Dear Cedars
Your readings are impressive, so I wondered if I could ask for one.
I have two queestions. Please answer the one about love if it is not possible to answer both:

- Will I have a long lasting romantic relationship in the near future (i.e next 6 months or so)

- I generally have quite bad lukc- i.e dismissive and unpleasant friends...and find that i unwittingly replace them with the same sort of person over and over again. In all honesty- I am feeling quite lonley and feeling like i struggle to keep busy/have a bustling social life. Can you feel this ever changing - and if so, will it be  in the near future?I have tried all I can in this area at this moment in time.

Thanks in advance

CoCo

I will give you a reading later this evening.

Oh, dear Coco,

Why does your story sound so familiar to one I know not too far from me?
I am no psychiatrist or a psychoanalyst as to why you end up attracting people of the same type of energy by way of friends or acquaintances.  I feel - and I have to bring in my sense of feeling here rather than any scientific explanation – that you are probably doing this either by the sheer need to fill your life with friends, for you may have been lonely as a child and whilst you may be resenting that state, you are still attracting the lower energy people to you and not the opposite. This has a tendency of becoming a psychology talk and I apologise and please discard it the minute you think it does not make sense to you. I feel, my dear Coco that you are indirectly finding yourself unworthy of the good or the higher energy people to surround yourself with and hence, without even realising it, you make contact with these sorts of people. This is not a reflection on you in any way or to suggest that you yourself have low energy as a person.

First of all, I would suggest that you go easy on the friend-finding crusade. Let those friends find you and you decide if they are worthy of you and the space they could occupy in your life. Never mind, this may take a longer period; never mind, this may make you feel lonely a bit longer than you wish for. But then again, what is the point of having negative people around you who would bring your energies down and hence not be the friends/acquaintances that you deserve to have.
I also feel the more desperate you are in making or finding friends, you will inadvertently (did I also say inevitably?) attract the wrong people.  

The next time you meet someone new and see the potential of a friendship:

• Don’t try too hard.
• Observe them and make some mental notes of their personality traits.
• I repeat: Do not try too hard – this is very important.
• Don’t be too giving at first – see if you also receive back – if not the same amount but at least a sense that giving and receiving is a two-way street. Try that with paying for drinks and/or meals or things of that nature. Then you can try it with more serious stuff.
The above are some of the basic advice points – if I may – that I would like to give you. Hope some of it works out for you.
The questions you have asked are a bit on the ‘conditional’ side and whilst they may be both related to one another – Friendships – Romance - I would like us to try and empower you to find some answers within yourself. Therefore, I will avoid giving an IF and a When type of a reading and will do a reading about Current Challenges and Future Outcomes type of reading. That is in fact the name of the spread I am going to use.
The question I asked: What are Coco’s current challenges and their outcomes with regard to romance and friendships?
I am using the Rider Waite Deck.
While I was shuffling the Ace of Wands flew out and I have put that aside.

1. Personal Challenge Right now. VII of Swords.
We see here a man running away from the scene of some sort of public event with five swords between his arms and two left behind. He is wondering if he should go and get the two swords which are left behind or make do with what he has. The picture is one of the runaway – and in the tarot circles this card is also known as the Thief card – but in your case we will look at this as the one who makes do with what he has and does not bother if what he leaves behind will be worth his trouble.  Whilst behind him there are scenes of fun and celebrations (or some kind of a street event) he prefers to leave them all behind and go on his own without losing any more than he already has.  I think you can call this situation as someone who wants to cut his losses and be alone for a while. This is a challenge for you right now and I wonder if it makes any sense.

2. Relationship Challenge Right now. III of Cups.
This is the card of social encounters, rejoicing with friends, parties and letting your hair down and fun and frolics. There are three maidens here who are raising their cups to enjoy each other’s company and be merry in a friendly atmosphere. I agree, this may be a challenge when you do not have many friends around you – but, I wonder, if the few that you have would not offer this chance of merriment and perhaps you are not being too sociable with them or not accepting invitations to go out and socialise?  Whilst the Swords suit stands for the element of Air and you running away from too much talk (air) surrounding you and joining the Cups – element of Water – which runs easily to fill in the gaps...possibly tells me that the relationship challenge for you would be to with the few friends that you have and to think about having fun rather than expect anything serious at first sight or at first encounter. Even if you do not have friends to socialise with, I feel the message of this card is to be merry and light with the next person or friend or  even a potential partner comes along, rather than perhaps designing your wedding dress?

3. What holds you back? The Sun.
This is a very positive card and yet it has fallen under some sort of a blockage position.  Let us see what this card stands for:  It is new birth, new friendships, new commitments, starting afresh, happiness and a cleansing of the old wounds, as the card depicts a naked child (fresh, clean and reborn) riding a horse in a garden with sunflowers in the background and the sun shining above him/her.  Are you perhaps too scared about giving yourself this rebirth? Are you perhaps scared to leave the past issues behind and embrace a new You? Are you perhaps lacking self confidence or faith in yourself? The promise of the Sun is there for you, but many things which the sun stands for are holding you back. Ask yourself why?

4. What motivates you? VIII of Cups.
Okay, we have another cup here which shows a man leaving a certain situation behind and looking ahead to new pastures and opportunities. The Eight cups he is leaving behind are not or were not working for him. They presented some sort of imbalance in his life and he is walking away from them.  Does this mean the new and the unknown motivate and challenge you? Is there a need in your life that is striving for a change and seeking for newer horizons? I still feel, as I mentioned in my opening lines, that there is something in your past that is an obstacle for you to move forward and thus meet and attract the right kind of people into your life and, indeed, the romance that you seek.

5. Where will you get support? II of Swords.
In this card we see a woman sitting on a stone, with the sea behind her, her eyes blindfolded and she is holding two swords upwards almost creating a sort of No-Go zone for herself. This is a state of being in a stalemate and not wishing or wondering whether she should come out and admit to herself what she already knows but is denying to herself.  The support, my dear CoCo that you seek is already there within you. You need to come out of and admit it to yourself and announce it to yourself and only then you will see the way forward.  Sitting with a blindfold and pretending that there is nothing to ‘see’ and understand will only keep you in this state of stalemate where you will not go forward.

6. What decisions you need to make based on these so far? Ten of Pentacles.
This is the card of affluence, wealth, family values, earthly and material comforts, tried and tested conventional values that we all aspire to for a happy life. You are now perhaps wondering if you should strive for wealth and affluence; material comfort; family and friends...  The picture in this card is one of a family, a wealthy father and his wife, the kids playing around while the two family dogs are part of this ever-so-traditional family picture. They have thrown in a grandfather figure too who is wearing the same robe as the King of Pentacles, adorned with red grapes.  My dear CoCo, should you go back to basics and adopt some family values or stick to your family and find comfort in the family institution? Have you perhaps been detached from your family and all things earthly that would give you a sense of belonging, not to mention security?  What does this card say to you?

7. The Outcome. Five of Wands and also the Ace of Wands which flew off at the start.
We have two cards from the element of fire as the outcome of this reading. There is some adjustment and some form of struggle ahead of you to bring about the changes that you wish in your life. This is not a huge fight against the odds; it could be a constructive argument with certain energies surrounding you which, if used in the right spirit, could lead to a happy and constructive outcome. The so-called fight is not a life-threatening or some form of bloodshed; it is, for all intents and purposes, battle of wills and opinions that you perhaps would need to put forward in order to get your side of the argument heard. The Ace of Wands stands for new beginnings in the area of a new passion, a new prospect or a job or a project or even an idea that you get drawn. This is something that usually comes from the divine or the Universe and it is up to you whether you want to take it further or not. This reading ends, once again, with two cards which represent the element of Fire, passion and creativity.

These are the messages brought forward to the questions asked, CoCo and I do hope they meant more to you than me  - the reader.
I would like to hear from you and your feedback about this reading.

In the meantime, I wish you peace of mind and many blessings.

Hi! I must say I am no Tarot reader but as I read Cedars post, I was moved to share an experience of mine with you...I hope you don't mind. After my divorce from a 17 year marriage, I was literally starting from scratch, with no friends and no relationships except those at work. I was in therapy with a wonderful counselor to help me along this path. She asked me to do a simple exercise. At home, when my mind was still, she wanted me to write down responses to this question, "what am I afraid of?" Well, would you like to know what was the first thing I wrote down? "Im afraid to allow myself to be happy." When I next saw my therapist, she asked me why I was afraid of "allowing" myself to be happy. My response, "because happiness elevates you and its a long fall down from that state to sadness." I was so afraid of the disappointments associated with the flip side of happiness that I was keeping myself down, fear of happiness was keeping from living and allowing love to come into my life! This was an "A-ha!" Moment in my life and I realized the only thing preventing me from happiness was my own fears. I began to read encouraging books, say daily affirmations, and open myself to love by realizing fear was not worth all that I was missing! This is empowering and freeing when you decide to be the captain of your life and open up to love, not close off from fear. I am happier now than ever in my life, but its because I had to experience living outside of my fears, being okay with the fall after happiness turns to sadness due to a failed relationship ... life is about living, not hiding behind that which keeps us from happiness. Be thankful for the past for lessons it provided....and live free. I hope this makes sense. Everyone deserves happiness and the privilege of giving this gift to yourself is worth the journey. Take care and find your Passion! All the best, ~jules

Dear CoCo

Thank you very much for your feedback which you sent to me via Private Message. Whilst it is always encouraged to post such responses following the reading in the public forum so that others may benefit from it, I understand from the content of your response that you would not want that.

Best wishes to you and continue on the current path where you find yourself.