I come from a background which does not believe in the very old-fashioned arranged marriage where the bride and bridegroom meet for the first time on their wedding day.

That being said, I have observed that Indians are constantly ridiculed in the west for having arranged marriages. This might be news to many but Jews, one of the most economically successful communities in the WORLD have had arranged marriages in their community forever, in fact I am aware of Jewish matchmakers who have been running their business for generations. More recently, matchmaking companies like selective search inc. etc. have sprung up in the west for the upper class clientele, so Indian customs are not that crazy and makes a lot of sense, I guess.  Please read on at the following link

http://specials.rediff.com/news/2008/jun/26sd1.htm


I kindly request the moderator not to delete this since this can serve as advice for those with relationship issues and allow them to seek intervention.

Just to give some thoughts, to your post.

Arranged marriages in itself are not so "bad", they have a function, and if both parts agree with the tradition, and put their will to make it function, then such a marriage might be as good as one who spring out from love, even better...because there is no "hormones" involved that cloud the brain

What we in the west are more against, is the "forced" marriage where those who are involved don't agree in the marriage itself.

This will then violate the human right for the person, and the marriage start of as something "cruel" and not from "love" or from "accepting of tradition".

There is a lot of western "marriage bureau", there is a lot of people who use it, but again...it is their free will to do so...because they see it as their way to find a life partner.

I am not familiar with the way the Jew make their marriages, they might be arranged....but again...if both parts agree on it...I think none will say anything against it...again because it happen in all societies,...but if it is against their will...then the case is again different...because it is against their "freedom to choose"

Thanks Rhutobello, appreciate your thoughts, just a comment, the "freedom" to do anything comes with its share of responsibilities, there's nothing called free lunch. I feel the freedom is being misused a lot these days and the new concept breaking ground is serial polygamy or serial monogamy , depends how you look at it, as the world becomes more prosperous.

Another article to illustrate what freedom and rights without its share of responsibilities can do. Please let me know your thoughts.

http://www.rediff.com/money/2008/jun/23mrv.htm

Yes....freedom comes with responsibilities.....and I for one will not say that every progress is a good progress..and I must also admit that we in the west has lost many values that the east still has..but we must have some values in the bottom of our system, because they are the building block for the rest, and Your "human Right" is one of the most important ones here.

Let me at once state that I haven't read both of those articles.....so I take everything from my own opinion.

What I think you are doing wrong is to look at the "Big Perspective" and use that as a reason for "Forced arranged marriages" will work. (we are not discussing marriages done by free will, either by love or understanding of tradition)

Since few in the western world have used this form of marriage for the masses for a long time, and they still have had a big growth and progress, those thoughts is in my opinion not valid.

When it comes to "Royal families" they was almost bound to marriage another "Royal Family" to strengthen the bond between countries.
We see this also crumble in the west, more and more of the "royal" families marriage "common people, without their thrones crumble, but maybe the bond to their people strengthen because they might see "A human Person" and not just an Icon.

When it comes to rich families, then arranged marriages is also used to strengthen the "power" to the family, but also here you will find persons who marriage persons far below their class because of love.

Now let us get down to us "common people".

Why shall we have arranged marriages?
Again it is used as a part to strengthen bond between families.
It might also be used to pay old debt, It might be used to get out of a hard economic crisis, it might be used for a lot of reasons, because the number is very high, and we all have different values, thoughts, view ....yea...you name it....one thing is for sure....it is not always for the best for the woman involved......and most of the time, they are those who suffer the most.

I have read that dowry is prohibit by law in India, but due to Tradition it still live, and especially in the lower classes.
What will such a thing do to a fathers mind when he shall chose a partner for her daughter?
I have read that many agree that none dowry shall be made...or just a little one....later the pressure on the new wife start, and many a wife have seen the burning oil in their face.

Now...let me at once state that we have gone true the same thing....we are not better then anyone else....we have a lot of dark moments too......but if we don't point out thing like this...if we only look for thing that can help "old tradition" to live, then we must stagnate because we live in the past with much of our mind.

Even the Pope have seen this, since he, last week, in public asked for forgiveness for all the injustice done against young boys, in name of the church.
Not exactly the same, but a Big step forward in a Tradition that has NO fault. (in their own mind)

I would have appreciated you reading the articles before talking about "progress". If you talk about progress in the materialistic sense, I absolutely agree that the western world with its razzmatazz and glamor is way better off but if it comes to spiritual progress, I am sorry to say I have not found many in the west, most in the west don't even understand the meaning of the word "sacrifice", leave alone spirituality, how can you if you have a "progressive" life with all your needs and desires fully met and asking for more. When one country controls 40% of the world's resources and perpetrates slavery even today in a very subtle refined way(please read Glen Beck's commentary on that) to  ensure the best for its citizens, it is easy to talk about freedom and freedom only without responsibilities.