Hi guys,
Its been awhile since I have been on but the last month or so have been crazy and emotionally draining. I have had the stress of my dad being sick for the past two years and the issue of son's father being arrested and convicted of a crime that he was sentenced 19 years for......
I am confused and I just dont know what to do for my son in  regards to taking him to see his father in prison. 19 years is a long time and his dad is not dead.....but I just dont know if going to take him will be a good or bad thing. I can see the pros and cons in both sides but I am stressed in the end b/c this can go in multiple paths and I feel the pressure b/c the decison I MAKE will affect my son for the rest of his life. I do plan on letting my son decide if he wants to visit his father in the future when he is old enough to undertand the situation and make that choice but right now he is not.....do I not take him until he is old enough to make that decision on his own and let him decide or do I take him and then let him decide wether he wants to continue going?
This is so hard for me I don't know what is the best decision for my son b/c personally I do not think prison is a place for a child to be in...this is not normal for me, but something better than nothing....I also dont want my child to resent me b/c I did or did not take him. ......ok i know this is long and never ending lol so i will stop there.

Hi Tauro.
wow I feel for you, seems like your up against a rock and a hard place..
However i do not believe this is a choice that the cards can make for you.

Tarot cards are not my first choice of tool, but to honer your request for a tarot reading on the matter I did draw a 3 card spread using a deck illustrated in a raider waite style.

we have the queen of wands, the three of wands , temperance and coincidently The knight of pentacles jumped the deck at the moment I was laying the temperance..
Just briefly The queen of wands represents you.. shes a woman with a responsibility, down to earth and actually typically rather creative..

It makes me wonder now why the options you are looking at here are only 2.

The 3 of wands is an indication of an opportunity being made available that will relieve the stress of the current situation.
this is somewhat supported with the appearance of Temperance suggesting that a measure of control can be restored with adaptability and imagination.

I believe the Knight of pentacles was shown here suggesting that practical business man of sorts may come into the picture here in the form of assistance..

this is all quite encouraging that a solution can be found..

Which brings me to what I wanted to say without drawing the cards..

This is something you need to discuss with the boys father and a social worker. Without knowing what is available within the system, you are limiting yourself to only do I take him to the jail or not.
I have known families that have done something similar by having a video mail exchange, ie dad made a video every second week, in some he would read a story book that the kids also got to read along with him.. other video diaries he made he just did fun and games things..

Depending on the jail also there may be facilities that accommodate children in visits. we have one here I saw when I was in western Australia that was just like a picnic area with children's play equipment, no intimidating jail paraphernalia visible. etc... naturally his was minimal security  


You also dont say if the 19 years is without parole,  ie is the chance of good behaviour time off, will they be offering day leave down the track ... perhaps he has an appeals opportunity ?

You need to speak to a social worker and explore the options properly.. You should also consider looking for a support group, maybe there is one on the Internet, where you can speak with other mothers who have been in this position.

 The cards cannot make this choice for you.. honestly..

You have to consider the boys dad, how is he with him... determine how he is each visit you have, maybe there will be a period of time he is not in the right mind to be a good father role model..

Without knowing your boys father its impossible for anyone to say really. I have met many a man that has made incredibly bad choices in the past, that I would not hesitate to encourage a parental bond, I have met others who have never been charged with a thing, i wouldn't want my dog to know.

This being new there will also be some time needed for readjusting.. I dont believe you have to make this choice right away..


Should you choose not to take him to the jail dont feel guilty for this. you are not taking the father away.. talk to your son about his daddy, show him pictures..etc..
Im not sure me, personally would like to take a two year old to see daddy in jail. mainly because coming away at the end of visiting hours will be a challenge,

But do talk to a social worker. does hubby have a case worker ?  talk to someone that knows.. ask about options, possibilities and the future..
Im sure there has to be one available to you....

Stop and breath have faith that the choice you make will be the right one..
His a hell of a hard choice, but I'm sorry this is one you have to make.
Being a parent is soooo hard I know..

again... please contact a social worker and explore support groups.

Hi Tauro...
Im just posting a follow up because Ive just stumbled upon this.
posted in July



You would be familiar with this reading from Eye of Tiger
In this reading request you seem to be in exactly the same frame of mind as you are now..
Then you were given some excellent advice..

eye_of_tiger wrote:

Insights coming out of a reading can and were never designed to replace professional advice given by a suitably qualified and properly trained medical doctor, marriage counsellor, child psychologist or lawyer, but only to complement such advice. A reading or reader does not have the ability or right to tell you what you should do in any particular situation, or how you should make what are with due respect your decisions alone to make. It is my considered opinion that the answers you are seeking will ultimately come from several different experts in their own special area of interest and professional competence.

I don't expect you to answer me, but ask yourself what you have done to be proactive to change the situation since then ?

have you spoken with a social worker ?, consulted any professional at all on this matter..

If not I really have to wonder what you think a reading can do for you.. Unless you are proactive nothing is going to improve..
Im sorry that's just a simple fact of life... Nobody can promise this will be an easy choice to make..  You are the best parent possible to your boy, not anyone else.. The only place you can received the appropriate information on what options are available to you is a professional..
When you have explored these options then be confident, that as the best parent, most suitable and compatible parent for your son, that the choice you come to is the right one.

Dear Tauro
You have been given some good advice and great insight by StormGirl there. It is a very sad situation and I understand that your first and foremost priority is your son - whether he sees or does not see his father.

I cannot add any more than what StormGirl has said.

Do seek social care and/or other type of advice.

All the best to you and plenty of blessings.