Hey there, I was just looking for a general love reading....

I was dating a guy this summer for about 2-3 months, it seemed to be going really great and he seemed pretty serious about me. I really fell for him, but he ended up really hurting me. A few weeks after he wanted to hang out again and go out for coffee "you know, you can see me anytime you want " -- he was all like. But I was still too hurt and upset about things, although I missed him a lot. Now we have no contact and are not on the best of terms at the moment, but maybe that's for the best right now so I can fully cut ties and move on.

I recently started dating this new guy, who I actually started liking a whole lot more than my ex in some ways. We only went on a couple of dates, but he seemed to be really into me,, texting and messaging me all the time,a nd wanting to know when we can go out again. Our last date went really well, he dropped me off, kissed me goodnight,, and the next couple of days he was always messaging me and wanting to know when he can see me again. I told him when I could this week, he said either day would work for him.... and then all of a sudden he just never got back to me, and it's been 3-4 days.... it makes absolutely no sense, but I'm guessing this is another no go... I'm a little disappointed again, beause I would have liked to get to know him better and spend more time with him.

not looking for a 3rd party reading or anything, just more like.... what should I be doing differently and stuff to get what I want out of this area of life, or what I should be looking for or expecting? I don't really know why I am having such a hard time with it. I'm beautiful, outgoing, and have tons of friends-- Ive never had any problem getting attention from guys or anything, but its like they only ever want 'parts' of me lol.... I want a guy who genuinely cares about me and adores me, and will be fully committed that I can feel safe with. I hate feeling in this position-- hurt, and disapointed, and like I have no control..

Teresa,

A lack of any self confidence with men on your part is definitely not your problem in attempting to find a man whose words and actions agree with each other for a pleasant and refreshing change.

You do not mention specifically how long it has been since you say that you have lost contact with guy number 1, but it is felt through your reading that you may have moved too quickly into yet another relationship, before you were either able or willing to fully put guy number one completely out of your heart.

There is a part of you which is hoping that he will get back in contact with you of his own choice, and while that fragment of hope and expectation still exists at an unconscious level, there will not be enough room in your heart for two men at the same time.

Now while I am reasonably confident that you did not discuss or compare your relationship with guy 1 while you were dating guy 2, you are still putting out unconscious body and other signals to any man who approaches you with romantic intentions of wanting to get to know you better that you are already taken, and that for at least the foreseeable future you are unavailable for any close relationships.

I am not a qualified relationship counsellor or psychologist, but I do know from my own personal experience just how difficult and frustrating it is to realise how often it is that our conscious and unconscious minds are in direct conflict with each other in many different life areas at the same time.

And because we ourselves lack the required knowledge and special techniques which trained psychologists have to be able to more easily access the contents of our unconscious mind, it might appear to us that there is some external force being bought to bear upon all relationships which we attempt to enjoy with a member of the opposite gender, which feels as though the Universe is determined to sabotage all our efforts to find a soul mate, and that we are somehow destined by fate to remain single for the rest of our lives.

I want to strongly emphasise here that logically all of the above supposition is complete nonsense, and your reading wants to assure you that no such malicious external force or destiny is constantly trying to rain on your parade. It only feels like this is the case because your conscious mind is desperately looking for a reason why your series of relationships with men continue to fail, when they always hold out such promise of lasting happiness at the beginning.

By definition your conscious mind is not consciously aware of the part of you which is without you realising it is happening signalling any man you meet to keep their hands off of you because you are already taken, so it invents any excuse no matter how illogical it might sound to in an attempt to make some sense of what to your conscious make no sense at all.

Other than consulting a qualified psychologist or relationship counsellor in your local area whom you can get an appointment with in under six months and can afford, it is felt that you could potentially gain great benefit from trying the special energy visualisation method commonly called DE-CORDING.

http://healingtowholeness.com/decording.html



A sample de-cording script is then supplied on the above web page for those of us who want to try this for themselves, either in combination with professional help, or alternately as a replacement for professional help if it is thought that seeing one at this stage is too extreme or too expensive.

If you believe you are really ready to severe once and for all the unconscious energy bonds which still exist between you and guy number 1, then this should eventually help to clear your heart of him forever, making room for guy 2, 3 or 4.

It is unclear from your reading if this learning experiment would come too little and too late for your current relationship to be saved, but the sooner you can get started with your de-cording exercise, the better it is predicted that your chances become with either this relationship, or for that matter any other future relationship which you may want to have with other men further down the road.

If you do decide to try this could you please let me know under this same thread after say two consecutive weeks of practising de-cording, whether or not you believe that it is helping you to finally disconnect your heart from guy 1? I have already had some exceptionally encouraging positive feedback from other women on this forum who have tried de-cording to help them make way for the new man in their lives with great success, and your feedback could you never know what difference it might make go on to help many other women in a similar situation to yourself over the next few years.

You are neither consciously doing nor are you guilty of doing anything wrong, but your unconscious mind is presently making things incredibly more difficult for you than they should be, and is largely preventing you from being able to easily form and maintain new and lasting relationships with any guy.

Give the de-cording a fair trial for at least the next month, and if you can honestly say that you feel after 30 days regular practice that it is not helping you to get over guy 1, you may then need to reconsider the need for professional help and support as your next step towards eventual freedom from your hidden inner saboteur (the part of your unconscious mind which is still waiting for and expecting guy 1 to come back to you by his on choice).

Many blessings,

EoT