This love this thread and also wonder about the person who began it.
I have no insight at all as to past lives.  I draw a total blank.  Recently, someone said to me they saw/felt that I haven't any - so, I throw my hands up...

In this life, there was a time when I wanted out.  On new year's eve, 1999/2000, I told no one and drove to the beach near where I grew up and parked and took a lot of a lot of things.  More than enough by far.  And it should've ended there by rights, yet three days later I woke up in my car, crying because that was another thing I hadn't done right.  
I won't say that I'm sorted out these days.  I'm not.  But I'm grateful for having woken up, and for so many other things, every day.  So far, every new year since, I have wound up either working for the lack of anything else to do or sitting somewhere, dejectedly, in my own company.  Where ever I am, though,  I spare a thought for the me in the car at the beach and take some time to simply sit and let gratitude fill me up.  It has a kind of mysterious quality for me because, back then, nothing would've convinced me that, years later, I'd be glad to be alive.

If ever I hear someone say they wish they were dead, I make a point of saying, "Wait one more day", and tell them what happened to me and how I was just not able to see that I would feel differently down the track.
Wait one more day.
Always wait one more day.

I've committed suicide in numerous lives and even more if you count living a self destructive lifestyle as slow suicide, I'd even call it a tendency. In my current life I've been depressed frequently and often comtemplated suicide but I never really act on my feelings. Sometimes I think maybe I really am just inert. In my fiction there is a strong overabundance of suicides and themes of self destruction.

I don't have any information in regards my past lives, I have no idea how they were. In this one, in my teens, I have had suicidal feelings, but I have never attempted, it just comes as thoughts and will but never as action. All comes with a feeling "I am worthless, no one loves me", but it's wrong and deep inside I know it.

I hope everyone finds peace with themselves and know that tomorrow will always be a better day.


I hope all is good with the poster and with Yelena.


Regards,

Sunia