i messaged him on facebook twice. he hasnt replied at all. his name is Bret and he's 24 like me. i dont know why he hasnt gotten back to me, maybe he has a girlfriend, or he's gay, or he is just disgusted by me, i dont know. but i thought he would be the nice type of guy to at least be flattered by my message and say hi. *shrugs* maybe he's still thinking of messaging me back and is too shy, could you please enlighten me on why he hasnt gotten around to messaging me? he's the only guy named Bret that i have ever known and i went to catholic grade school with him up to 8th grade. thanks in advance.

No because in order to do this I would have to directly read his thoughts and intentions towards you through a third party reading, which I am not allowed to do according to the forum rules about giving readings for people other than the member who made the request, in this case YOU.

Firstly there are a host of other possible reasons why your childhood friend Bret has not responded to your messages, with only one of them being that he does not want to have anything to do with you romantically. Do you know for a fact that he has been online to respond to your messages? It is quite possible that he is shy about getting back to you.

But to then extrapolate the simple observation that he has not responded yet to him being gay, disgusted by you, or necessarily already having a girlfriend is only you negatively using your imagination, or attempting to read his mind, which human beings in general including most readers are absolutely hopeless at doing.

The problem here is that you do not have any reliable information based upon solid evidence to help explain why Bret has not responded to your social networking messages within a given period of time, so your negative imagination is trying to fill in the gap by coming up with every possibility it can, and in the process destroying any sense of self confidence you might still have.

Because I cannot read him directly, I do not know whether any of these reasons your imagination is coming up with has anything to do with reality. And neither do you. The only reliable way to solve your problem would be to bypass waiting for him on the Web and see if there is another more direct face to face way to contact him.

You need to get the facts of the matter either directly from Bret or some common friend as to whether he received your message at all. Could it be that something else at the moment is happening in his life which is stopping him from contacting or responding to your message?  

Could it be that his computer is not working? Unless you get solid information, your negative imagination will it is felt continue to fill in the gaps by catastrophizing or painting pictures in your mind which may bear no resemblance at all to the truth.

Is there some other way that you could get the solid facts and communicate with Bret so that you could allow your negative imagination to take a long rest break, as at the moment it is being seriously overworked and probably making a mountain out of a molehill?

He may or may not already have a girlfriend. Did you expect or ask him to wait for you after you both finished 8th grade? He may not even remember you from 8th grade. Did you make some written agreement about you both not going out with anyone else in the meantime? It has been at least 10 years since 8th grade. Time and our lives move on.

Check out your facts first before assuming anything about him or the possible reasons why he has not immediately got back to you over the internet, before you drive yourself crazy with unnecessary worries that do not line up with what are really the reasons for his apparent silence.

With due respect to your womanly feelings, if a lawyer presented a case to a judge and jury with the same lack of solid evidence as you have for assuming Bret is rejecting you, then he would quickly be laughed out of court and the accused would go free whether or not he was guilty.

Close human relationships are far too important to be conducted exclusively by mind reading? Get some solid facts or evidence before immediately jumping to any premature conclusions about Bret's true motives for not contacting you by your own deadline.

Be kinder to yourself and give your negative imagination an extended holiday.

Get the facts lady!

EoT  

yeah he's in a facebook group for the school and year we went to and im in it too, with 18 other people who graduated 8th grade (50 people in total), so yes he does remember me.

The operative word in the above sentence was may, instead of he will not remember you.



That is at least a common place for you both to start from in order to build a relationship upon (you are school friends), but it does not of course mean that he must necessarily be interested in you romantically after all this time, or that it changes in any way the insights coming out of your reading.

Once again you are being advised to find out for sure in person in contrast to only through Facebook what his real feelings are for you, instead of you trying to guess this, read his mind or allow your negative imagination to get completely out of control and possibly spoil any chances you might have had of making your relationship work.

EoT