sri , male , 28 april 1985 , from india , completed my MBBS degree ( doctor) , and currently preparing for PostGraduation entrance .

i understand and appreciate the help and time u r about to give me .

i like this girl very much , whom i know since 5 months or so .. will we end up together and live happily ever after ?

if not , if she is not the one ( if that can be said with certainty , by astrology or pyschic or tarot ) , i will TRY to not to get more close to her and get to the next level

i am not sure if i can post the past events or not , so i will just post the link in the 2nd post

but in brief ..

main current problem of mine

My heart wants to love and be loved  ... yes i acknowledge that my mom , dad , elder brother and 2 very close friends are there who show unconditional love on me ... but still my heart yearns for a special person ( in the form a life partner )

Now , i like this girl "Mo" very much , since the last 4,5 months .. and she is showing signs of liking me too ...

so usually , i wud have acted uninhibitedly , and wud have committed to her after some time , when i am certain that i absolutely love her and if she loves me too

but problem is i am hesitating to move uninhibitedly , bcos of the fear " what if , my relationship with this girl also end up like the previous girl "

so i started thinking for some reasons y my previous girl had to leave me , despite the fact that we both loved each other very much , and even her mom accepted initially ,,, but we didnt end up with each other ( which is how we dreamt our lives when we were in love )

I almost know for a fact that mine or her egos or immaturity or something on our part is not the reason for our separation . And i recalled later that her mom has asked me once abt my birth time ,, then i realized that may be they have asked some astrologer to look up my horo

so i just got curious abt my jathaka/horoscope and wanted to know abt it .. and i came to know that the kuja dosha i have is considered to be a bad thing abt marriage , so may be thats y her mom denied


So i thought may be then lets not think abt love and all , lets concentrate on pg entrance ...  Even after few sincere attempts i cud not read well as my heart is yearning and preferring to have someone special for it .

And then , happened to get acquainted to this girl " Mo " since the last 5 months or so .. i like her very very much for her heart and her energy/cheerful attitude

but i am worried if our match is compatiable ( as i am starting to believe recently that , horoscope incompatible relationships wont survive long  ) ...




Actually

• My concept of love or marriage has always been this .. “ if it shud happen ,it suhd happen by itself - spontaneously , not planned or arranged and if it shud happen , it shud  happen for pure abstract reasons “ .. So till now I always used to consider committing to such girl , whom I meet incidentally and to whom my heart dies for .  
• I dont exactly know y  , but I usually dont      get impressed with or like/love      most of the girls I met ( almost none ). Infact ( not simultaneously ofcourse , but when previous relationship ended/got over ) till now (of some , say 50 or odd girls I met spontaneously , be at college or at hospitals or elsewhere )  I only liked 2 girls in a special way and now this new girl "Mo"
• since i like very very few girls in general , I always had this feeling that , if i loose this girl now , there is a  chance of not meeting another girl again ever , who is to my heart's liking . And besides , unless there is some problem ( like for eg. if our horoscopes dont match to the highest degree  etc ) why shud i not proceed with her uninhibitedly and see where time takes us , ( if i love her and if she loves me too , we get married ) what harm will it cause .... this is how i feel to myself . i feel that even if i get my pg seat by saving time by not getting involved with her and using that time to study .. i personally will regret it later ,, bcos, though i want both equally , but if i have to chose --  to me people and love ( when it happens by itself  ) are first priority than study/career/money . ( this opinion of mine is more strengthened now bcos of the security that , even without PG and with just my mbbs degree , i can make a decent living )

Y shud i lose her to study , y not both ... even though there can be some delay in the result with this method .... i can accept that delay .

here is my past life events ..

Hello Sri,

I wish to heartily congratulate you on having recently (?) completed your MBBS degree in order to qualify to become a doctor, and wish you well with your post graduate entrance application.

The habits of thinking and doing which have been your greatest assets up until now in completing your medical degree, are now working strongly against you ever having a long term relationship with a woman which would be anything more than a marriage in name.

I understand and am acutely sensitive to how important it is for you to do everything by the book, and to feel that you are in complete control of the situation between yourself and Mo, when there are no magic recipes or guarantees given that such a relationship would survive the next six months. But on the other side of the fence there is also no evidence contained within your reading that such a relationship could not survive the next six months.

You are attempting to apply the same logical principles to any future relationship you might enjoy with Mo, as if you were instead dealing with a chemical equation or mathematical problem. Your idea appears to be that as long as you do everything right or correct, that Mo must co-operate with your plans for you both as a couple. Of course what is right or correct is completely a matter of your own personal viewpoint. What may be right for you may turn out to be wrong for Mo, and the other way around could also be true.

You are looking for 100% guarantees about what might or might not happen between you both in the future, where no guarantees of anything have ever existed in the past, and where no guarantees of anything exist in the future.  I recognise by your rejection of the concept of an arranged marriage as being anything even mildly approaching ideal that you feel trapped by your culture and religions beliefs by a set of factors which are not entirely under your control, but are you asking me to do something psychically so that arranged marriages are a thing of the past in your country?

If I asked you whether you would prefer to marry because you loved this woman, or whether you instead wanted an arranged marriage with her in its place I am reasonably confident that you would not choose the arranged marriage (unless I have seriously misread your attitudes towards arranged marriages in general through this reading).

But if I now asked you whether you would prefer an arranged marriage with Mo to losing her permanently and living the rest of your life as a single man, what would be your choice then? If we temporarily accept that your marriage must either be arranged or not happen at all (the option to marry her purely out of your love for her with no pre-arrangements, I am sure that you would soon change your tune and opt for an arranged marriage over nothing.

My policy is not to automatically and as a first line of attack look back at what your common or shared past life experiences might have been, or what lessons you each may have failed to learn during earlier incarnations, which are now negatively affecting this one. I feel that you do not need to look back any further than when you came into the world this time around for the source of most of your unhappiness and loneliness.

Look instead towards what has happened since you were born as Sri for the root of your problems. Worrying yourself about what happened or did not happen in past lives, is only likely to distract you from making the best of the life you have now.

It is always much easier for me to tell you this than for you to do it, but you badly and urgently need to look at your personal situation taking into account the restrictions of your culture and religion, more with your heart and feelings and correspondingly less with logic, reason and your highly analytical and almost mechanical doctor's mind, or way of looking at things.

No psychic reading or reader either can or should ever be allowed to bypass or ignore your God given right of your own free will to live your life as you best see fit to do so. I just hope that you never have to make the painful choice between having Mo in your life as your partner, or continuing to have the love and support of your parents (if either of them are still alive).

So what this reading is saying to me is that if you never enter into any deeper sort of relationship with Mo (arranged or not), the questions which you are asking us to answer are purely hypothetical and largely irrelevant to helping you where you are now in the present moment. If you never have any deeper relationship with her, what plan the Universe had for your combined lives as a couple will never manifest or be made physical.

Finally please do not be unintentionally offended by the following, and see it as being negative criticism either of yourself, your culture and your religion. If you see what follows this way then I would be most upset to realise that you would ever think that I could do such an unkind or cruel  thing to one of my close internet friends.

You my friend are what readers often call their worst nightmare. What this means is that you appear to be willing to run your whole love life and make any important decisions along the way only according to what a psychic reader tells you, or whether an astrologer or numerologist calculates that you and Mo are compatible.

Now I regard myself as a fairly good judge of a person's character, and I am hereby assessing both your quality and depth of character as well as your inborn intelligence to be extremely high. I have all the evidence I will ever need that you would not be unwise enough to base all important decisions purely on the outcome of a reading, but on the other hand when you make the following type of comment it really does concern me that sometimes you may be unknowingly your own worst enemy.

The first part of your request which I am specifically referring to above was...



Please, please, please DO NOT START TO BELIEVE THAT WHETHER YOU ARE COMPATIBLE OR NOT COMPATIBLE WITH MO MEANS ANYTHING ABOUT THE CHANCES OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP BEING A SUCCESS IN THE REAL WORLD.

The second part of your request which made me particularly anxious that you have a strong over dependency on the outcome of readings as a guaranteed method of finding guidance in your love life was....



With due respect to the beliefs and teachings of your culture, the reading indicates that her mother's rejection of you as a potential husband or partner for Mo is entirely because she is unwilling to let her daughter go. She fears losing her daughter, and her control over her if you should marry and move way at a distance from their family home. It has nothing at all to do with your horoscope or kuja dosha, but has a lot more to do with the mother's insecurity and fear of losing any influence over her "baby". If it had been anyone else other than you who was after her daughter, she would have had exactly the same attitude towards any man who dared to challenge her authority as Mo's parent. But you have taken this personally to heart as meaning that there is something terribly wrong with you, and are now using readings to punish yourself for being less than a man, when it is obviously due to her emotional hangups.

Finally in closing your reading there is some friendly advice to accompany these intuitive insights. If your previous relationship failed, and you make the fatal error of carrying the negative emotional baggage from it into any future relationship you might have with other women, then you will unwittingly be setting yourself up for all your relationships to eventually fail. Do not ever jump from one failed relationship too fast into the next one, and before you do jump at least start working towards reducing your load of negative emotional baggage. If however we all waited indefinitely until we were completely clear of all negative emotional baggage accumulated over the many years from any or all of our past failed relationships, we would never give ourselves an above average chance of ever enjoying a loving and fulfilling relationship with a woman again during this current lifetime.

Sorry that I cannot provide you with a more detailed roadmap or blueprint for any possible future love life which you might enjoy with Mo or someone else, but that was never the primary intended purpose of my readings. My readings are more focussed upon helping you to more effectively help yourself, and not to make myself out to be a fortune teller or magic oracle, or psychic know it all.

Namaste,

EoT  

hi  EOT

First of , thank u very very much for ur heart and time

ok , starting to respond paragraph by paragraph , where needed



yes ofcourse , i know and do acknowledge that




2 doubts -- ok i think i sounded , 100% ,, but what i was looking for is a reasonable percentage of guarantee that we will end up together and have a loving marriage ( apart from , some rough phases that are bound to happen in life ,, with a oath that i will be as mature as possible and handle well such situations )

before some 7 months , i wud not have gone for all these calculations , i just used to go by my heart ... but bcos of the following facts i got apprehended and thinking this way

a)  despite the love from both ends with my previous girl ( deepu ), we didnt get together

and

b) now since i am 26 , i am more insecure, what if this new girl ( Mo) also wont be mine , after some 2 or 3 yrs of love like the previous one . i wud become 28 , and when , in the love of god , will my heart stops getting hurt and when will it get its soulmate


Even though i felt that there must be some reason , as of y we didnt got together despite our love on each other ... ideally , i shud not have taken these shortcuts or easy path of astrology reading of our relationship ... its just like giving up ( our beliefs and principles) , when u failed once ,, i shud learn any of the shortcomings i had in the previous relationship and learn from that , and make this work as far as i can and make my heart happy ,,

but bcos of my age factor ,, i chose to hear what astro has to say .. just to see if it says that we r compatiable ( in other words i am waiting for astro to say me that we r compatiable , and if small incompatiability - astro tells me in what areas shud we be careful  , so that i wud be extra careful in those areas ) ... but i may very well follow my heart as it is , even if astro says me and Mo are absolutely incompatiable  ( not that astrology is not correct or something like that )  ,,, but that, i will still face the odds ( for my principles , for my heart and for my instincts ) even if astro has been right abt our incompatibility .. ( note : one part of my heart is that , i will handle situations maturely as maximum as i can , if there have to be occasional or frequent crisis phases .. no complaints , no demands ... always be pure and correct from my side and dont expect it from her .. make her happy , surprise , make her feel that she chose the right one and never regret her decision abt me )




yes u r right ... but Actually i am not against arranged  marriages , i do acknowledge that , as long as we be pure , true and loving from our side without expecting anything from others ( which is the principle i follow ) ,,, then in most probability , others will definitely reciprocate in the same way , be it after 1 week , 1 year , 1decade or atleast before i die .. ( interestingly , i posted these similar lines yday in one of the threads intending to help someone on this forum ,, here is the link

but what i feel is why to ignore the more unconditional love that happened by itself and go for some what conditioned love of arranged marriage ( as far as i can push it )

what do u think abt my opinion on this

Quote:

more with your heart and feelings and correspondingly less with logic, reason and your highly analytical and almost mechanical doctor's mind, or way of looking at things.

how come u thought me i am mechanical , if i am one thing - i follow my heart and instincts .. ( but i also take logic/reason/calculation into consideration ) ... but i eventually go by my heart

or are u saying i shud not be going by my heart

am i missing something

Quote:

My policy is not to automatically and as a first line of attack look back at what your common or shared past life experiences might have been, or what lessons you each may have failed to learn during earlier incarnations, which are now negatively affecting this one. I feel that you do not need to look back any further than when you came into the world this time around for the source of most of your unhappiness and loneliness.

oops .. every thing appears greek and latin ,

Quote:

Please, please, please DO NOT START TO BELIEVE THAT WHETHER YOU ARE COMPATIBLE OR NOT COMPATIBLE WITH MO MEANS ANYTHING ABOUT THE CHANCES OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP BEING A SUCCESS IN THE REAL WORLD.

expressed my view on this , clearly ,this time , in the starting of this post

Quote:

but on the other hand when you make the following type of comment it really does concern me that sometimes you may be unknowingly your own worst enemy.

ya , i beg ur pardon for not stating clearly , that i willnot go by reading - astro or other  ,, but i am just taking its aide , by its approoval ( if it does ) or learn at what areas i have to be extra careful ( if it says we are somewhat incompatible ) or go by my heart ( even if it says , that we are absolutely incompatible )

Quote:

the reading indicates that her mother's rejection of you as a potential husband or partner for Mo is entirely because she is unwilling to let her daughter go

oh no , the previous girl is deepu , now the one i like is Mo ... damn i am sorry for the messy presentation of my events

if necessary , pls go through my past events one more time pls

Quote:

Do not ever jump from one failed relationship too fast into the next one, and before you do jump at least start working towards reducing your load of negative emotional baggage

i guess ( i mean guess ) i done that sufficiently , even before i first met Mo

Quote:

Sorry that I cannot provide you with a more detailed roadmap or blueprint for any possible future love life which you might enjoy with Mo or someone else, but that was never the primary intended purpose of my readings. My readings are more focussed upon helping you to more effectively help yourself, and not to make myself out to be a fortune teller or magic oracle, or psychic know it all.

i know

Quote:

EoT

wow    , this is my fav smilie , i used to use this smilie quite frequently in some of our educational forums[/img]

waiting for ur reply

Sri,

You are very welcome for the reading, and the intuition and time which I used to give it on your behalf. In order to make my response more effective and hopefully easier to comprehend, I will use the same quote - answer format used to such great effect by yourself.



And your reading strongly confirms that what you already felt that you knew, was indeed correct.



What is a "reasonable percentage" of guarantee to you? How much above the 50% probability which would be expected by random chance alone guarantee would you require to feel that there was any future in your relationship with Mo? Does the mere fact that you are wanting to place any figure on your chances of having a successful relationship with the woman whom you clearly have deep feelings for come out of your sense of previous methods having failed miserably? What renewed sense of comfort does laying a bet upon the survival of this relationship offer you when making your decision with reference to whether the relationship is a viable one? If the reading gave your chance of making the relationship work as being 60% (this is purely hypothetical), would that be enough difference to make you put in the extra energy and effort which would undoubtedly be required to save the relationship? Where then is the critical cut of point where the relationship instantly becomes practical, when it was not below that level? You are I feel through this reading attempting to apply the scientific method to your love life, in a desperate effort to minimise the risk that the history of your previous relationship with deepu might repeat itself with Mo.



So you are virtually admitting that some seven months before now you would not have bothered asking for these calculations to be done or a probability percentage to be given? But your failed relationship with deepu has left you severely traumatised and very low in self confidence at the ripe young age of 26, and although I can understand that you believe you have good reason to feel anxious that your life is going to continue indefinitely to be a series of failed relationships with women (there is nothing in your reading which even mildly suggests that this will be true, although the reading only covers approximately the next six months), resorting to guessing, betting, fortune telling, astrology, psychic readings EVEN WHEN USED IN COMBINATION WITH INFORMATION GAINED FROM OTHER NON PSYCHIC SOURCES, is not likely to get you any closer to the comfort and solace which you are seeking here. In reality I feel that this relatively recent obsession with numbers is taking you in the opposite direction from where you want to go.



This is where you start beating up on yourself for doing what seemed at the time to be one of your only remaining options. I disagree in principle (I will have to agree to disagree with you) that asking for an astrology chart to be done to help you gain a better understanding of why the relationship failed, with the assumption behind it that it's failure was completely your responsibility. From the sound of what you tell us about deepu's over controlling mother, the writing was already on the wall that things would get terribly bumpy as soon as she (deepu's mum) felt that you were a threat to her authority over her daughter. Will you be saying the same thing about this psychic reading in the future. That it was a sign of your weakness and failure? I certainly hope not. You are making it is the fatal error of believing that if you just try long and hard enough, all the reasons for the failure of your relationship with deepu will be revealed in full at some undefined point in time. You may never know half the factors which were ultimately responsible for its failure (the relationship failed: NOT YOU), let alone any thing approaching 90 - 100%. Getying any reading is NOT a shortcut. If you are going to use it properly as it was designed to in your daily life, it is back and heart breaking hard work.



As long as the arranged marriage is not your own. You stated in your original request and I quote....



Arranged marriages do not happen by themselves - they are prearranged often either before or immediately after the two children are born, by their respective families. They are not spontaneous and based upon the love of two people for each other and wanting to spend their lives together. Although love can develop from an arranged marriage over time under the right conditions. Arranged marriages do not happen by themselves, they are not spontaneous, but are planned and arranged by the two families concerned. If you are against these things, you are also against the principle of arranged marriages.



There is nobody on Earth I know of who loves unconditionally, whether or not they are in an arranged relationship and/or marriage. Unconditional love only comes from God. We are all trying our best to approach the spiritual ideal of loving someone without restrictions or conditions being placed upon our affection for them, but we still all have a long way to go to get there. But in saying this I would always choose a natural love based over an arranged marriage any day, although there is not the same pressure in my Australian western culture for marriages to be arranged, or a demand for them. By loving another person conditionally, we come progressively closer to loving them unconditionally, but never quite make it. Through our conditional love for them we come to recognise a faint and distant image of what the unconditional love of God would be like.



Whoa. Hold your horses my friend, and do not be unintentionally offended by the reading's use of the word mechanical. It does not mean cold and purely logical or that you are acting like a mindless machine or robot. I tried to explain before that we were designed to use both logic and intuition in a balanced manner when approaching our problems or making important decisions like who we want to spend the rest of our life with. More than seven months ago you used both logic and intuition but tended to prefer your heart or intuition. But you believed that this was at the root of your failed relationship, so you increased your use of logic and the position of stars and percentage probabilities to compensate for what you saw as taking too much notice of what your heart said. But you went too far in the opposite direction, and became too logical in your approach for your own good, or mechanical. What your reading is saying to me is that you need to once again restore this balance between the dictates of your mind (logic) and your heart (feelings and intuition).

More than 7 months ago the balance looked something like this...


MIND----------------------------YOU---------------HEART

Now in the present it probably looks more like this (too mechanical)

MIND-----------YOU---------------------------------HEART

Finally it should be looking more like this, but will never be fully balanced. If it ever gets to the balance point (unlikely) it will not be there for more than a few minutes, before shifting again in one direction or the other. This is called a DYNAMIC against a STATIC BALANCE. Dynamic balances constantly shift in either direction, according to our constantly changing moods and needs.

MIND------------------------------YOU--------------------------HEART



I am not quite sure how to interpret that comment, other than to say that while I do believe that past life experiences can influence what happens in our current lifetime for the better or worse, it should not be resorted to as our first method of explaining why things are happening to us. We should first look to earlier in this lifetime for the possible source of our present difficulties and emotional hangups.



I am so pleased and relieved to hear this. So is my inner guidance. It felt in its wisdom that this point needed to be brought out in the open so that there was no confusion that you were exclusively using a reading as your only means of gaining extra insight about, and a greater understanding of your situation.



This type of confusion is almost inevitable when a person requesting a reading provides too much past oriented background information. I do not wish to go through your past events one more time, because I feel that there are too many of them (that is the problem), and they cloud the issue and are terribly distracting when attempting to give you an effective intuitive reading. Once again I repeat that you providing too much past oriented background information is likely to be a symptom of you having become too mechanical. Next time I read for you I would like you to do me a favour by only including what minimal background information you feel is required for me to give you the reading.  If there had been no mention of either deepu or her mother or the earlier relationship, I feel that the insights would have been purer than they were when you did. The reading became so contaminated by the huge load of irrelevant information that it tended to lose its way and deepu and Mo (and their mothers) became confused with each other as a result of this information overload. If you had simply said that your previous relationship had failed in your own eyes, that would have been more than enough information to read from.



Your intense focus upon your past relationship when compared to the one you have now with Mo, plus you continually beating up on yourself for being human and therefore by definition fallible tells me otherwise. But I do not want to discuss this any further at this stage in the analysis, as you might use it as another excuse to punish yourself even more. Self responsibility and self blame are not the same thing. They are incompatible with one another.



Coincidence? Synchronicity?  I really cannot say for sure: either way. It could be my background as a retired high school teacher which attracted me to that particular emoticon. We are both in different ways into education?

EoT