nice to know that.


i wanted to ask this yesterday, but then i though when i fall in love i will find out myself...i think i should just ask...

does it have to be the opposite? i've heard opposites attract and all that.
and i have no problem with that possibility at all. but does he really have to be someone i wouldn't expect to fall in love with or marry..something about him that strikes as  impossible to be with.
when we are in love the choice is made, most often. its quite possible that the person we fall in love does not fit the "type" we have in mind.. but we love them anyways..
what i'm worried is...if this card specifically shows opposites..then maybe the difference is not just what i'm thinking..its probably more..i know we don't have to take the tarots literally..so interracial couple is not the possibility this card is indicating..its probably differences as big as that..diffrence in values/culture/social status..and race maybe if we take it literally.
what do you think?

I can only share you my own experience. I was basically single for 10 years, and at least 7-8 years of it I loved being single. 2 years I was utterly single, but against my wishes, after a break up with a man who in an emotional "in love" sense was and still is the man of my life, and it took me 2 years to get emotionally beyond a point where I started to accept it wasn't meant to be, although even up to last year I would still get a souring moment of longing at least once a year. I had some short term boyfriends, bit of company, but no strings attached, and though I thought I wished it would lead to something, to be honest, I just didn't feel like making space for someone in my life all those years. I was just having too much fun in exploring and building up my life the way I wanted it, and many of those things are hard on relationships (like packing a backpack and be off for 2 months). The last couple of years I started to get bored by being lusted after, and fed up with the superficiality of it.

I sometimes felt feelings of being in love, sometimes even strongly, but I always had it in my mind that the guy needed to choose me, before I could allow myself to choose him. About 3 years ago, I had a Grail meditation, where I had to find my way through a wall of thorn bushes into a garden with a pond and a grail. I was bleading head to toe by the time I got to the center, symbolizing my pains of the past, the wounds and the hurt of that one big broken heart. It wasn't that my heart had been closed before that, but the lesson of giving my blood to get there, the weeping of tears when I beheld its beauty were sacrifices in order to be allowed to hold it and carry it... my heart opened up to universal love, even if I already knew unconditional love (for the man of my past). It was a very mystical experience and to relate all that I learned from it would be beyond the scope of what I want to share with you regarding "chosing" and the "grail of love". After that experience, the past never hurt me, and I was truly healed from those wounds. But still nothing lasting came into my life (for the reasons already explained).

Then in a meditation about 2 years ago a symbolic figure told me I had it wrong to expect to find a man who would choose me. It was I who needed to do the chosing, and it was meant in a way that the choosing needs to be done before the "in love" part. If I would choose the man, he would come to choose me, and everything else (falling in love, love, faith, relationship) would follow from that.

My higher self accepted and understood the message in my mind and in my heart, but my emotional basic self didn't even know how that could ever work. And so I started to look around, open minded to see who I could choose, but I seemed unable to. It was as if I lacked faith in some of the candidates, or my attractions would get in the way. Eventually, the past year I retreated into myself, and avoided a lot of my previous social life, and though I felt like something was incomplete, it did not pain me, and I planned to do what I was good at: be by myself and enjoy life. And then I met a man this summer. He was attractive and was noticeable, but I was not particularly interested to meet him. He had a bit of the aura that made me think he probably was a "bad boy" and I had long learned to steer clear from those. I was not eager to make acquaintances either, yet we did anyway. At some point he started to show signs of interest in me, but just a normal male interest (when you know they try to get noticed more, in a more personal way, but not out of the ordinary). Rationally I did not regard him seriously and could not imagine he would consider me seriously. And yet, a dream one night, told me that if I were to choose him, it would get real serious indeed. So, there I was, me not in love, him not in love, me thinking "no way, him?!" And in a few days I paid enough attention to make a choice, and all the while I felt there would be nothing easier than to let the opportunity pass. I chose him nonetheless, and I wasn't even in love yet. And the choice was really all mine, in actions, in mind and heart. And once I made that choice all the rest followed from it.  

No, Lovers is not necessarily about opposites attracting each other. A partner doesn't need to be an opposite to make you go "Duh! him?" (or "her?") at the moment of choosing. But the choice will be a challenge nevertheless in one way, and yet at the same time so strangely easy too. But "choosing"/"deciding" and "opening that heart for the grail" are some of the most important steps towards finding the right, though at first appearance unlikely candidate.

Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. I have a very painful past...i'm completely over it, infact it is so faded in my memory...its like it never existed..my confidence has suffered a lot..but its all okay now..i think.


exactly my feelings, how can anyone choose before falling in love. but you had guidance, through your own dreams..
so you could make the choice. i'm happy for you, i'm sure its a very nice feeling to be with the "one".


i have faith that i will find the one..someday ..somehow. i trust that the my instincts will guide me ..my inner voice will tell me . (just being optimistic)

i'm not gifted, no tarots/psychic/dreams..only my instincts. i could use outside help, like i've done now..but essentially its guidance from within..i understand that.
i could identify well with the other cards you picked, that's why i felt the reading was deep, this card seemed simple..but its not as simple as it seems..although it indicates the very obvious "love". i understand what you mean by opening up..im always guarded..i'll do whats needed and lets see..

once again, many many thanks.