Hey there,

I dont seem to have control on anything anymore.  I am really depressed, frustrated and desperate to know whats in store for us- does the relationship has any future?

Sun: date of birth- 05 October 1980
Sebastian: Dob- 17 April 1981

Thanks in advance.
Warm Regards,
Sun

Hi Sun, I have decided to do your reading for you " does the relationship has any future?"  using a spread of my own design called Relationship Resolution Spread. If you can please give some feed back Sun

The layout looks like this:

...........1......2..........
3.....4................5....6
...............7...............

The Deck I am using is the Victorian Romantic

Position definitions are:

1. Your Position within the relationship
2. Your partner's position within the relationship

3. What is working for you in this relationship
4. What is working against you in this relationship

5. What do you need to change
6. What do you need to understand about your partner's needs

7 How can you go about finding a resolution that will meet both your needs.

1. Your Position within the relationship - The Chariot
I think this card is suggesting to me that you have been in a position where you have aimed towards making this work with determination and courage. You seem to have set you sights on a goal and all your attention has been place towards that end, that perhaps you are forgetting to have a little fun on the way.

2. Your Partner's postion within the relationship - Ten of Pentacles
He seems to be very comfortable within the relationship but perhaps he  has not explored past the material aspect of this relationship yet to find the magical experience that could exist. This card is telling me that he seems to be ok within it, and that leads me to ask the question is it you who is dissatisfied?

3. What is working for you in this relationship - Six of Wands
This card seems to suggest that it has been a good one for you and that what you have put into it has resulted in success but it is a card that also suggests that success is fleeting and that in order to stay on top you need to work at it. Perhaps you are now feeling neglected in some way and are beginning to doubt yourself here?  I feel you shouldn't as this card does suggest that if you are prepared to keep working at it, it will be a joyful experience.

4. What is working against you in this relationship - Four of Pentacles

Are you afraid of losing something  here? What are you holding on to that  is really not serving you well anymore.  This card is usually assoicated with the material things in life, and I wonder if the desire for security is actually stopping you from branching out and being daring, and so you do what you deem is necessary rather than what you would really like to do.
Sometimes focusing on stability and security can stifle you and this works against you,  this card does suggest to me  to try to take some fresh initiatives and make life more interesting for yourself.

5. What do you need to change - Seven of Pentacles
I think you need to assess your situation calmly and not allow your anxieties to intrude. If you remain calm and in control you will not miss the oppotunities that exist here to improve the situation for you. So in order to move forward here you need to look at what has gone before in a calm way and not allowing what has already been achieved in this relationship to stagnate, instead build upon them to form you a good foundation.

6. What do you need to understand about your partner's needs - Two Pentacles
If you don't know this deck let me describe this card for you, a little girl is performing with a dog who stands on a drum on its hind legs, she holds her dress out, points her toe and holds a wand above the dog's head. A man in another costume sits to the side and watches the performance, almost as though he is judging it.

Perhaps your partner is trying to juggle what he does, in order to get the right approval. Maybe  there are two choices here for him to do well or not to do well. Perhaps he is not sure what the right action is for him to take. Is he a person who likes to have many things going on at once in his life, and perhaps needs the stimulation and the challenge of doing this? Maybe he is trying to be flexible in order to achieve success and perhaps you need to understand this and become flexible to.

7. How can I go about finding a resolution that will meet both our needs - Page of Cups

I think this card suggest that you need to get control over your emotions so that you can actually see what is reality here and what is illusion. I think also it suggest that you need to bring a little creativity into the relationship and not act in haste, but allow your sensitivity to shine through in order to bring out the best in both of you.

Bella

Thank you Bella for the reading.

I'd like to give soem feedback if I may..

1. Your Position within the relationship - The Chariot
2. Your Partner's postion within the relationship - Ten of Pentacles

the above is fairly true. we both were in harmony and comfortable with the relationship. However, I was not dissatisfied as you suggested-maybe I was desperate to move on to the next level ie. marriage but never unhappy in the relationship.

3. What is working for you in this relationship - Six of Wands
4. What is working against you in this relationship - Four of Pentacles

yes, the relationship was good and a happy one. what is working against me is not really my desire for security but the insecurity of losing my boyfriend.

5. What do you need to change - Seven of Pentacles

Thats true- i am anxious and worried and in a haste. I am trying to slow down.

6. What do you need to understand about your partner's needs - Two Pentacles

My partner is just sitting and watching the whole thing. He is not applying his brain but is acting as told by his parents and thats very frustrating. But maybe he is doing what anyone would do if they were being emotionally blackmailed by parents. But this is a very weak stand on his part. I dont know how to get through the imaginary boundary he has created between both of us.

7. How can I go about finding a resolution that will meet both our needs - Page of Cups

I will try to calm down and think it over cooly..

Thanks again Bella

Thank you sun for the feed back, when we look at position 6 and what I say and what you say, it does become clearer,

You say "My partner is just sitting and watching the whole thing. He is not applying his brain but is acting as told by his parents and thats very frustrating. But maybe he is doing what anyone would do if they were being emotionally blackmailed by parents."


and part of what I said does seem to fit this, that I said "Maybe  there are two choices here for him to do well or not to do well. Perhaps he is not sure what the right action is for him to take."  When looking at that particular card as I described it for you it become difficult to quite see what you partner's need were, in that was he seeking approval, or just trying to do his best in his own way?

You also say "I dont know how to get through the imaginary boundary he has created between both of us."

Your last card was the Page of Cups and this Page is all about imagination, creativity and sensitivity, so perhaps part of his message to you is to be creative in your approach but remain sensitive to the situation at the same time. But he is also a card that tells you to recognise what is reality and what is fantasy.

Anyway Sun I hope this reading has been of some help to you.

Bella