Well I do feel that certain events are meant in our lives, but I tend to think they are positive events, that nothing needs to be seen negatively, as a result those family memebers I had who always worried about what might happen tended to have things go wrong, where as in my life no matter what seemed to go wrong, for many years turned out ok.

Example needed to find new apartment found the perfect place, on the way to leave deposit with the owner, his wife rented it to someone else, but 3 days later we got a cheaper, better apartment, in a better area.

As for what you mentioned in Astrology, well I do think that charts are more of a guide, might give possible influences, like so many freak about Mercury in retrograde, such as how it can mess up communicaitons, but I see it as a time to remember that it is important to try to think before I speak or send messages, etc, and not just something to be remembered during Mercury in Retrograde but it is a time to get in the habit of doing it so I can try to do so all the time.

I see our charts as a guide post we choose when to be born because there were lessons we wanted to learn, when you learn those lessons you can go way beyond what is in your chart, phrase it as outgrowing your chart  or going beyond it, or what ever way, it just seems to be that we are not locked into something just because it is in the chart, even the less positive personality traits I might have, that show up as being possible in my chart, doesn't mean I need to feed into those traits, being aware of them means I can grow way past them and I don't have to take them in.

So it is about me choosing my own Free Will deciding I wanted to learn these lessons, then I get to choose if I am going to grow and move on in a positive way, or wallow in what may be going "wrong"

Also much of what you wrote of how people's views reflect what may happen around them yes I do think that this is mostly true.

Some call it power of positive thinking, others call it manifestation, whether positive or negative, and others will use different terms,

Yet there have still be those who have been positive, remained positive, yet have had issues arise in their lives, that seem to not fit this whole concept, I haven't yet reached a place where I have decided [not enough information yet for me to say one way or the other or lol being to much of a Libra and debating an issue] but I haven't yet reached a place where I can completely dismiss that some things are meant to be.

For reasons we choose to have happen.

Look at instances of an infant, who is born with a dibilitating disease, or a case where due to an accident a one year old ends up becoming disabled, did that child have doubting thoughts that created that situation?

I have to feel that it is part of something that was created by their own free will but it was done prior to when they were born, I don't see how for example a child nearly dying and then being left in a wheel chair is an issue of where they as a physical human being created that when it happens say at age 14 months.

LOL though I also think it is an issue that most people will need to find out what is their own truth, some will find it, some will not, and others will accept the idea of a agree to disagree, others will try to force their views lol it is just part of the differences in people.

Let's say that in 1980, the person had a car accident.  It need not be major, but it damaged the car.  Well, we know from astrology, that accidents are often caused by Mars.  We have an approximate birth time already, so we know, by looking back, that this transit arrived on September 3, 1980, and this agrees with the accident information, and also with the transits.  Now, we use the moon, on that day, for timing.  The moon became exact, within less than 1 degree approaching orb,  with uranus (also usually involved in accidents) at 3:14 p.m.  BUT, the accident actually occurred at 3:28 p.m. and we know this because the person looked at her watch worrying to be late for an appointment!  So, now we have good evidence that the birth time is "off" by 14 minutes later than the recorded birth time.

Then, suppose the person got married on March 3, 1998.  We know by looking back at the transits for that day, according to the "wrong" birth time, that Jupiter trined Venus, and became exact (a common type of transit on a wedding day).  So we look at the moon.  The moon became exactly conjunct neptune (for example) at 12:16 p.m.  But, by all accounts, the ceremony began at exactly noon, and everyone is quite certain of this.  Now, we have evidence that the birth time is "off" by 16 minutes.  And, this evidence agrees with other events that suggest the birth time needs to be adjusted by around 15 minutes.

Then, we do this for a few more events in the person's life.  Eventually, with several such events, and discrepancies between when the actual event occurred and when it occurred according to the wrong birth time, then we can correct the birth time, or "reconstruct" the correct time of birth by an adjustment of 15 minutes later.

This may not sound like very much.  But 15 minutes can change moon signs, the ascendant, and the entire placement of all the houses!  This amount of time would cause all horary chart questions to be answered wrong!  This, by solar returns and progressions, would exponentially, each year that passed, be less and less accurate!  Also, after a few years of life, no lunar return would ever be accurate!  In this way, the entire astrological picture of that person could never be accurate until the birth time is corrected.

Some would say, how can this be done!?!  No one ever looks at their watch when things like this happens!  No one can give such detailed timing to assist an astrologer in correcting birth time!  But, the world works in strange ways.  Experience has shown me that people with significantly wrong birth times do just that!  They remember times!  They looked for times in the past, quite unknowingly, that later they would need that information!  It is almost as if by some intuitive sense they knew that they would need the timing later...when they needed an astrological reading..  As I said, it is strange, but happens frequently.

Thanks for explaining how life events can reconstruct a birth,

Yes I quite agree that a change of time can alter a chart even if it is less than an hour, look twins as a good example.

Oddly enough LOL I can give you someone else who doesn't know their exact birth time, who tended to know the time, this person always wore their watch, even slept with it on, rarely late for anything, oddly enough the one thing that they were not sure of was the age of one child,

LOL this person knew when her children were born, year, date etc, knew when her first passed away, but when it came to her youngest child, she often got the age wrong, that it to say if she gave the ages of her children and example the child was 10 at the time she would either say the child was 9, or 11, never did this with her other child but with the youngest she NEVER gave the right age was always off by one year in up or down. LOL And the birth time of that child was off, the child was either born at 43 or 48 minutes after the hour. LOL even odder still that child that she never got the age right on, was born a month late,

Odd when she was one of those whose exact birth time was not known for sure and did match what you were saying about always knowing the time of when things happened in her life.

Because of the amount of work involved, you can imagine!, reconstructing a birth time sounds like an enormous task!  Especially since transits are not so cooperative in happening at "exact" times (especially the moon) as I gave in the above examples.  Yet, the person always can tell me what I need to know, so it turns out to be a very fast process!  As you said, they are more than typically aware of time, and making a conscious effort to remember the times of things.  It's almost as if this particular behavior is a "clue" to the astrologer to check the time, or accuracy of the reading, because it's a good indication that the birth time is off if they are a person who does this.

I've seen another strange phenomenon with people whose birth times are wrong.  They tell me that they, for no apparent reason, glance at the clock, usually when their mind is on something else and have no real reason to check the time. But, they glance at the time, and the same time is on the clock when they do this, in a kinda unconscious way.  Every time, EVERY! time this happens, the clock is the same, for example, 5:45.  The numbers repeat.  It could be that they wake up and look at the clock.  5:45.  In the evening, they're watching TV, but suddenly look at the clock.  5:45.  Over and over and over, for years.  Not only times, but the sequence of numbers repeat in their life, such as they are randomly selected for a license plate renewal and the number on the new plate is 545.  Or the house they want to purchase, the number of the house is 545 or some combination of this number.  Because of the repetition, the person knows the number is significant, but has no clue why it's important!  Then, when a birth time is reconstructed...well, guess what the real birth time turns out to be?!?  5:45.  

i enjoyed your example above, too!  It's fun to hear about this stuff.  What do you suppose it means when the mother keeps calling one kid by the other kid's name?  LOL!  Did she get the wrong kid?

Will answer about the "destiny/free will" comments you make later.  I'm pushed for time today.