Dear Cedars

I hope my query is not too soon after my last. I understand if so, or if you are too busy. Thanks in advance for your time.
My query may seem pointless or even repetitive in some respects in comparison to my last posts.

My query is regarding something I have noticed in my life that is really concerning me- and sets me apart from anyone else i know- therefore safe to say is not "normal" and doesn’t EVER seem to improve/let up (hence my concern).

The same patterns repeat themselves in my life. Literally the same negative events happen over and over again and this has been true throughout my whole life. For awhile, I thought it was my attitude and through circumstances I was born into. Those two things have recently changed, yet the patterns repeat nonetheless.

Without sounding like a victim, to be totally blunt- I am just very tired of these repeated patterns. I have tried everything i can to change things and nothing works. I am wondering if you can shed any light into why these things happen over and over again (26 year worth - rejection, being depreciated by others over and over again and having few to no people worthy of my friendship in my life and loneliness. Also life generally always being a struggle).

Also if anything will ever change in my life- or if it will always be a case of me 'striving' to get out of this situation. I just feel that things come easily to others around me i.e good friends, fun, relationships- i have always had to struggle and still don’t have those things that others take as given.

Also, i am supposedly at the peak of my life in my mid 20s, however have none of the things that my peers have. Just feel that as i get older, i am less likely to find a partner,general stability - esp as the 'struggle' will continue for longer. If things continue as they are (and have been for life time) - my life will more accurately be described as an existence rather than a life. I know this sounds really futile, but i think when you connect to me, you will see that I am not exaggerating /victimising (i hope) - this is my reality, and I have done a lot to try for a long time to try and change things to avoid taking like this, like a victim, to myself and others.

I don’t know - maybe from an objective (your) POV, you may tell me that maybe it is all in my head, or i attract these things, or it is karma from a previous life or something. I just thought that it was worth maybe asking your POV. Thanks so much and sorry for such a long post, and thanks for taking the time to read this. Again, don’t worry if you are too busy.

Many thanks again

Dear Hope
I will get back to you very soon.
Keep your chin up my good lady.

While Cedars finds time to do the spread, I would just like to tell you I am very sorry you feel like that, specially since you seem to have been dragging this for a long time.
Relationships aren't easy for most of us, whatever it may look like on the surface. But I believe the key word in your case may be 'struggle', since no matter how hard we try we cannot affect relationships to our advantage. In fact, I think the more we struggle, the worse the results. Probably because if you feel you have to struggle to get through to others, they perceive your tension and insecurity and may draw away. But also because while you are so intent on results and comparing each situation with previous negative ones, you are projecting a negative result before it happens. And, most of all, you are not letting others know your true self. If you could stay relaxed and unconcerned around others, they would surely feel drawn to you. We all like natural, untroubled people.

I hope Tarot will shed light on the best path for you.

Best wishes  

Dear Hope

The only thing I looked back in your MB history was the date you had your last reading. I did not read the contents of our last communication as I do not want to be influenced by that. All I know is you have had some tough times in the recent past…
I will take this particular thread on its own merit. I am not sure at this stage if it is a reading that you need or words of support.
The immediate impression I got after reading your post was that you were being unfair to yourself. We don’t want that for anyone.



Nothing is pointless. If you felt the need to air your thoughts and feelings, you must have had good reasons for doing so.



Wait there my good friend. What is ‘normal’ in this life? How do you define ‘normal’? Just because a certain accepted behaviour pattern with others seems to be the going trend, it does not, and I repeat, it does not mean that it is ‘abnormal’ just because you are not in or within that realm of behaviour or lifestyle yourself.



Okay. Are you ignoring the positive trend here Hope? You just said “Those two things have recently changed...”  Whatever those things are, there have been changes and I gather positive changes. Are you perhaps being a bit impatient for things to change all IN ONE GO? Are you doing all that is necessary to bring about those ‘changes’? This is no accusation  my dear friend, as I will be the first to admit that sometimes you should just go with the flow until it is time that you bring about those changes without even realising you are doing them. It is all so good to point the finger and ask: what are you doing to change this or change that? I believe there is not much we can do sometimes and the best way is to join along with life and go with it… Makes sense? Or, did you expect me to give you some rhetorical ‘advice’ on how to change your life and send you a hefty bill? Nope. Of course not ;




You forget too soon my friend. Only a month ago you came out of a legal battle or something of that nature if I remember correctly, and here you are blaming yourself for being unable to bring in changes. Why? Why do you do this yourself? Are you perhaps trying too hard to bring about changes? Are you perhaps having far too high expectations from yourself? Why don’t you ask yourself: why these repeated patterns? What is the pattern of behaviour in these very same ‘repeated patterns’? Have you ever looked at them under a different light to see the Aha! factor? Perhaps you won’t see an Aha! factor, but on the off chance, have you considered to sit and quietly look at why these repeated patterns keep coming back? My dear, I am talking hypothetically here as I do not know what these ‘repeated patterns’ are. But it is worth looking at them without any emotions, as though you were handling someone else’s problems. See what does that tell you?



Of course things will change in your life. Change is inevitable for all of us! We cannot avoid change and we cannot fight it off. As to things coming ‘easily’ to others around you and not to you, have you ever thought that you are You? Do you really know how those others feel under their own skin? Whether your friends are having partners every day or whether they get all the luck in the world in this or that….. Have you ever looked at all the positive things in and around you and in YOUR life?



Everyday of your life and mine and the next person’s is a STRUGGLE. When the struggle stops, life stops with it. Do you want that to happen? You have used the word ‘victim’ more than once here and I am beginning to sense a case of giving up hope and jumping on the self-pity wagon. Excuse my last sentence dear friend. I am as guilty as the next person for going through feelings of self-pity at times in my life and I am sure I will keep doing so when I feel hopeless about certain situations. But…. I say, BUT, the more you travel on this victimisation trail, the more the patterns will keep happening and happening again to you.
Who knows why things happen to us the way they do and other things happen to others? Who are we to find those answers? Can we find those answers? We do not have all the answers and probably we will never find some of the answers. But, what shall we do in the meantime? Stop living? Hell No!!!!!!! Do LIVE life the best way you can and do not think on the why’s and how’s for a while. You may find an answer today, but tomorrow that answer may not even make sense to you. Life keeps changing my dear friend; it always does. In your case it has probably taken a slower pace but it is still LIFE, LIVING, BEING ALIVE, FEELING and coming to Mystic Board and expressing your most tender feelings, thoughts and disappointments. You are ALIVE my dear friend  and, whilst you may not have all the things you want or think you may need for your happiness, but please live life the best way you can.


It is not in your head my dear friend and you are not some abnormal creature who attracts all these things to herself. Far from it.  I don’t know Karma and stuff like that. I am now wondering if looking at the cards would be the right approach for you.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I took some time out and decided that without a reading you might feel that you’ve been let down.

I am going to use a spread which looks at Current Challenges and Future Outcome(s).

The question I asked is: What are Hope’s current challenges and what possible outcomes can she expect for the foreseeable future?

Rider Waite deck.

Personal Challenge Right now: Justice.
I feel your personal challenge right now is to find a balance within yourself and the outside world. If your recent past (legal issues) are still having an impact on your life right now, I feel justice may have been served and you the message could be that you should weigh the pros and cons and find that much-needed balance in your life.

Relationship challenge right now: King of Pentacles.
A man whether you are or might be romantically involved with – older than yourself – who is financially comfortable and is willing to help and give sound advice may play a part in your relationship challenges. This is a man who has built his wealth on good knowledge of economics and his wealth does not blotch his better judgement. Looking at this card, I do not get the feeling that it is with him that your relationship challenge may lie, but somehow he may have an impact on that side of your life. This could be a boss, a financial advisor or possibly someone with whom you have certain ties that may open doors and indeed present some challenges in your personal life.

What holds you back? The Star.
If this card was reversed I would have said the lack of hope. In its upright position, however, I am inclined to say the same thing, as I have stated in my above mentioned paragraphs that you are perhaps setting too high a standard or expectations of yourself; that you are halting your own progress. The Star represents hope and ideas and ideals… However, the hopes, the ideas as well as the ideals would be bubbles in the air if they are not attended to or given the right nurturing that they need.

What motivates you? The High Priestess.
Knowledge, knowledge, knowledge… but knowledge of a different kind. Not of the mundane and the earthly realm. You desire to know it all; you desire to penetrate into the heart of the matter, into things far and beyond the person next to you….. Perhaps that is why you see things happening to you not in the same way that they happen to others. Why do I get the feeling that you are spiritually and mentally at a different level than your friends who may be having relationships at the drop of a hat, whilst you feel you are being left out? Could it be that you are a person of a higher vibrations than those to whom ‘things happen’?

Where will you get support? Six of Wands.
From the very people surrounding you in your environment, in your very circle of friends and admirers. I feel I need to say to you that you should stop wondering why things happen to this or that. Why does he or she have this and you don’t? The sooner the ‘why them’ type of thinking comes to an end, the sooner you will get support form those very same people. This is just a feeling I am feeling and may not typically represent this particular card.

What decisions you need to make based on these so far? Nine of Pentacles.
Well, I may repeat myself here as I have said above: be disciplined and be self-assured of your own abilities, because abilities you do have and it is time you started believing in them instead of putting yourself down. It may feel lonely at times like this lady enjoying her own pleasures ON HER OWN, but that will be your strength to carry on and move forward.

Well, my good friend? Take what you will out of this and I hope this has made some sense to you.

I would love to hear from you when you get a few minutes.

Hugs and live up to your name – HOPE!

Dear Cedars

Thank you so much (as always) for taking such a great deal of time and heartfelt effort to tend to my queries, provide me with much needed grounding and an objective perspective. It was exactly what i needed and was implicitly asking for.
The trouble with my current state (feeling lonely and isolated and like "everyone else has everything i want" therefore wont understand how i feel if i confide in them/will just presume there is something wrong with me) is that i don’t have anyone to bounce off , and my feelings of despair turn into wallowing.

I have been honest with myself - and i do feel that i am justified in feeling tired of things- but the point is HOW to deal with these feelings as you pointed out. Also , i can't believe i overlooked the fact that things have changed  and i for some bizarre reason forgot about the recent legal wrangle.
I have decided to make practical changes to my life, and just trust that things are better (albeit changing VERY slowly), but at least things are not worse. Thanks so much for your time and patience, as always - you readings are more than reading as the advice is so profound and really personally relevant. It actually frightens me sometimes how accurate they are (i read back the advice you gave me during my legal wrangle and every word of it is accurate in regards to the outcome, how it affected me and what i learnt from it).
Thanks so much again for this reading - i needed the emotional support from someone i respect and trust, and this is not true of the few people i have in my life at the moment.

I know that the information comes as you carry out the reading, and of course do not worry if you can’t recall - but i am curious about the King of Pentacles part of the reading. Can you recall whether this felt like someone presently in my life that is wiser and older (possibly female, if not too fine a point) who is “positively counselling” me for want of a better phrase, and through this counselling and 'fair and tough love' is helping reach financial stability for the first time in my life (my current boss). And teaching me that people can be genuinely empathetic, and fair contrary to my previous situation which resulted in an intense legal battle owing to mistreatment and still leaves me paranoid in my new job. Or did it feel like something in the future/yet to come into my life?
Parts of the paragraph about the King of Pentacles reading made present sense to me, but i wasn't sure of it's exact meaning –i.e.  whether it was relating to an astute man that may come into my life and ground certain areas of it, or whether it was just a person that would ground me in a significant way (and not necessarily be a man or have any romantic involvement in my life)

Anyway, don’t wory if this is too fine a point. Thanks SO much for your time and effort and providing me with such useful advice. I feel as though you have literally made me see the light…

Thanks so much and thanks on behalf of all of those that have not taken the time on this forum following receipt of readings for you - to thank you for your astute readings and sound advice on this forum.