Hi EOT,

 In this current relationship, I have always given and have got back more demands from my husband. Will he ever be an honest and loving person?

  Why does he always misbehave with me when I demand some understanding and maturity?

ClearQuartz

Welcome CQ,  

Firstly we wanted you to know that we are taking your questions very seriously indeed, and are both highly sensitive to how difficult and painful it must be for you to confront these uncomfortable feelings you are having about the man whom we sense you are still so deeply in love with.

You have asked my inner guidance and myself (hence the use of the words "we" and "both" above) the following questions about your husband (not yourself).



Requesting a reading about any person other than yourself is defined as being "third party", and is unfortunately not allowed according to the forum rules.

"Please Read Before Requesting a Reading"

Quote:

12. Please do not ask for readings for others or third party readings as this is strictly against Mystic Board’s policies. Instead ask the person to join Mystic Board themselves, once they have contributed to the community by posting and introducing themselves they are much more likely to receive a successful reading in return.

Since we feel that it is hardly likely that your spouse is going to also become a registered member of this forum, our only available option in order to give you a reading about this would be to turn your questions around so that they focus entirely upon yourself, and in the process removing any suggestion that the reading could be regarded as being third party.

Instead of directly reading your husband's thoughts and intentions towards you, it is possible instead to read them indirectly through his relationship with you. While this does remove the possibility that this will be seen as a third party reading, any predictions or insights which come through using this method are generally nowhere as reliable as if the third party route had been open to us.

So we will be able to give you a reading about this, but not based upon your original questions as they currently stand. Note also that readings of the type given by us on this forum are only thought to refer to the next six months or so.

Our suggestions for what you may feel that they are worth are to change those two questions to something similar to what follows.

1. "Do you feel that I will be able to learn to trust and love my husband enough again, in order to be able to heal our marriage?"

2. "What practical steps can I personally take to encourage instead of demanding him to show both the level of understanding and maturity which I recognised in him when we first fell in love with one another?"

Notice that demanding anything from or of him at this point in time is only likely to give you the complete opposite result of the one you are wanting. He could very well interpret any force used by you as a personal attack on his fragile male ego, and he will in return defend himself in any way which he possibly can. So please for your own safety (and equally the safety of any young children whom you might have living with you) be careful making demands of or any accusations against him which are not supported by solid evidence, as we really do not know what he is capable of if you did this. Your health, safety and welfare at all times are our highest priority in offering you well intended advice through a reading.

If you are happy to go ahead using these modified questions and have also read and have acted upon forum rule number one, which concerns new members such as yourself making a request for a reading as their very first posting on these MB forums, then we would be pleased to do this for you once you have let us know that you are ready for your reading under this thread.

We look forward to hearing from you again very soon.

Yours respectfully,

EoT

EOT,

 Thanks for the time and understanding that you have shown towards me. I happy to get the new questions, my original questions re-phrased by you,  answered.

ClearQuartz.

Excellent!

Please see my response to your introduction.



EoT  

Dear ClearQuartz,  

During the next six months covered by this reading there will be many opportunities for you to do this, but he must also play his important role in clearly demonstrating to you both through his words and actions that he is once more worthy of the trust and love you have and feel for him. We feel that there have been some deep wounds developing between you as husband and wife and that these are not going to be easily removed within the relatively short period of six months, but that during this period you could if he co-operated establish a firm foundation on which you could rebuild your feelings of trust and love for him over the longer term. We do not think that this task will be impossible (if we did, we would tell you so), but it would be irresponsible and cruel of us to attempt to deceive you into thinking that it is going to be a bed of roses.

Because we cannot directly read his thoughts and intentions towards you and your relationship through a third party reading, your husband will forever remain the biggest unknown X factor in this equation. All your own efforts and if necessary whatever professional support you get to help you through this difficult period are most likely going to come to nothing without your partner first admitting that he is a large part of your problems as a married couple. But that does not necessarily mean that you should prematurely give up trying because at first he is hesitant to play his part in the healing process, as once his love for you finally takes over from his fears of losing you forever, your reading strongly suggests that your chances of getting him on your side or way of thinking will as a result increase exponentially or through the roof.  



Basically you can only give him one or more opportunities to clearly show you through his actions and words that he still has the same level of understanding and even greater maturity which attracted you to him in the first place as your future life partner. Then he has to take maximum advantage of the opportunities which you offer him as a gift of love and out of your ongoing desire to restore a reasonable and workable level of trust, understanding and relative peace to your marriage once again. You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink. While it is perfectly human for you to think that if he is not able or willing to do this then that is a sign of your failure, and not his, don't you believe it for one moment, as we never would judge you as any lesser of a person for feeling that you are at breaking point or that you can only take so much of this and no more from the man you love.

What you are looking for here is not perfection, but a slow but sure improvement in your relationship in general over time. One sign that you are going in the right direction is a return to you both wanting to be physically intimate with each other, but the act of physical love by itself will never be enough to turn your relationship around in a more positive direction. But the sexual chemistry it can generate if you are really making love and not just having sex would certainly not do any harm to your recovery, and could in combination with renewed feelings of trust and mutual commitment make a significant positive difference in healing those deep wounds sooner rather than much later.

So in summary while we are unable to list every individual, practical way of you achieving this healing as to do this we would first need a detailed picture of all your and your husband's personal likes and dislikes, your reading is telling us loudly and clearly that anything which you can reasonably do to offer your husband the best possible opportunity to show you both through his words and actions (it is critically important that one lines up with the other if trust is to be restored) that he deserves to be loved and trusted will be just what your inner doctor ordered. And for him to be seen to have at least the same level of understanding and maturity or better, when compared to what he was like when you first met each other all those months or years ago.

Hoping that this reading has at least in some small way helped you to be less confused as to what you should do on your deeply personal, ongoing quest to save your marriage.

Take good care of yourself and each other for what you have in abundance as a married couple is worth trying your very best to save.

Love, Light and Healing,

EoT