I recently got married several months ago. While both my wife and I want to start a family right away, I'm a little more anxious than her as I'm already in my early 40's while she is more than 10 years younger than me. Being older I also worry about my ability to father a child. My question is, is there a child in my near future (next year hopefully)? Thank you for your time and response.

Congratulations on your marriage mate, but medical readings including those which either attempt to diagnose or predict pregnancy or the sex of any unborn children are not allowed on Mystic Boards. Also since this would be mainly about your wife and not you, it would also by definition be regarded as a third party reading.





"Please Read Before Requesting a Reading"



Your doctor can also discuss with you from a professional medical viewpoint any concerns you might have about the effects of your relative ages upon your chances of your wife becoming pregnant.

My personal non medical opinion is that it would be more significant if she was instead 10 plus years older than yourself and in her early 40s.

It is I believe the age of the mother especially if this will be her first child and not the father, which can in some but not all situations increase the probability of chromosomal damage and birth defects.

Under 60 years of age genetic mutations or changes in the husband's sperm or decreased health and motility of his "wrigglers" are unlikely to be major factors in increasing the risk of birth defects above those which are already expected by chance alone.

Men of 80 or 90 can successfully father children, so at the ripe young age of your early 40s unless there is a medical or genetic reason which prevents this from happening, go for it with my blessing and do not over-concern yourself about something that probably is of no consequence.

Needless worrying about your fertility and potency when there is no valid reason for doing so (see your doctor if you think that there might be) will only make fatherhood (or motherhood in women) less likely at any age.

The best advice I can give you is to stop making love to your wife ONLY to have a baby.

Have fun and enjoy yourselves practising to become a daddy and a mummy, and relax more.

Could I please suggest as a substitute for the pregnancy reading which we are unfortunately unable to offer you under the current site rules, that you should simply request a couple or family reading in its place?

I will watch out for your decision about this, and hope that you will understand why I do not feel it would be worth me losing my position as an approved reader on this forum over, by giving you what you are asking for here (even though I wish both you and your new wife all the very best of luck in becoming parents, sooner rather than later).

Cheers,

EoT  

Sorry for my initial inquiry... I didn't mean to ask a question that was against the forum rules. A couples reading should do just fine, though I'm a little uncertain exactly what that is. Is it a general reading or do I need to ask something specific? Thank you for the quick reply.

A couples reading is more involved with us intuitively determining the relative health and strength of your relationship, rather than it attempting to predict any specific future event including a possible future pregnancy.

It is a special type of general reading applying to a couple instead of to an individual as is usually the case, and being "general" there is therefore no requirement for you to ask any detailed question(s) for it to be able to proceed.

Now I do not know how long your relationship had been in existence leading up to your recent nuptials, but for the purposes of this reading we can probably regard it as being relatively a new one when compared for example to my own marriage, which will have lasted 33 years come early January 2012.

As would also be expected with a large proportion of new marriages yours is no exception to the rule that there is an inherent robust health and strength within it from which to start a family. Of course the increased number of failed marriages and divorces often seen these days proves that some marriages do not start off particularly well on either of these two fronts, then tend to go rapidly downhill from there and only get worse until there is a complete communication breakdown.

But fortunately your marriage is not amongst the "walking wounded", and you are both well placed as a couple to be able to create a solid foundation to begin your role as parents, which should if you continue to honestly talk to each other about your feelings and learn to compromise if or when it is necessary, only grow from strength to strength.

The Four of Swords (FOS) which was the first card I drew on your behalf as a couple and consequently becomes the main theme card of your reading has a two fold interpretation frequently associated with it by most readers. And from what I am immediately sensing about your relationship from reading between the lines of words which you have typed in your request, both of these most likely apply to your situation.

You may or may not already be familiar with the Greek mythological fable of the so called Hanging Sword of Damocles. If not, type it as a key phrase into your favourite internet search engine. But for this reading to make sense if you simply think of the symbol of having a sword hanging point downwards over you which could at any minute without any warning fall down upon your head and skewer you to the ground where you are standing. Feeling that you have such a sharp sword hanging over you you are understandably anxious and hesitant to do anything which could suddenly end in a horrible death if the powers to be are not happy or satisfied with what you decide to do.

It is my opinion that this is referring to your high level of anxiety about your ability to father a child at around 40 years of age, probably combined with both of you being anxious about if or whether you would make good and responsible parents if your union was blessed with the sound of two tiny feet running around your home.

I am not picking up on any valid reasons for concerning yourself about either of these two issues. It is perfectly natural for most parents to be to have some anxiety about whether they have what it takes to make the grade for bringing up their child to a reasonable adulthood, but you are probably adding to what anxiety or worry is understandable how your relative ages could influence your fertility and your ability to provide the new person with a stable home environment, and long term financial security.

Let's be honest about this. Having and bringing up children can be an expensive exercise at any time, but in the current unpredictable economic situation and with steady and secure jobs rapidly becoming an endangered species, this is more true than probably at any point within the last generation (20 years). We are constantly bombarded with negativity and predictions that the entire world financial sector is about to crumble, and even if we somehow manage to survive this the world is supposed to come to an end in 2012, if all the prophets of doom are finally proven to have been right. So in a manner the entire world, couples and individuals feel like they have the Sword of Damocles hanging suspended only millimetres above their heads, as if disaster and total destruction or Armageddon is just around the corner. The question on most people's minds is not so much if the sword will fall, but it is instead when will it fall.

There are two major options you can take in response to feeling this way. Other than giving up completely and simply doing nothing to help yourselves and passively waiting for the end to come,which is not an option I would wish on my worst enemy, let alone upon my internet friends. You can on one hand allow your anxiety and fears to paralyse you from tasking any positive action to protect your new family from the slings and arrows of misfortune which we are vulnerable to at some time in our lives, or we need to on the other hand somehow come to terms with and adapt to the present conditions in the best way we know how to.

And depending on the child's age and ability to understand that we are doing the best that we can as their parents, we need to make the child feel that we are reasonably confident and competent to be able to provide all that he or she will need to grow up to become a mature, independent adult. In other words even if we are not feeling as confident as we like to make them believe that we are, we need to be seen by them as neither having no control, nor being perfect parents who never make mistakes.

The second most common interpretation for the FOS is that you or your relationship is currently in or is about to enter a more relaxed resting phase. Your reading is talking about how intense is your desire to become loving parents as soon as possible, and I hear that you are already putting many things in place in preparation for or in positive anticipation of the blessed event which you are hoping will happen soon. So there has been a lot of planning and frantic thinking and activity going on during the months you have been married (and probably a lot more before the actual wedding itself) in the direction of creating a healthy and stable atmosphere for the next generation of your families. This state of extreme stress cannot go on indefinitely, as if it does you will be in serious danger of suffering from premature burnout. And it appears that the next six months will be an excellent opportunity to prevent this from happening.

Between now and roughly the middle of May of next year (6 months), the FOS advises that a resting and tying together of loose ends phase is just what your inner doctors have prescribed to protect you from a premature burnout both as a couple and as separate individuals. This only confirms my original impression that many of your concerns exist only in your imagination, although I am not saying that your future as parents will be without its challenges. You are not imagining or over exaggerating everything.

There are always real risks involved in doing anything which is important to us, and there is no more important a job to be done in this world than to bring up a child. Your reading is basically saying that while there are these risks, you are both more than adequately equipped and prepared to meet whatever challenges you may encounter in your married life as parents, and that these risks can be minimised if you do not allow your fears and negative imagination and emotions to get the best of your logic and reason and your powers of good judgement.

In summary this card and reading is effectively giving you both an A grade for preparing to become parents, but only so far a C minus grade for relaxing and having enough faith in each other to understand that you are not expected to do this formidable task entirely by yourselves, and that there are no gold stars being awarded for you destroying your marriage, your health and your peace of mind in the process of preparing for parenthood.

Just like your own parents undoubtedly did, you will make mistakes. Own your mistakes, and learn from them what you can of positive, lasting value. Stop trying so hard to become a SuperMum and SuperDad, as your future child will unintentionally learn that being fallible and making mistakes is a sign of weakness, and that it is therefore something to be ashamed or embarrassed about if he or she is not perfect like his or her parents through a child's eyes are seen as being.

God bless you both, and I sincerely hope that by next Xmas there will be someone new for Santa Claus to visit and give presents to in your family abode.

Love, Light and Peace to you both at this festive and Holy time of year, ultimately culminating on December 25th.

EoT