Hi there.


Ironical it is ,but i have joined this website in comparatively good times and with motive to learn,and today i am here.
Anyways , first things first.
my basics are

Gender - Male
DoB - 4th Jan, 1979
ToB -  2036 hrs.
Daylight saving not used.
Place-    27.88°N 78.08°E

In one line mmy question would be. i have suddenly lost hope in life, things have happened, all what ordinary indian would be very happy with is with me. But it doesnt matters to me.
I strive for " worth dying for" attitude devotion to both my personal and professional life, and both are in shambles according to my standards.

Compromise i have learned very well,but as life is unfolding it seems asking me to compromise and be fake in everything.i cannot do it, and i also find myself unable to do suicide.
so the result is that i am living each day since last 4 months at least as machine going though its routine.
Absorbing life's realities ,I have also understood that its not possible to hope much in professional life, but i am not ready to surrender my personal life ( read relationship or love or married life ).
From my limited knowledge ,i know i am running in period of "ketu".

To summarize ,
i have completely lost all directions in my path of desired life in professional and personal spheres. professional i had lost long ago, i was hanging on personal life,but it got shattered in period starting march this year.
I am like a person , who knows where it wants to go but the ways are blocked,ways which are open are where i dont want to go even if i have to die waiting, i  can't loose this last hope  in my personal life.life has taught me patience a lot and i see that it still continues to do it.
What do the future foresees for me, will the wait last all life or will my destiny be kind to shine on my personal life someday ?

I would be deeply thankful if any of the respected readers provide guidance on this issue.

Regards ,

Anu

Hi anu 141,

I can see that you are lucky to have a strong sense of optimism with you, having Jupiter in lagna.
Your lagna being in the last degree of Karkata, which attracts the question on your actual lagna.

In any case its in 'gandanta' degrees, which causes a tendency to attract mental turmoil.
Regarding Jupiter being in the junction point of 2 lagnas; it would be wise to take your bhava chart for judging houses;
Here the optimistic Jupiter changes to the 12th. house, in exaltation rasi; ensuring a contented later life certainly.

Let us now shift to the yogas in your chart. You have some strong, favorable yogas in your chart. And there could have been the talk of 'hamsa yoga' in your chart too, which is confusing.

So, there are plus and minuses in your chart.

Your ketu dasa started in 2006, during a year of hard structured work, similar to your basic nature.
End 2007 helped you to work upon some new things.

Around Sept 2008, your ketu dasa had given you a good/new environment to act upon, and hopes to make life better was there,
but in 2009, probably the later part, there were incidents which made it difficult to deal with your own emotions; difficult realizations, and cornered in some way. The period was Ketu mahadasa Rahu antardasa; making you understand yourself very closely.

Coming to the very present, Ketu sani in your kind of chart in terms of the 2011; JUST deal with the present, and do not start anything new activity, unless its very very short term.

2012 will make you feel better in your finances, and pursue new plans slowly for long term benefits.

Your life would be is easier if you welcome slow paced improvements. Romantic relations will only work if its based on practical lines, not just romance.

You will do well in carrying forward big projects in life, which would have the added asset of your charm & mental harmony, that you possess....... but remember that the projects should be Practical, but not Flighty.... This is IMPORTANT.



RishiRahul

Thanks Rishiraj  je for taking time to offer your suggestions.

Reading them i got a different feeling,perhaps my question was misunderstood,may be i used so many words ,trying not to open more secrets of personal life, yet able to share my disturbance. i think i failed.
so i would make one more attempt.

" all what ordinary indian would be very happy with is with me. But it doesnt matters to me.
I strive for " worth dying for" attitude devotion to both my personal and professional life, and both are in shambles according to my standards.

Compromise i have learned very well,but as life is unfolding it seems asking me to compromise and be fake in everything.i cannot do it, and i also find myself unable to do suicide. "

i would elaborate on above since those lines i said a lot.
i have learnt to hate money since it was never able to bring me happiness i sought,many times loved too , but now it is settled in a love hate relationship,i consider money like friction, too much and too less both are problematic for me.
i have been to gazetted govt job for quite long time,  resigned in search of more fulfilling life, roamed around with hope in private corporate , and then since 2011 begining , i am again thrown into govt job.
i hate corruption and ineffieciency like disease,and so you can imagine the kind of life i have to live if i am doing a govt job.
All said and done , i realize that earning money is necessity of life, so i am doing it.
Sense of optimism, yes it is true , i will hope until i die. I am dreamer too and i am the one who is able to put his everything on stake for sake of those dreams.So obviously not having love for money and things associated,it only leaves me 2 things.
Excellence in work.
excellence in personal life ( relationship,love,marriage or something like it)

excellence in work is almost impossible in job , because if any govt official excelled in his work , most often he is hurdle for others who are not, so the kind of life and effort is understandable , when kiran bedi finally resigned.
Where does it leaves me ? to search peace in personal relationship.and to be honest there is no personal life in my life.
With respect to your advice rishi rahul je, i would only say somethings cannot be changed, they are built in nature.

"You will do well in carrying forward big projects in life"  
i dont have any great plans or projects as such in my mind,if anything happens in its due course as result of 'work well done is its own reward' i wont mind it,but i dont have any plans as such to create professionally.

"Romantic relations will only work if its based on practical lines, not just romance. "

there is no practicality in romance, if it s so then i think somewhere it misses being called romance , i dont mean those kind of people who do the acts of violence or self voilence.
but yes  living in such a society , i know there is practicality when people see what you earn, what is your caste, religion, country, but i fail. i dont give up to it. so long its been i went to temple, not that i don't follow god,but i couldn't stand sight of people who will worship god with deep devotion in temple and seek blessings and in everyday life will be best example of greed,dishonesty,greed forsaking all what they think is sin when they enter temple to sing songs or prayers.

Sorry for such a long writing, i just wanted to put up my point.
and it was this that living 32 years of my life i have fairly well understood that i have a soul who cannot remain peaceful until it attains its dream excellence 'the best' stage in aspects of life.
The professional aspect of life , being spent around 9 years in different places, from state government to corporate to central government , i am sure that i have no hope, i better kill my creativity,honesty and earn the money for sufficient life , this is the only limit for which i consider i can be practical.
the other aspect which remains painfully broken but yet hopeful is the personal relationship aspect.

i dislike people who want to make relationships seeing my money, my job, my religion, my caste etc. and ironically i also dislike people who like to speak to me as a representative for their grown up child , to search scope of relationships ! i know i am really odd ,but every bit i say is truth. i have taken practical line in professional life, everyday i live a lie, i work less than my efficiency and i cheat with government money, its a burden, my half life is a lie,but yes necessary in order to live.If i take practical line in my personal life, i would be completely killing my  'self' where would be real me then.

To give a simple illustration, i have seen people asking , 'worried about marriage, when will it happen' if it were me , my romantic question would be , 'whether i will find a partner of my thoughts?'  for me it doesnt matter marriage happens of not, because i give utmost importance to someone who connects to me, not anyone who is ready to marry and thus make family for me to meet anyone who just agrees to marry would be more torture than what i have been in when i am not married,so i better choose stay 0 then becoming negative, but yes even being 0 hurts, i yearn to be positive with no compromises on man made rules.

Sadly that life (a dream of my own, which is not a fairy tale or movie romance type )hasn't yet started,what is the hope of it taking off  
given the fact that i am not at all practical in romance, and i have chosen to stick to my guns  ?

Thank you so much for your time rishirahul je , i deeply appreciate for reading my personal concerns.

And of course, you have not responded to the past timings I have mentioned. You do not have to, if what you have received is satisfactory.



RishiRahul

i m not sure if i understood what it means

"you have not responded to the past timings I have mentioned. ..  "

please clarify.


Anu