Ok, this is complicated, and I am so ashamed.

I am a cancerian, and I have the most wonderful Leo man as my soul mate and husband - he does everything he can to make my life fulfilled. Just sometimes though, with real life and kids etc, we have our gripes and moans, although we rarely argue, just moan to each other.

The problem is, I work with someone who shares my husbands birthday, apart from being a year younger (and therefore the same age as me). They are so similar in mannerisms, humour and, anyone who knows a leo will understand, they have this magnetic energy. (My Venus is in Leo which doesnt help matters). We get on famously, as he does (as does my husband) with others (they get on brilliantly together too). He has a partner too (a scorpio), they have been together for about the same time my hubby and I have.

Now seriously, I have no wish for anything to happen with him - in all honesty he does have alot of characteristics I would not choose and thankfully my husband doesnt have them either. He does not know how I feel, and I dont want him to. But the times I work with him I'm happy just in his company and having a laugh (something often lacking at home). I dont get any sense that he feels anything for me - but you know Leo's they just give off that energy that makes you come back for more. There are times I have dreamed of him and I wake up feeling so confused - the energy in the dream is my husband but its his face.

I suppose I just want to understand why i feel like this - I have probably already got my answer by just writing this down. Any astrology-minded people out there who can shed light on this?

I think, being a cancerian (capricorn rising and aquarius moon, mercury in gemini, plus lots of aries dotted here and there), and having venus in leo, I have always been an incurable romantic - ever since I was a youngster I had an eye for the boys, always wanting to think my feelings towards others were returned. I didnt feel like this for the first 4 years of being with my husband, but there have been others I have thought about, although I never wanted anything to happen with anyone else, and nothing did. I suppose sometimes its a bit of mental escapism but that ends up with me feeling really guilty!

This though, the whole same-birthday thing is driving me up the wall!
Anyone able to shed light on any of this???
Thanks, Harmony

Okay I did have a simular experience reguarding Sun or Moon Taurus males.  Anyways, what I discovered that these feelings I had was a reflection of my own self.  Needs and wants that I admired that I wished to be reflected in my own life, by my own spirit. If that makes any sense.  I too felt bad. Why all these mixed feelings?  I felt soooo drawn to them, like a moth to the flame.  I realised that I was drawn to a deeper part of myself that I had locked up, who wished to come out.

Although they may share the same b-date, with the other factors such as location, time of birth, etc it can change certain things. Both may be Leo's but what is their moon sign, their venus,etc?  Could explain why you see the differance.  

Please do not feel ashamed, I did that for a long time too.  Confussed these feelings with what I thought was something else.  It was just a mirror of what my spirit wished and longed for.  You describe having dreams of him. With him being your husband in the dream but with his face. Perhaps you are wishing this with your own spouse.  You mentioned the laughter is not really happening at home.  Borring mondane life, rearing children, paying bills, stress...it can seem overwhelming.  Perhaps this Leo is showing you the time when you once felt this way with your husband.  So you can once again have that with your partner. In all the negativity that sometimes we have in our home life, due to stress.  This might be a blessing for you and your husband.  Stepping outside and being able to see all those things you once loved, the reason it made the one you picked the "one".  I'm just a hopeless romantic like that. sigh.

All those Taurus men had a little bit of him, but nothing was the whole thing.  That is what I learned from this.  So when I admired those other bulls, I was just longing for him.  Once I figured that out, the guilt left.  I was not straying, I was just missing my partner.  The way we used to be.  He has Taurus in him, although he is a Sun Pisces like me.  I was longing for that again.  To feel that excitement, the thrill, the connection.  So those Taurus males that came, well, they were just an answer to what I already had in my life.  Just waiting at home to be re-discovered.

Please do not beat yourself up about this.  There could be many reasons why you are having those feelings.  Best to sit down and try to talk to your husband about what you both want.  Do you need a date night?  I cannot find a sitter so we make a pot of coffee and sit up and watch a movie after the children go to bed, or go outside and start a fire.  Do you two like games?  Sometimes it is fun to play without the children(after they go to bed) and sit there and laugh at eachother.  We both love music and will sit there and watch Youtube together, and laugh at all those videos from the 80's. The ones we thought were oh so cool back in the day.  Helps bring back those feelings we had as teens, and we get to laughing because we are so happy to revisit those memories.  It is a breathe of fresh air after a long day of work and wrestling with the kiddos.  There is a reason you are missing the laughter, perhaps your husband is missing it too.  Best wishes to you both.  I have really rambled on with this post, but I do feel for you.  I do not wish for you to suffer anymore with guilt.  

Safe Journey

PS- Came back to add, I chuckled at your Venus in Leo. I am Venus in Aries. lol. And I have read about this, but not sure why they think all are like that.  That confusses me.  I'm just a beginner in the study of Astrology.  Take care.

Often the explanation will come by looking at composite charts: between you and your husband, and between you and your co-worker.  Non-astrologers (I mean those not seriously and professionally an astrologer) believe all the rah-rah that this "sun sign" goes well with that "sun sign" and that's that.  No, that isn't always accurate with a true comparison of charts.  

Often there is a sexual component and a uranus or neptune component in charts between two people in "an affair."  What they usually can't realize is that the relationship wouldn't last without it being "illicit."  In other words, if the two people had met when both were unmarried, they wouldn't ever have gotten together or be interested in each other.

Emotionally and psychologically, it's easy to be attracted to someone who represents the exciting and romantic without all the day to day problems.  Realize that if you were with this other person, you'd have the same day to day problems.  So, the path to resolving this is to look at yourself and your marriage, and see what needs to be healed, repaired, and improved.  Whatever problems there are will simply reappear in the form of someone else if you have an affair, and add to problems in your personal life.  I'm just asking you to take a look at this with sober and serious eyes, and spend this time dealing with real problems at home, instead of in fantasies that will only cause everyone involved a lot of pain and disillusionment.

Cheers...

thank you both for helping me to see more clearly! I think I just got a bit too fascinated with the whole same-birthday thing - it really is uncanny to watch the similarities, and then I am so relieved when I see the differences and know I have the best out of the two!! It would never have come to an affair - far from it - in fact the other guy can get on my nerves from time to time when he is being a bit too loud and obnoxious - but then so can my husband occassionally! But seriously - my husband means the world to me, I was just getting a bit too concerned that the 'pull' from the other guy was getting a bit too much. That said, I will be organising a bit more 'him and me' time for me and hubby xxx

Having an (non-professional) interest in astrology as a spiritual tool (not horoscopes, but to learn more about myself and others) is fascinating so to come across this weird scenario got me even more interested in it all. That said, what you say, Youda about what is present in charts of those having affairs is interesting - I am a firm believer that astrology tells us so much about the world and ourselves, if only people were a bit more open minded to its possibilities! (I also love palmistry as well)
thanks
xxxxxxxxxx

Well all I can say is boy do I relate! But mine is with someone of my own Sun sign, Gemini. There is so much chemistry
it hurts!!  I have had a look at our synestry chart and not being an expert, have not been able to figure out much from it,
but I did find out that having his south node conjunct my sun and venus could certainly lean toward a strong past life
relationship. I know we feel very drawn to each other, and we are from completely differant worlds in many ways.
But my gosh the attraction cannot be ignored, so I get ya!
Donna