Hi Jas,
I read your post and picked up my cards straight away,
They tell me that you are in turmoil, that you are facing dark and light and turn between the two, unsure which you prefer, you appear alone, with no support, but you also prefer to be alone and depend on no-one else, you know what you want, but its buried so deep inside that you wonder if you can ever truly feel happy and reach deep enough to pull out your goal. You have flashes of blinding inspiration that show you the way but then darkenss creeps back in like a light being extinguished. Near by is a very strong female force that can help you kill your tormentors and work through your pain, you have the tools and the energy inside but you need that final piece of help , just a small stretch away, sometimes you feel like you ar drowning and wasting away and others you feel like you are walking on water, strong and content, but it doesn't last. You have to remember that you are young, you have the whole world before you and any mistakes you may have made or think that you have can be rectified and sorted out, you can change things and you can swop sides and decide which you prefer, there is a river, one side is blood and the other tears, you have to decide which to take, one is easy and one is hard, and hard work will lead you to your goal, you have to break many habits and lose some energy which will leave you low and feeling frail but when the tears have dried you will have a multitude of routes and paths ahead of you, all of which will take you to a glorious happy, bright future

Don't give up, please don't give up {{{{{{{{{{{{{huggssss}}}}}}}}}}