Hi I hope everyone is doing well.

I received a great reading about 6 months ago and was told that I would have to wait for another 6 months (when my deployed husband would be back), in which is he:).

I was wondering what is in store for me and my husband now that he is back home? We have a 10 month old daughter and just got a new apartment. We are a young couple ready to start our lives together with our daughter. Although I am bit nervous which is normal I think I am going in with a positive attitude. If I can get a reading it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your time.

It is wonderful news to hear that your husband has since returned from his period of deployment in Afghanistan in a state of relatively good health in spite of his ordeal, and now ready to pick up the pieces from where he left off with his family, before he went.

Yet all three of us recognise that people are forever changed by their life experiences, so in a strange sort of way the man who returned to you from Afghanistan is not and can never be exactly the same man who left you behind minding the fort all those six months ago.

His new daughter would have only been approximately four months old at the time that he left, and although I am certain that you have been regularly updating him as much as possible concerning major milestones in your daughter's development having been reached while he was away (assuming that you could relatively easily communicate with him during the period by some means), he has a lot of catching up to do as well.

Such an extended period of separation from one's growing family and emotional support network, especially under such highly stressful conditions as he has just undergone must change a person in some way, and according to your family reading your main challenge will be to more fully come to terms and effectively deal with whatever these changes might be.

Some of them surprisingly in the light of all the bloodshed and loss of valiant lives for the cause of peace will be positive ones.

The feeling of fervent patriotism this has prompted and the inner satisfaction of knowing that he has served both his country and his family with courage and distinction have made him a better man within himself in so many different ways which are not available to those of us who have never been in such a dangerous situation.

But it would be insulting your intelligence and highly disrespectful to your husband for me to tell you that everything will be without its challenges as he rebuilds his life as well as the life of his family, in an environment which could not be any more different from the one in Afghanistan than if he had instead spent the last six months on the moon.

You could even say that he would be feeling alienated or like an alien being who has been unceremoniously marooned on an alien planet where everyone around him seems to be speaking a completely different language, and be wanting things which he no longer sees as being anywhere near as important as is his close relationships with those people he loves most.

Suddenly all of those problems and family arguments you may have had with him before he left have been put into a completely different and significantly reduced perspective by the potentially devastating emotional and spiritual impact of what he saw over there on a daily or perhaps hourly basis.

What seemed to be a major difficulty or difference of opinions does not seem to matter as much any more? He is back with his family and equally importantly physically still in one piece, and he is therefore not going to be so willing to waste valuable time and energy fighting about what is now to be regarded as of minimal to zero importance in comparison.

Both your positive starting your young family's life all over again for the better attitudes and approaches to life's obstacles during the next six months covered by this reading will stand you in good stead in in the medium to long term future, although roughly between now and late January of next year, your ability to regain your balance and inner composure as a family will most likely be tested to the limit.

Your reading is emphasising the vital importance of you showing as much patience and compassion towards yourself as you will towards your spouse over the next six months, as your new daughter is highly dependent on everything going reasonably well overall.

Children are fortunately much more resilient than we often imagine that they are in the face of adversity, but as long as they know that their parents love each other as well as them and that they are committed to making it work, then neither of you should be feeling guilty when now and then their needs must temporarily take back seat to your own.

In other words on average kids are much more tough and more able to adapt to rapid and sudden changes happening around them when compared to most adults, so do not feel that unless you are always the "perfect parent"under your own terms of the meaning of what a perfect parent is, that they will be psychologically scarred for life and that it will all be your fault.

When your daughter is 18 and looks back upon this period of her life with the luxury of hindsight, I am sure that she will recognise that you both did your very best to protect her as much as possible from the bumps of life, and that she does not therefore have to always be perfect either.

It is a humbling but at the same time liberating experience to be made aware that your parents were never in the past or will never be in the future infallible or perfect. It in turn gives a young adult permission to be more fully human, warts and all?  

The tendency towards perfectionism and wanting to be seen by everyone else as superhuman is a curse which all three of you could well do without throughout your entire remaining lifetimes. Do what you feel is best for all three of you over the next six months, but do not when attempting to do it perfectly to protect your daughter either kill yourselves and your marriage or alternately forget what is really of greatest importance to all families in the process - your enduring love for each other.

Do not allow as so often happens wasteful arguments concerning relative trivia and nitpicking or scoring points against each other destroy your family's foundation. If it is felt to be needed, get whatever professional service related help, advice and support you can access or afford, with the positive intention to make smoother your path between now and then.

Keep your faith and courage.

Loving regards to you and your family, from me and mine,

EoT

Sorry it took a while to respond; I am in the process of moving out with my husband and daughter into a bigger place:) Thank you for your time reading and for responding. We are very happy and continue to stay that way.

God bless and have a beautiful day!

Not a problem Annaisa,

Better late than never: I always say.

It was my pleasure to read for you and I was happy to receive some good news for a change, as one of the downsides of helping people on these forums is that you can easily come to believe that good news no longer exists out there in the real world beyond the internet.

I always enjoy a happy ending, and it appears that life and lady luck are definitely smiling on your family, as you move into not only a new and more positive phase of your lives, both as individuals as well as a united family, but also another house which is more consistent with your constantly changing needs and provides you with enough available floor area for each member of your growing family to have their own personal space.

Wishing you all the very best of life and love in your next home and in this next exciting but also challenging stage of your lives as a family,

EoT