Dear Sindy,
As I already promised in your earlier thread, this reading will be focused exclusively on helping you to get through this particularly difficult time in your life as you grieve for the loss of someone very special to you. I sense that this man was and still is very close to you, even though he is now in Spirit.
Actually I would go so far as to say that with many of the barriers which prevented you from fully enjoying your relationship with each other while he was still living on Earth, he is closer to you now than ever before. I feel that the psychic tie between you is so close and strong that I almost feel embarrassed to be possibly seen as psychically eavesdropping on something quite beautiful, which is clearly sacred and deeply personal.
Although I am not a trained medium and therefore sadly cannot directly pass onto you a message from him as such, there are some things in our lives and the lives of others, which mere words simply cannot adequately express (and the sheer depth your relationship is one of them). If you were not lovers in your current lifetime, then you almost certainly were in one or more past life experiences. I truly believe that you will meet him again, although the relationship may be very different next time.
I think that the idea of someone being one of your soulmates (as we may have several of these in any specific lifetime) has been so overdone and abused to extremes, that I am now hesitant to apply it to you and him, but it is like you were made for each other in order to teach you that when it comes down to it, much of what we worry about and fight over is a waste of valuable time and energy, and that there are far more important issues which deserve our attention.
Being someone's soulmate (if I am forced to use that term) does not automatically guarantee that your personalities will be 100% compatible with one another, or that you will always agree with what they do or say. What many people do not realise or understand is that most soulmates meet over and over again in a series of lifetimes, precisely because they have outstanding and often long running compatibility issues with the other person, and that this lifetime is yet another valuable opportunity to resolve some of these interpersonal difficulties, and then to eventually allow bygones to be bygones. To restore some sense of peace and harmony to what had been up until recently a relationship where not everything had been running as smoothly as you would have preferred them to.
If there is to be a main message behind this intuitive relationship reading, as your relationship with this man did not suddenly end when he left his physical body, it is that he holds no grudges or wants you to feel that you owe him something in letting in down. When we are grieving it is all too easy to think that we should have not done or said what we did to them when they were physically with us (or that we should have done or said it, but didn't), as if we feel that by punishing ourselves we can turn back time as if this had never happened.
I feel that he wants to set you right about this possibility, as the only person it appears to be holding back is yourself. He is moving on with things on the higher side of life, and he does not want you to feel that in any way you let him down, or that you did something wrong. He does not want you to endlessly carry the huge burden of guilt around with you for the rest of your life, for something of which you were never guilty in the first place.
He wants to lift a huge load of worry off your shoulders, by assuring you that nobody could ever have meant so much to him as you did, and still do. He wants you to be able to more fully enjoy the rest of your Earthly years and to think about what wonderful memories you have in common, and to honour and respect his memory by being all that you can possibly be.
Indirectly through your ongoing relationship with him, instead of directly as a medium would, the main message I am getting is one of his love and caring for your future, and not one of blaming or holding any grudges against you, as he had his own role or to play in any difficulties which developed between you while he was here, and many of the things that you are punishing yourself about were never under your control. You surely cannot hold yourself responsible for something which was unconscious and to a large degree therefore by definition beyond your control,.
Can you, or do you still?
This reading and indirectly the message I am getting from him but not in the form of words is that he wants you to put these self punishing guilt feelings aside, even though he knows that doing this will be a major challenge for you, and free up the considerable amounts of energy which are being used to fuel these doubts and fears and guilt, so that it can be used more productively to get you through the worst of this. The parting message is that if you feel like crying, that tears of grief are an important way that our bodies get rid of potentially harmful substances so that they do not poison us.
So anyone who tells you not to cry about this when you need to or that you should be happy instead of crying for this man because he is free of all pain and troubles, or that there are many people who have worse problems than you so why should you be complaining are to be avoided at all costs. It is people like these who are TOXIC? Losing someone close and dear to you to death is not surprisingly regarded as the number one stressor of all time.
Even if we know that it is coming (did you), it is a terrible shock to our bodies, minds, emotions and spirit, and one from which we must slowly but surely recover in our own unique way. Tears of grief are one of the most valuable emotional release tools we have in our survival toolkits, so guard your right to cry when you want or need to, as it could well make the difference between you being able to get through this, or losing it.
We do not treat people who are in severe shock by stopping them from getting relief from and healing, so why do we so often do exactly that to those who are recently bereaved? It seems so cruel and inhuman to me that we would even consider doing such a heartless and insensitive thing, but many of us sometimes with the best of intentions still do it. Instead we should be doing everything in our power to encourage and support that person's own efforts to help themselves heal from the shock which they have received to their very life force.
Love, Light and Healing to you both,
eye_of_tiger
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