My name is Stacey.  DOB 9-21-87.  His DOB is 1-17-88.

Some background....
I want to be with this man.  We've known each other for almost 3 yrs.  Dated but things always go wrong so it's been on and off.  We once were at the point of shooting to make things work, trying to live together, and thoughts of marriage, but things keep going wrong.  Im in the military now and don't live in the same state as him.  He possibly has another love interest now but I'm not 100% sure.

I'm not sure what question to ask but generally I want to know if he wants a relationship with me.  What his attitude & thoughts are on that and if he may likely pursue a relationship with me.  Or if there is anything I can do to influence him to.  Where is our relationship likely headed?

I think you have answered your own question....use this man as a good friend....but don't think to marry, or make greater commitment then that.

When we are in real love, we endure a lot from our partner, we adjust..we please him/her, because love is that way.

From your post I think there is more "lust" then love, and a long relationship can't be built on such foundation.

If the partnership on this early stage produce quarrels, then it will only escalate as time pass by, and the relationship goes from new and exciting to average days struggle to keep life going.

A partnership must build on mutual understanding, and support....it must feel that you want to grow old with your partner...and you must feel that you can adjust to him, and he likewise, else the relationship will soon crumble.

I would for sure not recommend marriage, but if you still feel there is hope for you two, then a co-habitee pact is the best way to go....just be sure you don't burn all your bridges. (flat..economic responsibilities and so on)

Good luck.

It's definitely not lust based.  I know that for sure.  And I didn't answer my own question.  I don't know where he stands anymore.  He's quiet about his feelings.  So I don't know whether to let go or keep trying.  

All partnerships have ups n downs.  I can deal with that.  I'm just not sure how to help things get better because I don't really know what he wants.

This is the answer......you can't start building a lasting relationship if you after 3 "THREE" years have to make the above question.....only you can take the final decision...no Reading request can do it for you.

Once again I agree with Rhutobello here. I have seen such 'games' a lot in love relationships (if one can call them 'love') but if one cannot make a decision and I am assuming that he is of similar age as you are, then I do not believe he is ready to make that commitment. And, for you to sit and wait until he makes up his mind and you wondering what in the world is going on in his mind and heart, you will waste away waiting.........

The best way, if you want a black and white answer, is to confront him; ask him what he wants from you and from both of you, and if you - in your heart of hearts - do not get a satisfactory reply, move on! Move on and if he still wants you, let him come to you. But I know you will try to move on and in the back of your mind you will be waiting to see if he will make a move towards you. That is an unfortunate factor that most of us go through when we want someone badly. I'm afraid, if and when it comes to that, you will try your hardest not to have such anticipations and just live your life. Perhaps, in the meantime,  it would be best to forget love, and men for that matter, and just get on with your life.

You must live your life!

All the best to you.