Hi,

I wasn't aware that you can't ask for a relationship reading with 3d party, so if someone could give me a general reading about love, I would be glad for that:)

Hello Annek,

Telling you directly if he is happy with your relationship would necessarily require a third party reading to be given, which is not allowed under the forum rules.



Since I hardly think that your guy is likely to become a registered member and request a reading in person from us any time soon, we would need to use the more indirect method of giving you your relationship reading, which turns the focus of responsibility back upon you to make whatever changes you can in yourself in order to help him to see what he would be missing, if he were to lose you.

This means that you do not have to change your question or do anything else for that matter between now and your relationship reading soon to follow.

Yes you will definitely have your reading, but your question will be changed by me to something more like the following, instead of the original.

"What can I practically do or change within myself during the next six months, to help make him see what he would be missing if he were to lose or leave me?"

Much better, and much more readable, IMHO!

EoT  

Hi, i edited my original post a bit if that's oki lol:) I actually didn't see your reply before I edited:)

Annek,  

With due respect to your right to decide what your question will be, why request a general love reading which can be vague and the luck of the draw, when you could have a more detailed reading about the issue you are currently most concerned about?

While general readings give the reader's inner guidance more options to select from in the way of the subject matter to be treated, they are at the same time often just that - general and not nearly as focused as most people would prefer them to be.

So if you do not mind, I will base your reading on the more specific question which I suggested earlier, and leave your general reading, until after I have looked at this one to help you.



Note carefully that this reading equally applies to you whether you are already in an existing relationship which through no fault of your own is presently going stale, or whether you might over the next few months be reunited with a male friend from your own past. Not from a past life, but from earlier in this current one.

Now a good relationship counsellor could undoubtedly offer you much wider and more professional advice than I could as your reader, so I am not going to bore you or insult your intelligence by repeating what such a person is much better qualified to.

I only wish that there was a 100% reliable method or magic formula which I could offer you to help you to better understand him as well as yourself, to the point that your happy relationship would become automatically a fait accompli.



But I have quite enough trouble understanding myself at times to then act as an authority about this, and try to impress you with my brilliance.

Based upon your reading and in the context of this changed question, my impressions are that the most practical thing you could ever do to offer yourself the maximum possible chance of him wanting to never leave you either now or in the future is to discover mainly by trial and error when to push things along in the right direction when your intuition tells you that it is time, and when to back off and allow him to feel that he is not being pressured into something he is not prepared to do before he is good and ready.

The sensitive and delicate balance required between these two extremes could often easily make you feel that you are effectively walking on egg shells (you need to carefully watch your step or put yourself in imminent danger of breaking his fragile male ego.

This whole thing is about an ongoing but wasted struggle by him to feel in control of the situation at all times, and to be the person who will make all the important decisions in your partnership that could potentially negativity impact on you.

If he detects even a slight hint of a suggestion that you are trying to control or manipulate him (when this was never your intention), then he will be off like a shot in the opposite direction, before you can dot your i's or cross your t's.

He is as a result highly likely to feel as though he is being personally attacked (and by a woman no less), and he could respond by going on the defensive and push you way from him that much more than he is already doing.

Because I cannot use the more direct third party route, I must instead go indirectly through his relationship (or lack thereof) with the valued member who requested this reading, aka you.

This necessarily means that any predictions made using this more indirect method will also unfortunately be somewhat less reliable than if third party had been allowed. So I am not going to attempt to predict with any reasonable degree of certainty, with special reference to what he might or might not do if he does feel pressured by you into taking your relationship to the next level, when he is not yet on the same level as you..

At present I sense that any true affection which exists between you is very one sided from you to him. You feel that you are ready to get to know him better. He probably feels that you are already getting too close. The nasty big C word here which he could be avoiding at all cost is not cancer, but rather it could be commitment.

As soon as you get too close for his comfort and suggest that it is time that he settled down in one place and took his responsibilities as a man as well as a provider seriously enough and was committed enough to want to make the necessary improvements in himself, he turns tail and runs. It is not that he is a bad person or that he would not make a fairly decent partner for you under the ideal conditions, but this world and life are usually anything but being close to ideal.

I feel that effective and honest two way communication has temporarily been lost between you, but that if you play your cards right that your relationship is recoverable and able to be healed over the longer with some fairly intensive inner work on both your parts.

The most practical thing you could possibly do over the next six months in order to accomplish what you have set out to do - to first establish and second maintain a loving, caring, respectful relationship of the heart with this guy

Loving regards,

EoT  

Thanks a lot for the reading:)

I agree with all parts of the reading, that's how I sometimes feel.
The commitment thing I feel is very true, he went out of a long term relationship just 2 months before we got together..
But I feel he needs a bit more space right now as well. So we'll see what happens.