Greetings, all.

Been enjoying the poetry section during my time here, but have read a few threads throughout the site.  

I received a tarot reading four years ago which started the process of self inquiry.  Three weeks later I had a full blown release from the past, dissolution of future, and the birth of my whole self.  This union allowed me to dissolve and rebuild myself, to remake myself in the image of order.  Since then I have practiced deep meditation and yoga every day, and do not shy away from a blockage, challenge, knot, or fear.  

There's no expectations for a reading, while simultaneously being aware of the power of intuition.  I'm not under pressure, and no one here should be worried about getting to it if it is a busy time.

If anyone feels any impulse to read for me, I would be grateful.

Thanks, much.
Alexander

Hi, here is my information.

Zackery Alexander Nemeth (Alexander Crane is my pen name)
041780
Born in Salisbury, NC

I try every day to meet the world half way, so what ever information that comes to me I am open and tuned to.  I speak the poetic language of the soul, symbolism, and have trust in intuition as well as my own judgment.  My ultimate goal is to realize my fullest potential, so that I may continue to love myself more and those around me.  I absolutely love art, and hope to study my crafts and speak my soul through them.

There is a great deal of time spent around family, nieces and nephews.  When I am not doing yoga, I am taking part in my family.  I get two nieces and nephews off the bus, and watch them almost 7 days a week.  I cook them vegetarian foods, instruct them through yoga sequences, help them with their home work.  The other niece and nephew on my brothers side, I have been practicing soccer with so they can do well on their Saturday game.  My 5 year old nephew said, "Zack, I like soccer and I want to get good, will you help me practice?"  This is actually the attitude I take and try to promote in other people.  Study food, study exorcise, study your favorite subjects, study your feelings, study anything and establish it.  So how could I refuse such honest intention?

I'm pretty lonely, but my energies are balanced.  I try not to seek too much outside myself, and welcome what comes to me in life.  I'm fine without a mate, as I feel like I am preparing for my life ahead.  I'm not looking towards the future, but embracing the now.  I leave it to life to bring together with the right girl.  I work on myself in the spirit of love, not trying to fit in.  It feels to me like I will attract the right girl by the things I study and practice.  I have patience.  Did I mention I was a tiny bit lonely.        

I would also like to learn how to make more friendships.  Friends at the level of the soul is ideal, but hard to find.  I'm trying to go out to hiking groups, meet ups, or classes.  But I could really use a friend, someone who is awake and on a similar path.  I'm afraid that my lack of practice in socializing is stifling me.  I can communicate, but have trouble forging relationships for that to take place.

Being so sick as a child, from my environment, I developed an inferiority complex.  A false self, and my body molded around this false self.  Yoga has set me on the path to purification and healing, but this is taking time.  I could still use a lot of help in getting past old conditioning/hang ups.  

Anyway, that is probably way more information than I should have given, but lets see if anything happens.

Thanks
Zackery Alexander Nemeth

Hi Zackery

You have an eloquent way of describing your situation. I hope my reading for you will be as eloquent as your writing.
I picked five cards for you in the following order and criteria:

YOU: 9 of Swords: Waking up in the middle of the night from a nightmare or a thought process and trying to find the answers.  The picture shows someone woken up in bed and covering their face with the hands, almost like mourning that state of mind.  From your description of your current life, although we gathered one side of it fulfilling and happy, there is another side which is unsettling. That sense I got from your feeling of loneliness and wishing to find a friend or a soul mate could be the one causing you unrest.

POSITIVE INFLUENCES: 9 of Cups: This is the cup of possession of all happiness that there is. The picture portrays the inn keeper sitting happily, his arms folded on his chest, and the nine cups behind him in a row. He is satisfied; he is happy; he has it all. This thought process and your current state of affairs with your family and your nieces and nephews is positive and do not give it up. It is there to add all that is positive to your life now.

NEGATIVE INFLUENCES: 10 of Cups: It is the completion of the above card. The Ultimate have-it-all in terms of love, family, children and a happy home.  Not a negative card at all, but what this card represents in all that it is which you are dreaming to have, could be the negative that you see - the not having it. Dont be too carried away with this card, as it is showing what is a negative influence - the wishes and the desires that you have - could feel 'negative' to you at this time. The not having is a negative feeling, but not the card.

MESSAGE FROM THE TAROT: 10 of Pentacles: Again, here too we see a family unit who have everything, out in town with their kids and dogs enjoying their happy state both financially and emotionally. It is a happy card where once again children are in the background, parents around their kids, a grandfather figure in the forefront tending to the dogs and the kids running around in the market. From your description I see you are in a similar state - ableit the lack of friends and soul mate  around you - but the message is one of a blessing that you have been given and enjoy that; it may be all in the making for you, coming your way.

OUTCOME: 10 of Wands: I see a man here gathering ten wands (his hard work) and heading home to re-group and enjoy the fruits of his hard work. It looks burdensome; it looks like a heavy load; but it is your work and your harvest. It is only with your efforts and hard work that you will attain success, even though weight of the work at hand seems and feels unbearable at times. It will pay up in the end.

I hope this shed some light in your query.

Please let me have your feedback, if you dont mind.

Blessings.
cedars

It is an interesting reading, I was looking up the cards online and there seemed to be three actions of each card.  Some fit very well, and some that didn't seemed to fit well when I applied more context from my life situation.  

Because I am still new to this, having had only one reading before, how should I engage the tarot?  When it comes to the cards, should I say how they were accurate or relevant?  There are definitely things in my life that resonate with the qualities of the cards.

And how should I use the information, are the cards giving an indication to the immediate path of my choices?  Can I choose a new path, or is the deck reading more broadly?  Let me know if I can be more helpful in engaging the tarot.

The Nine of Swords and Ten of Wands appear to be related.  The issue the cards seem to be telling me is something that has bothered me for a long time.  My choices strongly impact those around me for better or worse.  There is a lot of frustration, a lot of time spent contemplating the big picture, trying to see where I fall into it so I understand the choice.  

This strength is reflected in the Ten of Pentacles, I have a strong will to overcome challenges, injuries, or whatever else comes across on my path of healing.  There is a conflict in me, in reference to a powerful need to heal and strengthen myself, but also contribute to my family.  Also, sometimes you don't know if helping is the right choice.  Especially if the people you help aren't in touch with themselves, aren't actually helping themselves.  It is very draining to ponder over this.

Thanks for your feedback.

I, like you, always think or want to believe that the cards have all the answers for me, chewed and digested for my path ahead. Even if that was the case, assuming the cards told you to jump from a 10-storey building to solve a certain issue, would you? No.

I have been practising and learning the tarot for about nine months now, and as I go along I find I can interpret the cards more with my insight/intuition than what the description of the cards says in a certain book. Granted, I am always looking - when I am stuck - for the meaning of the card to add substance to the reading. I didnt do that with your reading. At first I looked at them and thought: hmmmmm... what messages are there here for Zackery. And then, the thougths came to me. I got stuck for a while because I was trying to adhere to the outlined meaning of each card.

I would advise that you didnt do that with your life either. There are no tunnels marked, Green, Red or Yellow that if you walked through one you would get to your destination unscathed. No one can tell you what to do except YOU yourself - not even the tarot. If you want to bring a change in a certain corner of your life, that is your initial instintc to start acting about it. The path will show you where you might be heading and while on that path you may feel intuitively that you need to make certain alterations/adjustments.

Dont think too much; just live life with your feelings, with your head, with your instincts...

Smile>>>>>>>

Cedars