I had a reading today and in my past life I was very spiritual, just like I am now but even more so. I was actually able to connect better back then whereas now I have a lot of difficulty, but I've been told I can do it if I meditate and work hard at spiritual growth. From the moment of birth I was spiritual but unfortunately I had a difficult childhood and teen years, which I brought into my adult life. I was supposed to meet someone who was supposed to help me get out of my depression eventually but I was weak and couldn't hang on. If I would have waited longer I would have been fine but I drowned myself.

This is interesting, I read some where that when you commit suicide that is it considered wrong and you'll likely end up back in the same situation you were in when you come back, to finish learning that life's lesson. Well, it amazed me because here I am back in the situation only it's a lot worse. I had a very difficult childhood, my teen years were even worse and right now at the age of 20 (almost 21) I am really depressed, extremely lonely with only a few friends who I don't even get to talk to that much. I have major regrets with what I've done in the past (not my past life, this life) and wish I could fix them but I have no idea how. A lot of people hate me and others don't want to get to know me because I'm not that good looking, (in my past life it was the same, except I wasn't lonely) so they judge me before they get to know me. At the moment I am at rock bottom and was considering suicide until I got that reading today. Now I know all I'll do is put myself back in the situation again.
In a reading I did for myself at the beginning of the year, I think the end of January I was told a young man was going to come into my life to help me out very soon but I was to go through obstacles and depression first, which weirdly enough was the same for my past life only I didn't wait long enough for the person to come help me. I'm not sure if I was female or male but something tells me I was female then too, I just have this feeling I definitely was female before but male before that. I don't know if I'm right though and something tells me I died in a fire in that life, so I'll have to look more into that life to see if it's true because I always dream about it.

In this life I am terrified of water, I can't even swim and I almost want to start crying when I burn myself, even if it's just a little burn. When I was a little kid I couldn't put my face under water in the tub I was too scared. My mom had to wash my hair in the sink for me until the age of six. Right now if I go to the beach and I get caught in a wave I panic and I can't calm down.

Hopefully I can do things right in this life then, and hang on.

I am so sorry you have had to go through those experiences twide, but it has opened your eyes and made you a much stronger young lady.  You are one the right track, hope is what we all need to get through each day.  You hang in there and look for the blessings, they are all around you.  

MangoMom wishes for
Love, Light and Laughter

Thanks. I had the reading done at this New Age shop that just opened in my town. She told me that suffering now will only help me be a stronger person if I don't give in to depression and just hold my head up. She also said she can see something good happening shortly after my twenty-first birthday that's supposed to change my life for good, but that I have to help it happen and not just wait for it to happen or else I will miss it. I also shouldn't worry about the fact that I'm going to be 21 and never had a boyfriend because the wait will be worth it and it will also be happening sometime in the next year, but again I can't sit back and wait for him to come into my life, I have to go out and try to meet him. If I don't it could be a long while before he'll turn up again.