Dear Sir,

There are several possibilities but did you find out about his family ?
His family background is not very strong financially. His father has been involved in a number of court cases though nothing untoward has happened in regard to the law (they are mostly property related cases which have been filed by both him and his relatives against him). However, these cases have not involved either of his sons.

His elder brother is at a senior position in one of India's largest telecom companies. The elder brother's marriage has not been very happy as his wife didn't get along very well with his parents. They have shifted base to Indore with their daughter (it was a job transfer which came at a convenient time). I have been told by him that this was because of the bad influence of the elder brother's mother in law on her daughter. With the type of instances cited to me in regard to her behavior, I couldn't agree more.

However, the drawback here is that I have personally not seen anything and all I know of this is from him only. Usually I am quite receptive to anyone who is lying (my suspicious nature) so I dont worry about this too much. But still without seeing who can be sure.

Other than this I have met his parents once and they seem quite simple and to some extent, gullible.

If I were you, I would have low expectations both from marriage and career
I would not start another big project at this time

Until now I have faced lot of tough times in career. I have never gotten along with any boss of mine, except the once I currently have for the past 1 year. However, despite the tough time, something good has always turned up. There has always been light at the end of the tunnel. And my pay has alltogether always been above average.

I am planning to join a new job in January 2009. At first look it seems like a great opportunity. It is which an India-based telecom giant. The work is related to consumer research and sounds quite sophisticated (better than what I am doing right now).The pay is decent, better than average. The hours are quite comfortable. Also, its a BIG leap as far as opening more gates and avenues for career growth is converned since the company's brand is quite big and opportunities are many within.

This will be my 5th job in 4.5 yrs of work ex . I think with moon looking at 10th house, I have accepted the fact that I am set for frequent job changes. Its not that I am not satisfied with my current job. Its just that currently I am seeking to do something more with my potential. All my past job changes have been due to dissatisfaction and frustration, but not this one.

Do you feel that this job change will be bad for me. I am a very hard working person and quite determined.

Is there anything I can do to ensure success in my career? I currently fast on Tuesdays (both for Mars and Saturn); He also does the same for his Mars since I believe he is Mangalik.

I also wear a red coral and yellow pukhraaj in my right hand. I wear pearl beads around my neck. Most importantly, I try to keep my ego and anger under control in office and relatiponships (situations have taught me this).

Saade Sati Sep 2009

I might be looking at only one side of the coin here. However, saturn, though a malefic in my chart, is also placed in the 3rd house. This ought to protect me from much going wrong.

However, there are a number of things which affect which I might not know about so pls ignore this statement if you consider this wrong.

You say you are inclined to marry him but what are his thoughts

He has been inclined from the very beginning about our marriage. Right from the college days. I know he loves me a lot from how he has put up with my behavior. In the company in whcih we used to work together, due to my behavior, I have hurt people who were responsible for his career. Still he stood by me. I was wrong many times, but still he stood many times by me.

He spoke with his parents before I could conjure up the courage to speak with mine. It could be because they are more liberal than mine (though not too liberal being panjabi khatris).

He often talks of our togetherness. I have asked for his commitment to me even if I am not working and earning on my own. He says that if we have a fight he will be the first one to sort it out. A number of things he says. Though one can never say for sure about the future. these things make me believe that he is as much inclined as me for our marriage.

Finally, my last question. Do we have a relationship incompatibility whcih mught lead to divorce? I understand that we have Nadi dosh. Is this because of that. Can this be handled in any way? (prayer or change in behavior). Both of us are willing to do that for each other.

To be honest with you, you need to change yourself rather than him. If some problem crops up in marriage, it will be owing to your emotional nature and inflexibility in adapting to his practical outlook but for now, since you are saying you are willing to do anything and everything for him, then astrology takes a back seat. That being said, let me share some of my observations with you from my marriage counseling experience. Every couple is willing to die for each other during the romantic attraction phase but once the rubber of reality hits the road a year or couple down the line, they are desperate to move on. All I am trying to encourage is to place all the hard facts on the table and do a SWOT analysis for once keeping emotions aside. While emotional bonding is important for a relationship, emotions waver when reality starts sinking in.

About career, check out your D10, you have retrograde saturn in tenth house in D10 (read the thread on effects of retro Saturn in this forum), so I would manage my expectations rather than being just ambitious. I think you are doing great in your career and it must be your determination and perseverance. Saturn being the eighth lord in your chart, saade sati will not be pleasant. For libra rising, saturn is yogakarak and still it brings about painful changes with a lot of mental angst. Once again I reiterate, you are unable to envision the challenges and amount of compromise ahead. Already the case of elder brother raises red flags behind my ears and never ever make any judgment by hearing out only one party. If you hear out the daughter in law, she might have an entirely different version and you will be sitting there twiddling your thumbs as to who to believe. So check out the facts and don't give in to emotions, you are intrinsically an emotional person, your bf is not. I also have a hunch your bf will have a hard time finding a bride of your caliber in his caste/community, I would do some research on this as well. I have seen more cases and their fallouts than you did, so just believe me and please do your research.

Last but not the least, once married you will have two big big projects on your plate instead of one and no help from your family. If I were you, I would chart out a blueprint as to how I will manage both rather than be dreamily optimistic about the future only to blame everyone else and make their life miserable in the end.

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your viewpoint. Hopefully, over the years we can keep in touch so that I can share my experiences witn you and seek your educated guidance, especially to make me realize when I am faltering. I used to be quite a rigid and inflexile person who wanted only situations to adapt to her. However, in my experiences over the past 4-5 years, I have realised that one needs to make lots of compromises to get maximum benefit (read as happiness) out of life.

I still am quite rigid, though not as much as before. Maybe I have to do this in this life so that in the next life, I don't carry this burden.

Heres what I am going to do. I am going to marry this boy and take up the new job. I am going to give both my best shot. Rest I am going to leave to karma.  

Finally, I will trouble you a little more with my last question. Given that I will be marrying this boy sometime next year, I want to know about our children. When will I be able to have them. Their gender, health, fate (whatever can be seen from our charts).

I ask this as I have recently been having some geynecological problems which doctors are telling me is realted only to weight but I feel that something more is wrong. If possible, I would like to know if I will be able to bear healthy children after marriage with this man and when.

NOTE to SELF:

Destiny RULES, we all are nothing more than puppets in the hands of destiny. When we succeed (from a worldly point of view ) we call it our free will, when we fail, the western world go on anti depressants, the eastern world call it fate, destiny what have you.

Such is life.

I look forward to seeing you here again in a year or at max a couple. As I do so, I am reminded of the following.

Julius Caesar, ACT V, Scene 1.

CASSIUS
Now, most noble Brutus,
The gods to-day stand friendly, that we may,
Lovers in peace, lead on our days to age!
But since the affairs of men rest still incertain,
Let's reason with the worst that may befall.
If we do lose this battle, then is this
The very last time we shall speak together:
What are you then determined to do?

BRUTUS
Even by the rule of that philosophy
By which I did blame Cato for the death
Which he did give himself, I know not how,
But I do find it cowardly and vile,
For fear of what might fall, so to prevent
The time of life: arming myself with patience
To stay the providence of some high powers
That govern us below.

CASSIUS
Then, if we lose this battle,
You are contented to be led in triumph
Thorough the streets of Rome?

BRUTUS
No, Cassius, no: think not, thou noble Roman,
That ever Brutus will go bound to Rome;
He bears too great a mind. But this same day
Must end that work the ides of March begun;
And whether we shall meet again I know not.
Therefore our everlasting farewell take:
For ever, and for ever, farewell, Cassius!
If we do meet again, why, we shall smile;
If not, why then, this parting was well made.

CASSIUS
For ever, and for ever, farewell, Brutus!
If we do meet again, we'll smile indeed;
If not, 'tis true this parting was well made.

Dear Sir,

Destiny/Fate is only an excuse. Our Destiny/Fate is what we make of it. It is determined by our actions or Karma. However, its is counterintuitive. Maybe doing the Karma (more or less of it) is itself a part of destiny/fate. Noone knows. All I know is that destiny/fate is out of our control. Karma isnt. Hence, we need to take charge of what we can.

Maybe nothing can be changed. It is as it is. However, its is in human nature to strive for something better. If it rains, we carry an umbrella dont we? We dont just blame it all on fate/destiny and walk out without the umbrella praying for sunshine. Reaching out for the umbrella is karma. It is preparation for what will go wrong if we have prior knowledge (the visible rain).

Hence, a piece of the knowledge I seek from you. So that I can prepare myself. Any thoughts on our children. When can we have them, if at all. Their health, gender anything you can make out from our charts.

Kind Regards