My name is Ray and I was very popular with the girls in my youth and regret some of the decisions I made then because hurt them carelessly. Now I am 48, single, and never married. I have changed into the polar opposite of what I once was and now I am the one taking the beating. Over and over and over. I changed my ways more then 20 years ago. Am I ever going to find happiness in my love life? Is there anything I should be doing differently? Or is it just karma from the past keeping my love life this way?

That is not how karma works.  But there is natural law and what goes around, comes around.  Has the change actually taken place? Or are you still misjudging your own particular actions?

You see there is only one person can change you and that is you yourself.  So when the changes take place, then the environment they existed in will change.  Are you still sure there has been change?

Yes, I am sure I have changed. I am not the careless, immature, selfish boy I once was long ago. The environment has also changed dramatically. I honestly couldn't be more sure.

Thank you for your time and energy it is very much appreciated.

When the secret (movie and book) came out everyone jumped on it and said how we could create our own environment and attract all that we wanted.  It was also very focused on wealth.  And then it didn't happen.  Perhaps we could consider why not?

It takes a long time to put character flaws in place.  It takes a long time to remove them.  Nothing happens because we wish it so.  It only happens when we continue, even when the situation seems lost, to be the better person.

I am reminded of the dos and don'ts of weight loss.  It took a long time to put it all in place.  We welcomed and lived with it for a long time.  Then we diet and most of us would like it to disappear as soon as our mind tells us it would be healthier to be lighter.  But it doesn't disappear so quickly.  It took a long time to arrive, it will take just as long to depart.  

In the midst of our success in this endeavour, we find we are continuing to do what is needful, but we are stuck at a plateau.  Is it realistic to expect more change?  What do we do to spark more change?  

Prayer added to the mix is not about - God do this or that.  It is more about God help me follow the plan set up for me to follow.  And just as a thought it works best to express your wishes, dreams, goals and then leave them in God's inbox.  We might stop trying to tell God how to accomplish the task.  After all, if we knew, we would not have called on the help in the first place.  The most sincere prayer:  God help me.