Hello

For the past 3 months i've been stressed heartbroken and losing sleep over a guy friend of mine. The dear man is 16 yrs my senior, we started out as friends and feelings grew deeper between us. He has been divorced and single for over 20 yrs, and he finally felt i was the girl he at last wanted to marry.

I love this man deeply. But the past few months he has pushed me completely away. We went a month and never spoke, i finally contacted him a week ago. When he replied he was extremely rude and mean with me. He was never this way with me before, he was always warm and sweet towards me.

I tried talking to him trying to find out if something was bothering him. He became extremely angry and defensive and said some very hurtful things to me. He then told me to never contact him ever again.

This is the man i dreamed of marrying and i thought he felt the same abt me. I dont understand what happened to make him behave as he did. Is there another woman in his life he is interested in now? Will he ever get back in contact with me or is it over for good for us?


Can a psychic please help enlighten me? It would mean so much. I've been in constant tears from the words he spoke to me and trying to figure out what went wrong for us.

Thank you so much in advance. Your time is really appreciated

Birthdates if needed.. mine-9-8-76    his-12-27-60

Hi Sherry,

The main problem is that we are guessing what is actually going on in his mind and the rest of his life. If it were possible for me to psychically eavesdrop on him like this, it would be regarded by most readers as an uninvited invasion of of his right to the privacy of his thoughts and feelings, unless he personally requested a reading from one of us working on this forum.

A reading which is directly about any other person than the MB member who first requested it is called a third party one, and it is not allowed to be given according to the forum rules.

This effectively means that there is no reliable method for me to be able to determine his thoughts and feelings towards you, other than indirectly through the hurtful words with which he has mistreated you with recently. I also cannot directly tell you whether or not it is because of another woman in his life closer to his own age, or whether it is the age difference after all which he sees as a major barrier to continuing to be with you in the romantic sense of the meaning of the word.

OK so now I have told you at great length what I cannot or am not allowed to directly do through a reading, is there still some other way to offer you some general but often also frustratingly vague hints or clues in the direction of hopefully discovering what exactly is going on with him?

Yes there is an alternate method, but it is a more indirect one through his relationship with you and it is therefore unfortunately much more likely as a result to be far less accurate and reliable in what it can predict or tell you about this mature age guy (early 50s), when compared to if it was allowed for me to use the third party route. It would be unwise or even dangerous for you to make any important decisions about whether or not he is worth continuing to pursue ENTIRELY BASED UPON THE CONTENTS OF THIS READING. Only if used in combination with solid physical evidence and information gained from other non psychic sources, should you take what this reading says as coming close to representing the truth.

For the purposes of your reading, I am putting away for the moment my traditional Rider-Waite Tarot pack, with preference to me using my relatively newer Mermaid and Dolphin (MAD) cards in their place, purely as a focussing tool for my intuition. The question I am asking my inner guidance while cutting and shuffling my MAD cards is as follows......



And the first card I drew which also automatically becomes your main theme card for this reading is the very one you probably did not want me to turn over on your behalf.



On the surface only this card appears to be saying that you should forget him and leave him to his own devices, and cast off any remaining energy bonds which have formed between you while you were still going out together on a fairly regular basis.

BUT I AM NOT INTERPRETING THIS CARD FEATURING IN YOUR READING AS NECESSARILY MEANING ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

My impressions for what you might feel they are worth, are that there still remains a faint glimmer of hope that this relationship is heal-able or repairable. Not a particularly bright or large glimmer, but a glimmer nevertheless.

I sense that the card could be telling you to throw away or discard old ways of thinking about him, as well as your habit of guessing about what he is thinking or feeling towards you exclusively through what he actually says, or by watching his body language. It is terribly confusing when a person thinks or feels one thing, but he then behaves in the complete opposite way to what you may have expected that he would from what your physical senses are picking up on. He has been divorced and single in his mind for over 20 years, but these 20 years later he has grown increasingly comfortable with thinking and living as a single man. And with him currently undergoing a major mid life crisis of mammoth proportions, his behaviour is likely to be more erratic and unpredictable for some time still yet to come.

It is understandable that you interpret all the hurtful things he has said and done to you personally as being your fault, but this is not so. There are many things going on in his life at the moment which began long before you ever arrived on the scene. I seriously doubt that there is another woman in his life at the present moment (unless his elderly mother still happens to be alive) who interests him in the way which you are suggesting. I do not think that he currently has enough space, time or energy available for any woman in his life, including you.

His energies indirectly seem terribly scattered to me, and it is as though he is being pulled in every different direction at the same time. Basically I feel that he is not capable at present of making a fully informed or balanced, logical decision about anything or anyone which or whom is important to him. He is soul searching and thinking so deeply whenever he is conscious that everything else is sacrificed or pushed aside in the process.

What I feel you need to let go of is your long time habit of trying to read his mind and make negative assumptions based upon what are presently unsubstantiated suspicions that he might be fooling around with another woman's heart. Do not openly accuse him of having been unfaithful, unless you have definite evidence to back up your claims of possible infidelity on his part. Of course none of this is likely to come to pass if the channels of two way communication between you remain permanently closed.

If both of you are still open to the idea of remaining good friends only without any strings attached, the Christmas New Year holiday period would be a golden opportunity to resuscitate the friendship and then allow nature to take its course if your love relationship is meant to also be restored. I cannot say with any reasonable certainty one way or the other if this will work, and I cannot offer you guarantees that he will let down the walls he has built around his heart to allow you to get close enough to him to determine the truth for yourself. But I can almost guarantee that if you do not give this your best shot then you could live a life full of regrets for not having enough courage to find out for certain whether he really feels so hostile towards you that a loving relationship between you in the future is completely out of both your reaches.

I see your hope or chances of pulling this off as being like a flickering weak candle flame in the very middle of a cyclone where the atmosphere and wind speeds often calm down immensely when compared to when the cyclone passes directly over and on top of you, first one way and later in the opposite direction. I see your candle flame/relationship as currently being in the eye of the cyclone, where moving it slightly one way or the other further away from where it is now could cause all your relationship healing plans to become badly unstuck. Try instead (this is always easier said than done) to keep the relationship itself and your emotional responses IN THE EYE OF THE CYCLONE, AND NOT AROUND ITS EDGES.

Focus your energies less on mind reading or fortune telling as a guide to what is really going on with him, and MORE UPON RE-OPENING THE CHANNELS OF COMMUNICATION BETWEEN YOU BOTH BY BOTH LETTING GO OF YOUR OLD, OUTWORN HABITS OF THOUGHT AND MAKING ROOM FOR NEW AND IMPROVED WAYS OF RESPONDING TO WHAT ARE CLEARLY TERRIBLY MIXED UP AND SERIOUSLY CONFUSED SIGNALS WHICH ARE COMING FROM HIM.

I feel that he is much more confused about what or whom he needs most in his own life in order to be his true Self, when compared to the average man of his age group. What made him like this is a good question with no outstandingly satisfying answers, but I suspect that a qualified psychologist would look first to his upbringing, and secondly to his failed marriage to hunt down the original source of his emotional pain and mental anguish, and his feelings of utter powerlessness and almost terminal loss of self confidence. At least that is what I am indirectly reading about him through you.

Loving regards,

EoT  

PS: As this is your first posting which is also first reading request, could you please in return for the favour I have given you read and follow the forum rule about introducing yourself in the Introduce Yourself forum, before making a request? I gave you this reading in good faith that you will do this now, and become an active member of these forums and not only be interested in getting free reads from now on, then take off to somewhere else to do the same thing as people whose name I will not mention have done in the past. I feel that I am a reasonably good judge of character, and I rate your quality of character as being too high to do something unfriendly like this.

Quote:

1. Please do not jump in and request a reading as your first post, that is impolite and you are likely to be ignored. Instead take time to wander around the boards and introduce yourself. Post a few things and get the feeling of the whole community. The community cannot survive on giving readings alone.

EoT  

EoT,

My guy friend sent me a series of texts explaining that after 20+ yrs of being single that he could not handle me in his life, nor any other woman (only his daughter). He stated that i make him feel trapped and that he is used to coming and going as he pleases and he sees me as an interruption to his life. Also, i made the mistake months ago of questioning whether he was involved with another woman and did not trust his word when he answered. He said i am too emotional, and he could not take all my suspicions and assumptions. He also feels that i will come between him and his faith, as he has recently become very religious.

He seems so out of control to me.. his actions, his thoughts and words.. thats where all my insecurities came from. He constantly lives in his mind, yearning for the past he cant bring back. He has become someone that i do not know anymore. At this point he does not even want a friendship with me, he simply told me "you are a problem, go away". He assured me there are no other women in his life he is interested in. I guess theres not much else i can do, just let him walk away and find whatever it is he needs and longs for. It hurts so much to think i may never see nor hear from him ever again. I suppose it just wasnt meant to be for him and i.

I want to thank you for your reading. It helped me so so much. I truly appreciate the time and energy you put into it. It was amazingly accurate i believe. Thank you.

Sherry,

You are always welcome for my readings and friendly advice.



All that I want to say is that it appears that you already have a very accurate and complete understanding of why he will probably always have problems forming and maintaining a close loving relationship with ANY woman, and why he will continue to use people in the most insensitive manner to try to compensate for his own human weaknesses.

He has according to what you wrote become someone whom you no longer recognise as being the man you previously fell in love with, and who claimed to love and care so much about you until he no longer felt he needed you and threw you away like he would any piece of his rubbish.

While it would be wrong of me to judge him unfairly and prematurely without allowing him to tell his story from his own perspective or way of looking at things, I am afraid that even readers are only human with feelings and problems of their own, and I am somewhat embarrassed and ashamed by him and for him by his insensitive and to be honest incredibly cruel behaviour towards you as my friend, to comfortably be able to call myself a man.

But simultaneously as a man I feel for him, although this is no excuse for what harm he is doing both to you and to himself by the callous way in which he acts. I do not want to be seen as taking sides against either of you, as I am also highly imperfect and flawed to the extreme. People who live in glass houses should not throw stones?

L&L,

EoT