No, Silvio... there's no need to relate the delay to the content of the reading.... writing down a reading takes couple of hours. I need the time and space physically as well as in my head and heart to write it, and not be bothered by say a dispute with a student that day for example, or in between grading papers, or a nausea. I just prefer to make all the time mentally and emotionally to the writing of a done reading.

So, here it is...I used my Crowley Toth for the reading. The spread used is called "heart". You originally mentioned you wanted a a general reading about everything, but then later mentioned wishes regarding family. So, I asked "show me what Silvio needs to know related to what is close to his heart."

Heart spread:

8 _ 1
7 _ 2
 6 _ 3
  5 _ 4

1: primary concern of the heart / desire
2: major factor (past emotion)
3: how to change or enhance the major factor
4: consequence of a change
5: what you might not see of what is in the near future
6: possible challenges
7: how the challenges may affect you
8: ultimate accomplishment

1: primary concern of the heart / desire - Ace of Swords

In your life, your heart's desire is a wish for a clarity of mind, unburdened by emotions and duality, an ability to cut through the chaos and come to a deeper understanding of things. It's like you wish to structurize life and find a simple, clean formula.

2: major factor (past emotion) - Lust (in RW it's Strength)

Recently you felt energized and felt as if you started a new cycle in your life, a journey less of understanding the outside world, but more the inner world... a journey in understanding yourself and in extension how you affect your life. You've started a cycle of self-acceptance, and how to deal with your more instinctive reactions. You're learning how to "respond" instead of "react". To confront yourself takes a lot of courage, and it is very empowering.

3: how to change or enhance the major factor - Moon

If Lust is an exhilerating experience where you feel like you can take on the world, the Moon is a frightening and insecure one. However, though it is hte strangest, weirdest and most frightening growth journey, it is also an empowering one.

Once we start to look inside to understand ourselves, we will at some point have to confront the aspects that we like to hide/ignore or reject from ourselves. The most fearful experience is to look inside and be absolutely honest about ourselves. The Moon stands for the time in our lives where we have to confront our fear of our own fears. When we fear something in life, it often disguises another sentiment. And we will be more fearful of recognizing our true sentiments than living with the masking fear.

So, to empower yourself more, you need to go through a phase where life and yourself is not clear cut, but chaotic, you don't seem to have much support to lean on, and your biggest fear might seem to be lurking around the corner. You might be having very vivid dreams, strange insights that do not seem logical or even realistic.

In this position, this card is mostly saying that in order to fully empower yourself you need to confront the dillusion of depression. Depression is an exemplary fear of fears. It is a journey to come to terms with the underlying emotions that cause it.

4: consequence of a change - 10 of swords

Where the ace starts a mental cycle, the 10 of swords finishes it. This card suggests that the Moon's path may feel as if all the mental hard work you've done so far has come to nothing, that you relapse into a "victim" phase, as if the "fates" have dealt you another blow. It would be as if you are relapsing into depression. I'm also having a strong impression that you will feel that the clear cut formula of life is evading you.

However, because the card reveals the end of a mental cycle, it also heralds a new mental cycle. Both Lust as well as the Moon show that fundamental seeds of inner growth have been sown. And you might also discover that perhaps your belief there is such a thing as a simple formula to life is a dillusion... that there is no such thing as a formula, that life is chaos, grey and not black and white. And you might discover that all you need to do is shake off the accustomized victim glasses, stand up again and start afresh.


5: what you might not see of what is in the near future - Hanged Man

This Major Arcana card reveals that for a while you will feel stuck in a rut, as if life is pinning you down and hindering you from doing what you want. This too generally evokes a victim feeling, as if life is out to make it hard on you. The reason such phases happen is indeed to force us to stand still for a while and ultimately reconnect with our own inner self, our identity we were born with. When we come into this life, when we start it, we have all posibilities before us still, and we're not bothered by the chaos at it all because we lack a full grown ego. We lack fears and wants, because we lack a full grown ego. On the one hand an ego gives our life direction via pursuing our wants. On the other hand it is also the seat of our fears. Because while we want things, we also fear we might not get what we want. And so, when life pins us down and hampers every movement of ourselves, it does that to show us that our wants (the ace of swords - the simple formula of life) may be dillusional.

When this is happening, it is better not to fight life, but to accept the fact that you will have to pause progression. Instead you are to find inner peace, and take the time to reevaluate your desires and the accompanying fears. If you use this opportunity (and it is an opportunity) then you will discover how many possibilities you have in life, will find other views in which to approach life than you have done before.

6: possible challenges - 2 of cups

This card is often called the Love card. Twos are about dualism, but in the cups series it means finding a way to unite two seeming opposite aspects into a new combination. This card in this spread in this position indicates that you are challenged to relate with others. That you are challenged in your relationships with loved ones, but also in uniting two seeming oppoising inner selves.


7: how the challenges may affect you - ace of wands

This challenge of uniting and relating will give you a surge of energy, spark of inspiration in order to self-realize and start new goals in your life. Here we have the new possible start in your life heralded by the 10 of swords. You will discover a determination within you that you haven't felt for a long while.

8: ultimate accomplishment - three of wands

The three of wands stands for how we feel when spring is in full swing... a new chance to grow. There aren't just new developments, but we feel energized on a deeper level and can almost touch those new developments.

Conclusion

This spread identifies how you hope to understand life on a deeper level, but pursue the dillusion that the answer to life is clear cut, a simple formula that can be applied constantly. It shows that you have started a courageous cycle of inner exploration that energized you, but it's only the start. Both the Moon, the 10 of swords and the Hanged Man suggest that you still need to go through painful situations and lessons, which will involve victim feelings as well as your fears for depressions. But they occur to make you realize that the ace of swords you chase is a dillusion. There is no simple answer to life. It is not black and white.
The spread indicates how you can learn this lesson the best... in your relations with your loved ones as well as learing to love yourself and unite your known slef with your feared shadow self.
And while this spread indicates you have still a way to go, it also shows that you can find a true new life of hope and possibilities, including with your loved ones as well as yourself.

Basically the first four cards show you're going through a cycle where your heart's desire is being broken down in order to make you realize that what you're chasing the wrong mental dream, belief. The last four cards show a rebuilding of life after the breakdown of the old dillusion to a new hopeful life.

Thank you for the reading, it was very accurate. I will take note of all the important details here to use in my life.

I'm just posting again to confirm something. Respective of the reading, the main concepts to me seems to be that the "depression" and the chaos that occurs around me is an opportunity for me to gain and develop self-actualisation, replace any pessimistic attitudes with healthier ones and to overcome any fears, through periods of time where progress seems to be mitigated. Would this be a correct summary of the reading? Thanks again for the time and effort to concoct my reading, it should aid in sustaining a positive outlook on my life.

That's it! Exactly!

Just a little update, the reading was mostly accurate, however, I feel like I am making no progress spiritually at all. I have no formula in mind, apart from reason or logic as the catalyst for diplomacy and to sincerely resolve matters, as my prime method. In the reading you said that I would feel determination and inspiration, it is the opposite, with the chaos, in spite of trying to ignore and start fresh, there are consistent problems with friends, family, neighbours and even strangers, that really do seem unrealistic and trivial. If it's not diplomacy and reason that they want to resolve issues, then what is it? violence? suicide?...how am I to find inner peace when every alternate method I can think of where no one would get hurt, is through the method of diplomatic approaches, unfortunately most people don't seem to listen to logic and reason. It has even gotten to the point where I can't direct bottled emotions to more productive activities, without disrupting others or finding the incentive to do tasks. I am searching for motivation, but can find none. This is truly perplexing, if I can't ignore situations and direct negative emotions at various activities, use reason or logic, violence (I've reached to that point once, unfortunately, that was just how confusing the situation is at the present.)  or suicide ( which I don't even feel like I have enough energy in me left to even feel suicidal, let alone care about what happens.)
I'm sure I wouldn't mind a contemplating period, if this wasn't also simultaneously one of my most important phases in life, that could determine my future and that needs my full attention and focus, which I am currently lacking. I've tried to view it as an opportunity, however the only benefit I've gotten out of this journey was to learn that my slightest, instinctive actions can have a huge impact on "friendships" and "family". Is feeling like nothing matters suppose to be empowering? The reason I implore this, is that I don't care, I truly don't, it's not that I don't want to care, I just feel like the only solution is to sleep and stay in my bedroom, as I am too paranoid and intimidated to even wander my house and of my own family members. This hasn't made me appreciate life, family or friends more, just how life has peculiar methods in making somebody value everything. I ask a person "why they did or said something" and they don't reply back or say something to hide their petty reasons, so a resolution could not be reached.
Am I going in the right direction? There is a glimmer of hope, that once I get through this, that I would be able to muse about this unusual phase, laugh and have learnt many lessons, but that doesn't seem plausible, as of now.