity, then many of our problems might lessen. You say you have pain, and if you just concentrate about this pain, then it will be hard to carry.

If you on the other hand try to move the problem away from yourself, to accept that many people live in a much harder situation then yourself, that lots of people have much more pain, that many live with a much greater handicap then you, but that many many of them manage to live a rich life.

The thought process might not remove your pain, but because you move your focus from yourself and to other, who manage, your self pity might lessen, your spirit might grow, and slowly your life might improve in a very pleasant way.

Our brain is our strongest tool.
Our brain can lift you, our brain can bury you, and this is spoken from one who almost did suicide because of this tools manipulation.

Look for the positive...and your day become brighter....enjoy the negative and you live in the night.

Just said to give you spirit....not to make you lesser....and good luck!!