Thank you Cas, and thanks for your inputs too to Silvio

Thank you for the replies and the reading, cedars and cascade of light.
It was a very accurate reading, I do concur that I am a very uptight and serious person, especially when it comes to doing something I want. At my current state right now, yes you are correct, I can help people despite my lack of "leadership" position, but being promoted to that position, means that it will expand my horizons, develop skills, more opportunities to help people, more tools for a solution and fairness. I will admit this is where there is a selfish drive for what I want to do, I want to be able to make something out of life, this correlates to one of the reasons I want to help others,it is to also grow spiritually.
As for your questions and concern cedar, I think everybody, no matter how evil they might be perceived as, has a side of compassion and understanding, so I am open to helping anyone and accepting different viewpoints, but I guess there is also some inner insecurities, I must overcome, in reference to the card the magician: "you are too engrossed in your own mind whether you will be good at this or that", that is also true and also a weakness of mine, I don't think the things I do are adequate enough or meet the standards I want and thus being this lovable figure to everybody would mean that my acts have actually made a difference and I am making progress in growing spiritually, in others words another selfish motive: I want to be accepted by all, even though I know this is definitely not possible, there are diverse personalities and a huge world, but I will work on the new mindset, that I cannot do everything to everybodys' liking and learn to accept myself for my own views and feelings. Cascade of Light, your insight has made me ponder and have a new belief to what leadership is all about, being able to accept restrictions, tolerance of others, but I still think that understanding yourself and having that extra bit of confidence will still aid a leader or any person for that matter.
I sincerely thank you both for the support and insight you have given me, I will implement and utilise everything I've been told here and use it to not only help myself grow, but others too, if I get the position and if I don't, the views I have been told here, would still help me to achieve what I want, even if it means not having the extras that come with being a "leader".

-Sil

Silvio

Thank you for your feedback.
Whatever you do my friend, helping others or developing your own spirituality, please make sure to ALSO look after your own self. Whatever you do, please don't take the role of a martyr. You are a human being and you also have your needs.

And............ have some fun too. Get out of your serious shell and join your hand with others and have fun.

Best wishes to you in your journey.