Hello, Arbi,
I have decided to use my latest baby, the Legacy of the Divine Tarot, in a little used (at least by me) but beautiful spread called the Cup. Since you seem so interested in marriage, I thought a Cup spread would be nice, since Cups represent feelings. In fact, the spread itself consists of 8 cards laid forming a cup, like this:
4 8
5 7
6
3
2
1
Most of them, save for 2 and 3, are actually lying on their side, to make the shape even better. I have no means of posting the whole spread, for it is too big. I've posted a few cards, those I have scanned, which aren't many, but to give you an idea of how they look.
Let us see what they tell us about you...
1.UNCONSCIOUS: things you can work on, possible weaknesses.
3 of Coins: this is a card for mastery as a result of dedicated effort, technical ability, understanding, energy and desire. Work lifts your spirit if rooted on the needs of your community. As you see, the reading begins focusing on your working life and its spiritual benefits.
2.POTENTIAL: it shows if you are in balance with the first, or if there is repression, excess or lack of tension, or if anything is forced.
7 of Cups: since this card stands for imagination and emotion with little link to action, I would say there is a slight unbalance, specially since you seem a bit confused as to the real advantages you could obtain from the situations you dream of. Maybe you are too trusting in things that can have no long term effect on your life. To sum it up, I'd say you spend too long daydreaming when you should be trying to master your daily work or studies.
3.PRESENT EXPERIENCE: what you do, how you express yourself.
9 of Swords: you tend to take all sufferings on your shoulders, or to worry in circles about things that don't depend on you. Also feeling easily guilty and beating yourself about it. When nothing you do can make these feelings go away you are sometimes left with pure anguish. This card is cautioning you about going through this difficult path: are you making the best choices? Even a small change can make a great difference.
4.CONSCIOUS: should you change now? Continue as before with just a few less burdens? Are you strong enough to make a complete turnabout?
5 of Cups: this card alerts yo to the possibility of a loss, and its associated emotions. Knowing about it can help you avoid it or reduce its impact on your life. The good side is that every loss initiates change: it hurts because of our emotional resistance to change. The more you struggle to hold on, the the more you suffer. Also remember to cherish that which is left standing, instead of ignoring it in your grief.
5.FUTURE: you have many choices. Just be prudent if negative cards appear in this position.
4 of Swords reversed: the loss from the 5 of Cups may make you go through a period of retirement, but you will eventually return to your usual activities and relationships. Or maybe, if you take too long, others will break through your emotional wall in order to reach you.
6.DECISION: Do you feel free to make the choice of influencing your future?
Page of Coins: this is a material opportunity coming your way, the chance to make your dreams come true: be sure to act on it! It can also mean going through a period of stability, trust, commitment, safety and physical enjoyment. Be lighthearted and revel in being alive. It's link with card 1 means you are aligned with your inner needs and will decide what is ultimately best for you.
7.ACTIONS: choosing the right targets and directing your efforts towards them.
Knight of Coins reversed: your main objective should be to try to discover the true source of your strength. Otherwise you might feel weak and aimless due to an excessive passivity.
8.REALIZATION: where your actions take you.
King of Coins: this person finds opportunity everywhere and succeeds in everything the mind is set on. Enterprising and adept, handles everything in a competent manner, drawing on a wide range of skills and practical knowledge. Always dependable and responsible, others rely on this person completely and never get failed. Knowing that by giving more, one receives more, is always generous with time and resources, encouraging others and lending support wherever needed. Steady and even temperament. Either you will end up achieving this sort of mastery, or will find an atmosphere of steady, reliable competence. This special energy will have a special meaning in your life. Let yourself be inspired by this king whatever form he takes.
Well, now, isn't that amazing? I never got all 3 Court cards from the same suit in a row before... And I give you my word I shuffled very thoroughly: I always spread all cards face down on the table and push them around as if playing with sand. In this case, I take them as a very vivid picture of your development as a down to Earth person, even if you go through insecure phases, which is only normal.
Apart from this, which we will discuss later, let me draw your attention to the lack of Wands or energetic action in the spread. It is a bit worrying in a person your age who is also a Fire sign, a Sag, like me (even if our astrological system doesn't mean that much to you). The knight of Coins reversed represents you right now: young, but a bit aimless at this time. In order to reach the King's level of complexity, you need to find your focus and really act on it. Maybe you need to take a little more exercise outdoors, some physical exertion might be good to tone you up a bit. Have you tried meditating on the light of a candle? That can put you in contact with your inner flame. Otherwise, all your dreams will be forever dreams and never come true. Some action is always needed.
Another curious lack is that of Major Arcana, which suggests you will be undergoing normal development without major changes or turn-points, apart from that possibility of a loss.
Your inner guide is trying to make you see the importance of honing your abilities for survival right now, and not to dwell so much on possibilities that may yet be out of reach or not even what you need. You have the makings of a very responsible, hardworking and trustworthy person who usually attracts others very easily. The spread shows how you develop these traits from your guide's unconscious goal of mastery (3 of Coins) to the King of Coins, someone who has fully mastered Earthy matters. You will get the right chances (Page of Coins) and you must act on them immediately or you risk letting them pass you by (Knight of Coins reversed).
Apart from your passivity, other traits you must work on is your excessive daydreaming (7 of Cups), which is a very pleasant activity to take our mind off from problems, as long as you don't deceive yourself with false illusions. And your tendency to worry too much about things out of your range of action (9 of Swords).
Don't be scared about a possible loss (5 of Cups): we all must go through them eventually, and usually come out stronger from them, as the 4 of Swords reversed suggests. They give you a chance to change when you are too timid to actively seek it, and a chance to appreciate that which you still have and also that which enters your life in its place.
As you see, your other half still seems a long way off. Or at least, the reading indicates you still have more important things to work on before you are fully ready for marriage. One thing seems sure, though: once you do master all those incipient skills, you will be well provided for and surrounded by trust and security.
Hope to have been of help. Any feedback will be appreciated, and also any questions you may have on any of the meanings. Best luck to you on 2010.
Hugs
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