Hey, I’ve gotten some pretty good advice and insight from here before so  I thought I’d try again. I went through a really tough time with an ex well over a year ago and asked for a reading,,, which StormyGirl Blue (aka Tammy) gave me a really good one that proved to be quite accurate when it came to that situation. And I know predictions at times should be taken with some liberty,,,however I ended up dating this guy where it seemed to fit the bill quite accurately and be going so very well.  (In the reading I got something like my next partner would be ‘not identical twins, but another brother….close but not the same, etc’) He’s technically a twin, although not exactly identical…. Him and his brother shared an egg  and stuff etc but they ended up looking very different…. And also that I would be caught “off-guard” when we found eachother.

And it’s hard to explain, but there was so much serendipity with the situation with us as well. For just a few examples,,, I found out he actually ended up going to my small university for 4 years with me, and even lived in the same residence as me first year just a floor below me, we both spent the same summer together in the small college town  because we both had to make up courses.. After getting to know him, we actually have very similar backgrounds, family situations, and life attitudes (we both had difficult relationships with our mothers, we were both sort of raised by our grandfathers who passed away, both had single parent dads, etc). Our names even have alliterations. However somehow after all of this we never actually met for 5 years until after we both ended up moving to same nearby city. We originally dated for like 3 weeks-ish, but I was kind of the one to get antsy about the situation and put an end to it. To be honest, I was still in the process of getting over some ex stuff and I didn’t even realize how negative my mindset was when it came to dating. I realized that I honestly held this belief that I was unlovable (due to other  past negative experiences in my life as well).

Once I came to these realizations, it’s hard to explain but I came to this sort of peace and confidence in my life,,, where I just felt like, not that I necessarily ‘needed’ a relationship.. but more like I was just actually finally ready for a mature healthy one for once in my life.. it was just a matter of who it was with.

And then we started talking again and decided to meet up again after quite a few months….our  (well second time) 1st date, I was surprised to find out he actually ended up moving into my apartment building just a floor above me just two weeks before (he used to live like half hour away which contributed to the original complications). We dated for over 2 months (like 3 total if you add it all up lol)… and it was pretty much perfect, I felt like I pretty much mail-ordered a boyfriend. He even met my parents and very willingly sat through a really awkward fancy dinner with them (for me) and wanted to hear baby stories lol. In short, He was very chivalrous, considerate, caring, affectionate…. let’s say I had absolutely no doubt in my mind that he was genuinely super interested in me, cared for me a lot, was very protective of me, and wanted something serious. It’s almost like I couldn’t even avoid the boy if I wanted to.

However, a few days ago he just broke up with me out of the blue (well the past weekish there’s been some minor things). He wasn’t a dickhead about it or anything, and although I am very heartbroken right now  I dealt with it really well, it’s on super good terms, and we’ve both expressed that we both really like each other as people, there’s no negativity, and really want to remain friends and stay in touch.
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I think I have learned to have enough respect and confidence in myself at this point to be okay if it doesn’t work out,,, however at the same time I do genuinely reallyyy care for this guy a lot, I felt so comfortable with him and like no matter what,, we could always just laugh together and be like best friends. So now I’m just kind of like ..wtf??... maybe it was just  me, but I feel like I was given so many signs from the universe that I should give this guy the benefit of the doubt and a leap of faith… and now somehow I am in this position again. I guess I’m just looking for insight on my love life, what I should be doing or if I am doing something wrong…. is this situation hopefless, was I actually that wrong and was sort of used again?What I should be looking for right now….Any insight woud be very much appreciated, I am very confused and hurting a lot right now.

I so feel for you, it's never nice in these kind  of situations. Have you tried PMing Tammy and asking if she will pick up this request to read for you?

I haven't seen her post for ages although she is still listed as a reader I am sure she will pick up your pm

Hi Teresa,

As StormGirlBlue (Tammy) last posted to these MB forums in very early May, I am sure that she will not mind me helping you with this in her absence.

I can sense how much you are presently hurting and grieving for a relationship which once held out such promise to you over the longer term as a couple, but that has now clearly reached a point where your hopes and expectations for the future appear to have been lost.

While it is perfectly natural for you to examine in detail where things went wrong between you, or what you feel that you did wrong, logically it can serve no useful purpose in helping you to accept that some things were never meant to be, or should I say that some things were not meant to last for an entire lifetime.

I believe based upon what I am reading with you that you were definitely intended to meet this particular guy during this current lifetime. But you were never meant to stay together in quite the way that you visualised would happen. You came together again in order to resolve certain outstanding issues with each other left over from previous shared past lives, and if there is such a thing as having a soul mate, then he is one of them.

So while you are obviously terribly disappointed that things did not turn out in exactly the way that you most wanted them too, you amicably parted as a couple but both have agreed to remain each other's good friends.



You may indeed have only temporarily lost him as your lover (no reading can predict this accurately and reliably enough, one way or the other, so Cassie was spot on with her statement about the difficulties of making predictions through psychic readings about what another person will or will not do), but you are still together as close friends, and the way that you separated at the very least leaves the door slightly open to the possibility that at some time in the future that you may once again know love and make love with each other.

The main message behind this reading, although it probably sounds cold and clinical and completely insensitive to your womanly feelings is that the plan which the Universe had and still has for your lives is unfolding exactly as it was originally designed to. There is therefore no failure as such for you to feel guilty about, because according to your life blueprint neither of you has actually done anything wrong.

During the next six months as long as you do not continue to endlessly beat upon yourself for believing wrongly that you may have failed, I see your friendship growing and deepening. If you regard such a relationship  and situation as being without any real sense of hope, then try to convince all of the lonely people who have never known what it is like to have one true friend that life has treated you unfairly.

Far from being hopeless, instead I see enormous potential here for you both to enjoy each other's company and companionship for some considerable time into the future. As long as you do not allow your understandable but not firmly based in reality emotions get in the way of the valuable lessons which are being presented to you even now, I see every valid reason for you to feel hopeful, at peace with and satisfied within yourself.

I feel that one of your major challenges is to not to try to force your relationship with him to fit into a mould or time schedule of your own making. You have a clear image of how you would like your relationship to be, but your relationship is never going to conform exactly to your romantic specifications. But that does not automatically mean that the relationship has either failed, ended or that it is without any future.

Has your relationship completely failed?

NO!

Has the plan which the Universe has for your lives failed?

NO!

Have either of you done anything wrong?

NO!

Has your relationship ended?

NO!

Has your highly romanticised image of exactly how a relationship should progress according to your own time schedule and personal specifications and requirements failed?

YES!

Is there any hope that your relationship still has a future?

ABSOLUTELY YES!

And finally.........



ONLY IF YOU ALLOW YOUR ROMANTIC PRECONCEPTIONS OF HOW ANY RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN MUST NECESSARILY IN YOUR OPINION PROGRESS, STAND IN YOUR WAY.

If you allow your preconceptions as to exactly how a relationship must in your own mind progress stand in your way, the answer to this question is probably YES.

But if you do not allow your romantic preconceptions about what a "normal" relationship should be get in your way, the answer to that same question is almost certainly NO.

Be kinder to yourself.

EoT [In the spiritual sense of the meaning of the word love)

Hey, thanks EOT, and I agree and think that you may be absolutely right. I have been thinking a lot lately actually about what I want and what I need from this part of my life, and I've realized lately that although I liked him, I have to be honest with myself that there was a few things that I wasn't really happy with in the situation that I overlooked. For one thing, although I don't think he even really realized or was fully aware how much of an issue it can create..... I honestly think he has a weed addiction/ addictive presonality. Don't get me wrong, I am probably one of the most liberal people you will ever meet, and I have absolutely no problem with him doing it, and in fact I do it quite often myself... but once it gets to the point where we make plans, and he ends up canceling being basically "I'm sorry but I'm too stoned to be good company," ... even every now and then if it happens I wouldn't mind.. but it was like a CONSTANT thing, and began to get extremely frustrating after a while. I want someone who wants to be with me fully, and can give me what I need and deserve. However, it's still really really hard and I'm hurting so much.

However, recently he has been contacting me (we broke up maybe a few days ago to a week) and is taking everything back, how he made a hige mistake, saying  how much he misses and cares about me, and is realizing where he went wrong and is very willing to work to change. But I'm not sure how I feel about the situation anymore. Don't get me wrong, I care about him so much and feel the same way, all I want to do is get back with him and have a good relstionship, and I miss him SO much...but at the same time I was really hurt and my trust was broken a lot by him initiating this. I'm at least going to need a few days to think about this.

I'm also just extremely frustrated,,, putting so much time and emotional investment into someone where it was really good and he worked really hard to gain my love and trust,, and then have it go nowhere. It was kind of a shock. And I'm feeling mostly frustrated because I'm also just like... okay if this awesome relationship with this guy didn't work out.... where the hell IS my guy? I just want to be happy. I want him to be happy. I want a good healthy,mature relationship with a guy where we are just meant for eachother, where we have a lot of mutual respect with eachother, where we can just be like best friends, and no matter what just be goofy and fun with eachother, and be able to be honest with eachother and talk easily, while at the same time having a lot of chemistry, passion, and connection. I want a guy who absolutely adores me and only wants to be with me, and I him.... and will put in an effort to be with me. I did have these things, and now I am just left feeling suddenly very disappointed. :(

Thanks for your kind words, always appreciated

-Teresa

Dear Teresa,

You are very welcome for any assistance rendered.

I appreciate in return your very complete and useful feedback, as it helps me to progressively improve both the accuracy and helpfulness of my readings over an extended period of time.

It also helps me to better understand the life situation where you are coming from, which in turn gives me some clues as to how to best help you in future readings on this forum.

I only just realized that I have been giving readings on this site for more than four years now, and am wondering where all that time has gone.

It really does not seem to be as long as four years, because I have enjoyed myself too much to really care exactly how long it has been.

What I have personally gained during those 48 plus months in terms of creating good feelings and new and long lasting friendships in the process, no amount of money could ever hope to equal.



I could and would never do that!  

I am not here to make myself into your judge, jury and executioner, but rather I am here firstly as your friend, and secondly as your reader.

Thank you for the great privilege of allowing me to share this relatively small part of your total journey towards greater self understanding and self compassion with you.

Blessed be,

EoT