I am going through a very rough time emotionally. I am single and have no children. I have always treated my nephews as my own children. Very often i am reminded by their mothers(my sisters) that i am not their mother. I have two sisters, and both of them ill treat me.
One of my sisters is selfish, jealous and insecure. She thinks that i like the other sisters children more than her children. She humiliates me and hurts me in every possible way, just because she thinks i like the other children more than hers. It seems like i dont even have the right to love a child that is dear to me.
The other sister, whose children I am more fond of, is also manipulative in a different way. She uses her children to get her way.
To be honest, i like all children. I only try to protect the child/chilren that are less aggressive and submissive. I am fair with everyone. Even if I am not fair, i think I should have the freedom to be fond of the child i like.
The sister who's children I am more fond of lives overseas, and she is here on vacation. I have waited all year to meet her children, because, to be honest..those children are my world. They lived with me with their mother for more than a week, and all of a sudden my sister picked a fight with me and took away her children to live with my other sister. This is a pattern, she tries to punish me by taking those children away from me.
It is killing me, that they are not with me. I am really hurt. and i cant stay away from them. i keep worrying if they are fine, if they are well treated by my other sister..

Am I doing something wrong? Why am I treated like this? Do the children want to live with me? Should I call them to stay with me?
Can I get a reading please.

Hello Chasingdreams,

I am not sure if it is a reading that you need here.

I am sorry to hear about this situation of yours. I can’t say it fills me with peace but more of anger at first glance. And, my first impression would be to say you have two vicious and manipulative sisters. Sorry.  They are selfish witches (I wanted to use another word that rhymes with the word ‘witch’) and it would be best for you to stay away from them, even though you love their kids so much.

In all this I get a sense of pain on your side. As you haven’t got your own children and for that I understand your love for your sisters’ children, even if you are fond of one more than the other; there is nothing wrong with that. Unless it is a situation that you cannot have children of your own and your sisters are using that situation to their own (or their children’s) advantage, because I also get the feeling that you must spoil the kids with presents and so on, I think they are just playing a cruel game with you.

My dear one, I don’t know what kind of a reading you would need in this case, if any reading at all. My heart goes out for you for I sense your love towards these kids is genuine but your sisters, who are of a lower vibration than yours, are using your love for some ulterior motive.

I strongly believe that you should not be the victim in this situation. Love is not supposed to hurt – but unfortunately it does sometimes. I can’t help getting the picture of the Hanged Man out of my mind; that of being a martyr and sacrificing yourself for a cause. Is this a worthy cause to sacrifice your feelings and emotions and also be humiliated and manipulated by BOTH of your sisters? I believe not. But it is a case that you should want to see it too.

I wonder, and if you have got the courage to do this for a while, what would be the repercussions if you withdrew from both your sisters and their kids? Can you handle it? It will be painful, simply because of your love to the kids, but would your sisters find themselves at a loss that they have no one to manipulate or even pick on?

Why are you being the victim here? Why are you being the martyr here? Who said that you are supposed to love your nieces and nephews like they were your own? How about when you get your own children? What would your sisters do about it? Would they expect that you love their kids with the same love as your own? I am not a parent, but I don’t think that is a valid argument. Your love would immediately go to your own children, first and foremost. Perhaps you should prepare yourself to that eventuality that one day you may or will have your own children, and how would you yourself feel then when your love went to your own children than your sisters’?  Who would they have to play games with then?

What do you mean if there is something wrong with you? What in the world you mean by even the notion to inviting these children to live with you? What on earth for? Are you out of your mind? You have to be careful when you say things like this fo you may get close to accusing their parents of curelty, which I dont think they are. Check and see why your obsession with these children?

I don’t think there is a case here for a reading as such. What is the question? What do you expect from a reading; to tell you what to do? I cannot tell you what to do my dear friend. But perhaps your love is turning out to be your own worse enemy towards these children.

I ask you: what do you think you should do?

Hi Cedars,
I am feeling very vulnerable, just don't know what to do..i dont understand how to deal with this.Hence, I asked for a reading.


Its been a pattern, she tries to punish me by taking the child away from me and asking him not to talk to me. Because, I can't bear that..i give in to her ego/pride.
when i wrote should i ask them to live with me? I meant asking the mother to come back and stay with me. You are right, my post came across as accusing my sisters of cruelty, this inturn shows how obsessed I am with those children. Perhaps, this is what is wrong with me.

Thanks for the eye opener.

Its very hard for me. She left my place 2 days back with the children. I did not ask her to leave. That day I told myself that I will not give in this time, my love for those children cannot be more than my sense of self worth and self esteem. Well, i couln't keep myself away for long, I went today to talk to the children. One of them spoke to me, the slightly older one did not, so i did not ask them to come back and stay with me. I came back home and decided I will not force myself on these children anymore, but I am sure, very soon i will be going again to talk to them and call them all to stay with me.

There was no fight between us. I don't know why i used the word *fight*, she was just angry for something very trivial.
That is why i asked "am i doing something wrong". Both my sisters seem to find faults in me.

Anyways, I think as you said, its my obsession for the children that is actually working against me.

My dear Chasingdreams,

Your sisters know how much you love their children and for whatever devilish and vicious reasons they are punishing you....... Do they depend on you for support, care and even finance? Where are their husband(s)?

You should not give in this time. They are using you for so many reasons and I cannot put my finger on it and, if you dont wake up and tell them you should receive the respect and due consideration you deserve, then they will walk all over you and punish you further using the children.

You are, in fact, as your name suggest, chasing a dream or dreams that is far and beyond your sisters' kids. You have become dependent on the love of your sisters' children and in a way adopted them as your own. You know that is not right.

I

I understand your vulnerability, but chasing what is actually harming you will do you no good.

Please check yourself and see why this dependency on your sisters' children. Also, think about when you get your own children....... what would you do then?