Hi Rose,

Unfortunately a reading about any person other than yourself is regarded as being third party, and is therefore not allowed under the forum rules. However since it is clear that Chris's future is of the utmost concern to his mother (possibly even more than your job), then there is a more indirect approach which we can take to make this reading happen in spite of the third party restriction.

We can instead make this reading entirely about you and your relationship to other family members, including of course your son. The only downside of me doing this is that any predictions made or insights gained by this more round about method tend on average to be less reliable than if I had been able instead to go the third party route.

BTW before we begin what amounts to a family reading, I noticed that you had associated getting a job with a special man coming into your lives. While it is true that the extra income which this man whom you are still to meet (?) would be most welcome to shore up your weekly budget and allow both you and your son greater financial security well into the future, I would not at the same time if I were in your situation pin your hopes entirely on getting the job first and your man second in that order.

Although you must continue to make job applications, present yourself in the best possible light to prospective employers, it is felt to be vital that you should unintentionally set unnecessary conditions for your own happiness and being loved. Actually should the truth be known, this is directly relevant to your understandable concerns about where Chris's future (and your own as well) could possibly be leading.

Now please do not misunderstand the point which I am trying to make here. You are and have always done your very best and more to provide all the loving support and guidance which Chris has needed and still needs as any mother worth her salt would do. In fact it is felt that you have for the love of your son made major personal and financial sacrifices, in order that your son could have the very best possible start to life. On a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 means that that you have done an exceptional job as Chris's mother, then you would be awarded a 12!

While many "single parents" (single for one of several possible reasons) bring up well adjusted sons and daughters without the support of a partner, having another member of the opposite gender to back you up and to perform a father's or mother's role certainly would not do any harm to your family, and could potentially do a lot of good to your son's sense of self confidence and masculinity.

At the moment the entire burden of your son's difficulties in adjusting to what is still effectively a man's world rests squarely upon your shoulders, and that burden or load is naturally testing your abilities to cope in all other areas of your life as well as in your relationship with your son. Even the most exceptional parent in the world has his or her own limits as to what he or she is capable of doing with the resources they have been given to bring up their child, and this reading indicates that your coping abilities are currently being stretched to their maximum.

Yes a new job could really boost your family income, but a new partner for you and new father for Chris could provide much more than simply money (although you need enough of it to be able to live and pay your bills). But it has to be the right sort of man for the both of you. Just any man will not do in your and your son's position. If he is the wrong sort of man, then you would be far better off continuing to go solo. Now matter how much money he earns, if he does not genuinely love the both of you as well as any other members of your family unit, then he is not going to be an appropriate role model to Chris as to what being a man is all about.

And you having to be trapped in a loveless relationship so that your son can have a good male role model is never fair compensation for your partner bringing home a fat pay packet each week. You are not looking for a saint or a perfect partner or father, but you deserve far better out of love and life than to be forced to continue to sacrifice your own equally important needs for Chris. I cannot read him directly, but I sense that he would neither want nor expect you to put your own needs on hold indefinitely for him.

I believe that he would want you to be happy within yourself, and not be miserable so that he could have a man's guiding hand. He may in his frustration and anger have said words to you that he would take back if he could, but underneath all this I do feel that your mother son relationship is basically a sound one, with the usual ups and downs of any similar close human relationship in the real world.

My impressions based purely upon this one indirect reading of your son as well as yourself is that there is still every good reason for you to remain hopeful of restoring your relationship with him to its former harmony, but that this is unlikely to work if you do not at the same time ensure that you get your own equally important needs met in the process. And the reading closes with the the common advice often given to people whose relationships with other family members are under pressure and not currently working particularly well.



This wise saying does not only apply to husbands and their wives.

Blessed be,

EoT  

Hi Eye of Tiger  

First of all sorry for not responding sooner as I have been working 10-12 hour days and then ended up with a bad sinus infection...getting better though.

I must apologize as I didn't word my question correctly with regards to my son.  Basically I wanted to know what I could do as a mom to help him and I believe you have provided that information.  I promise to re-read the forum rules to ensure I phrase things correctly.

The reason I asked about my job is because I work in managed health care and in the state in which I live things are changing.  I'm not looking for a new job as I like mine for the most part.  If one would present itself to me I would take the time to review it.  I do make a nice salary, yet if a higher salary appeared I would review what it has to offer

I did not mean a new job connected with a new man in my life, sorry of that's how the sentence appeared to you.

Thank you for the compliment on being a mom.  Both of my sons mean the world to me as my three grandsons do too.

Although during my son's upbringing I have been married to their father, I was in many respects a "single parent" and attempted to bring good role models for both of my sons into their lives with friends and family members.

Chris and his wife have separated and it has not been easy for him.  He lost his job and was drinking way too much.  I feel the drinking has stopped due to another situation and pray each day things get resolved.  I know he and his wife will not be back together, yet I want him to be able to see the kids and not have to do everything by her wishes.

Yes it will be wonderful to have a male in my life that is a good role model for both of my sons.  I know this will happen when it's supposed too.

Thank you for your time and generous reading.

Blessings to you!  

OUCH!!!! I have also suffered with severe sinus infections and blinding sinus allergy headaches in the past, and I therefore feel great empathy for the suffering which this has undoubtedly caused you. Consequently there is no need for you to apologize for any delay in responding to my reading. Your health must always take a greater priority.

It is always my pleasure to feel that I have through my spiritual work on this forum made a positive difference in someone else's life, and especially in the life of a good friend and decent human being and loving parent such as yourself.

The main focus of the reading was to offer you advice about how best to help your son and in turn his wife, and the lack of connection between a new job and a new man in your life is understandable when for the purposes of this reading it was more a side issue, and only a possibility felt worth mentioning in passing. A foot note, so to speak?

Male friends and family members can also often be more than adequate role models in the effective absence of their biological father to a growing boy or man. Indeed looking at some nuclear families (Mum, Dad and children) where the father is anything but a good role model to their sons, a male friend or family member would be far preferable than knowing that your parents are only staying together because of you, and all love that was once between them has gone.

You have every right to feel proud of what you have achieved in the way of helping and supporting your son and daughter in law in their current difficult situation, but as loving and caring parents we always feel that we should do more.

If only there was an excellent guide book or set of detailed instructions of how to be the best possible parent for our children at all stages of their lives, then our task would be significantly easier than it is. If such a guidebook or set of instructions exists, then my readings are noticeably silent or vague concerning their exact location.

L&L,

EoT