Im in a relation with a guy since the last one year. however, its not going anywhere. There is too much of fights and misunderstanding. Both of us think that the other one is wrong. Where is this relation headed??? Am I going wrong in the way im handling it ?? Would be glad to recieve a reading from learned members.

regards
Jyoti

Hello Pjyoti

It is always difficult to give a relationship reading, as the querent may think the reader is taking sides. In this case as you are the one who requested the reading, whatever feelings and insights I get, they will be related to you, although of course the cards will show an aspect of your partner’s side too.

At first I usually try to connect psychically before I shuffle and pick the cards. I have only started doing this recently and please bear with me as we are all learning here. I will come to the cards later.

It took me some time to connect with both of you. I got some muddled up feelings, words that I could not put together and did not know who they were being referred to. Words such as selfish, stubborn, strong opinions and then words like temperance, balance, and reconciliation. I was happy to start getting the latter words.

I feel one of you is too proud to concede, to give in and to understand the other’s side. In this respect I sense your partner may be doing much of conceding or the giving up and letting you have your way. This is not a sign of weakness on his part, but rather an attempt to keep the peace and it is also love towards you. However, I also sense that this aspect is hurting his pride as he gives up and turns his back to let you do what you want. But this situation is like a time bomb; it can explode sooner or later.

The deck I use is the Rider Waite and here is the spread:

Your position within this relationship:
Knight of Swords:
This is a person who is always on the go, never a moment’s peace. Up and down, restless and impulsive.  He does things at a moment’s notice and has the habit of changing his mind and going on to something else. He is not an evil person, but at times can be insensitive to others’ needs. I am not saying this is You, but perhaps your position in this relationship is the dominant, restless and impulsive. It is as if others don’t get a chance and as soon as they get the chance, up and go, things change again.

Your partner’s position within this relationship:
Five of Swords:
(I am not surprised we got swords for both of you).
This is someone who may intervene in a situation with the intention of finding peace and stopping arguments, but eventually he feels helpless that his efforts have not paid dividends. Even when he thinks he has kept the peace or come to an understanding about a situation, he is not convinced that he has achieved anything. He gives up and simply looks at the situations shrugging his shoulders.

What is working for you in this relationship?
The Moon.
This to me brings feelings of illusions and uncertainties. You are tossing between what seems and what really is. In your heart you know the basis of the relationship is strong, but there are dark points and that darkness disappears as soon as it is daylight. What we need is full daylight to feel confident in this relationship. You cannot go on believing that this relationship is working based on doubts, illusions and waiting for an incident to throw some light into it. You cannot be always in the night waiting for the sun to come up.

What is working against you in this relationship?
King of Swords:
(Sword again)
This is a person who is tough, does everything with the mind and rarely refers to his heart in his actions and decisions. Whatever is involved in this relationship where you might be the decision – maker, it pays to go to the heart and show consideration to feelings and indeed to the feeling of others. This is a strong king, I have to admit, and no one is saying you should give up those qualities, but I am tempted to go as far as saying that you should find a fine balance of making decisions together rather than single-handedly. Let the other person feel that he is the Man too.

What do you need to change?
Queen of Wands.
(We are getting away from the swords and I like this queen).
Perhaps you need to become a bit like this queen who is creative, charismatic, looks after her well-being, she is a leader but she also knows how to enjoy life. She wears stylish clothes, she can challenge men in the business world, but she is feminine; men like her, men look up to her and want to be around her. She is energetic but not bossy, she has a style in the way she controls her life but with charisma and sensuality. Some of these qualities might come in handy for you perhaps?

What do you need to understand about your partner’s needs?
Ten of Wands.
(Wands again: element of Fire)
I feel by looking at this card that your partner has been bearing burdens all on his own. He is a hard worker but he feels the world is against him and goes on doing his duties without complaint. He will work hard for the cause, but I have to say he cannot do it all on his own my dear friend. He needs a helping hand. He has the energy and the determination to work for it, but this cannot be achieved as a one-man show. Be the Queen as described above.

How can you go finding a resolution that will meet both your needs?
Two of Cups.
(First time we get the Cups (water sign, emotions and love) and how appropriate for it to appear at the end).
This is the Friendship card, the card of partnership, the coming together of two people in harmony – a pledge to share a common goal and eventually grow into that partnership together. The message of this card, my dear friend, is a positive one and let me describe what the card looks like, for I personally like this card.
A male and a female, each holding a cup and offering their cup to each other, while their hands touching at the same time. Their coming together is being blessed by an angel right above them. Be friends, make that pledge to support each other, and above all, talk about this situation and join hands to make it work for both of you.

Happiness is there for you. It needs some work and understanding.

Be blessed and be happy.
I hope this reading gave you some of the answers that you were looking for.

Blessings to you both.
Cedars

Hello cedars,

Thank u so much for your reading. It has definitely given me an insight into my own self and the reason for weakness in my relation. The words, selfish, stubbon etc  mentioned by you are the words I always use when I fight with my guy, because that’s how I think abt him when he refuses to understand/appreciate my problems. Its true that Im the dominating partner in our relation and he is always willing for a reconciliation after a fight. I now understand where I am going wrong and do my best to make this relation work.

Thanks agan.
Jyoti

I'm glad to hear it Pjyoti,
Be happy and work on it.
Lots of blessings to you..
Cedars