Welcome David,
It is completely up to you to decide to leave things exactly as they already are, by my advice for your maximum protection and security would be for you to immediately remove your middle and family name from the above posting (using the edit button). Only your date of birth is needed for this reading to be able to go ahead.
To make mistakes and do things earlier in your life that you are anything but proud of doing only proves that you are as human as the rest of us are and therefore like all human beings far short of being perfect.
To be able to properly determine what your main life purpose is would normally require an Akashic reading to be given to you by my good friend and respected colleague MangoMum (MM).
However I am sure that MM would agree with me that there would be little useful purpose in her opening the Akashic records on your behalf when you are only likely to use the information gained from the reading as yet another reason or excuse to continue to be too hard on yourself, and for you to act as your own self appointed judge, jury and executioner.
Without any doubt you have made your mistakes and unintentionally hurt people whom you love and who love you in the past (so have we all), but all evidence shows me that punishing and beating up on yourself for what your religion may make you believe is a sin is only likely to increase instead of decrease the type of misguided and certainly not evil behaviour which you now find totally unacceptable within yourself.
Before I actually begin to give you this life purpose reading using your date of birth and basic numerology as a general guide to what your main life purpose might be, I wanted to take some time if I may to point out to you that your life purpose is NOT to prematurely judge yourself so unfairly as you are doing, as even the worst of criminals is offered a fair trial and is regarded by the law as being innocent until proven otherwise beyond all reasonable doubt by solid evidence.
Your Creator did not make you to watch you squirm like an insect or for Him to get great pleasure from putting a black mark beside your name in the Book of Life. What you may see and think about yourself from your own limited human viewpoint is often likely to be the complete opposite of what God sees you as from above. We are all God's children and equal and much loved in his eyes. If he loves you unconditionally, what right do you have to disagree with the author of the Universe?
Now looking at your date of birth of October 3rd, 1990 (thanks for that), I am using it to calculate what numerologists call your Life Path Number (LPN). Your LPN is thought to be the most efficient way of looking at what were your personality strengths and weaknesses at the time you were born, as well as what your main life lessons or challenges are.
Of course much has happened to you after you were still a babe in your mother's arms in October 1990 (the environment), and accordingly you have been permanently changed by your total life experiences up until now. This means that as a result of your life lessons over more than 21 years your strengths and weaknesses and life lessons still to come could be very different from way back then.
According to your reading you have in reality made significant positive progress towards better understanding and accepting who you truly are deep inside your soul where it counts. But this great improvement is presently being hidden from you by your learned behaviour of beating up on yourself when a lesser man than you are might have easily given up long ago. Where or how you learned this behaviour is not as important as what you are going to do about it NOW in the present moment, which is your only true point of power to create a happier and more successful life for yourself by your own efforts.
October 3rd, 1990
3 + (1 + 0) + (1 + 9 + 9 + 0) = 3 + 1 + 19 = 23
2 + 3 =
5
Your calculated Life Path Number is
FIVE.
Those people who follow the number 5 Life Path are adventurous and highly curious individuals who consider hands on, practical experience to be the best teacher in their lives. Many of them are highly intelligent, philosophical and spiritually minded people who enjoy thinking deeply about the nature and mystery of existence. Despite their sometimes spaced out, temporarily disconnected from their surroundings looks, many number 5s are in fact sincere seekers of solutions to some of mankind’s most complex and in turn frequently most difficult and frustrating problems.
But our accumulated life experiences can cut both ways. Just as they can teach us to eventually be a better person, they can also be used to teach us to fear and avoid future life lessons.
I sense between the lines of what you have written in your request that you have a great love and respect for your parents. Would I be right in saying that they always did what they felt was in your best interests at the time? Being a father of two adult children myself, it would be unfair of me to then criticise what your parents did or did not do in what were felt to be your best interests when you were still growing up into being the good and decent young man whom you clearly are, but your habit of being too hard upon yourself may have been unintentionally learned from one or other of the two people in this world who most loved and cared for you as a child and then as a teenager. It is now difficult but certainly not impossible at the age of 21 years for you to both challenge and reverse this learned behaviour. It is not too late to do this.
It will always be easier for me to tell you this than for you to do it, but the only effective and lasting way to challenge and reverse your learned self criticism and self punishment is by developing more self love and more compassion towards yourself. Learning to love yourself more has nothing at all to do with being self conceited and vain and thinking that you are better (or worse) than anyone else.
SELF LOVE = TO VALUE AND RESPECT YOURSELF MORE.
In your request you mentioned that you believed that you had been disrespectful to your parents, when your reading is saying that you were only standing up for what you believed was your right to want to live your life as you best saw fit to do so. The problem now is that what you only thought was a sign of disrespect to your parents is now being expressed by your own lack of respect for yourself.
Don't you recognise that with your limited understanding and wisdom during your earlier years that you were almost guaranteed to challenge your parent's authority at some stage? Does that automatically make you the world's worst criminal, to be punished forever for a crime which you never committed? The intended life purpose of an individual walking the number 5 life path is to help and support others. But how can a person help and support other people, when he fails to first do these things for and to himself? How can you offer self value and self respect to another person (love them), when you have not yet extended the same value and respect (self love) to yourself?
In summary your main life purpose is for you to gradually develop increased self love, and apply it to your daily living by whatever method best suits your personality. God's plan for your life is to use your self love in order to more effectively channel his healing energies into the lives of the many people who will come looking for your help and comfort during the remaining years of your current lifetime.
Healer: first heal yourself!
Love, Light and Peace from someone who believes that you have it within you the still largely unknown and therefore largely untapped ability to be a very successful healer, if it is your conscious decision to use your healing abilities in the loving service of others in the future (and it must be your choice). Choose you main life work or job by how much it will allow you to heal, inspire and encourage others to rediscover within themselves the same inner strengths and sheer determination in the face of life's challenges which your reading sees in you NOW.
Preferably select a job where you are regularly in direct contact with the people whom you are attempting to help as your clients, and not simply pushing papers around your desk or in front of a computer monitor each week day between 9 and 5.
But if such a routine job is your only way to survive financially or otherwise during the next six to twelve months, see it merely as a useful stepping stone to a job which is more consistent with your significant healing and helping abilities, further down the road.
Namaste,
EoT
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