things ended horribly with Justin. we dated for about 2 months, he said he loved me all the time. i will never stop loving him, i love him unconditionally. i know he doesnt really love me much but i didnt care. he wants to sleep with tons of girls to make up for lost time for when he was a shy nerdy virgin in highschool and college and he doesnt think im his soulmate anymore. he was sometimes verbally abusive to me and got easily hurt or embarrassed.

i wanna know if you see me dating anyone else in a few months. I thought about messaging this guy named Bret B. who i went to catholic grade school with when i was younger, and message him on facebook.com, i dont know if he would wanna date me.

another guy i can never really stop thinking about is a guy named Richard, he has blue eyes and i worked with him when i was younger. a few years ago, he used to drive past my house in a white car. i could see him in my window, one time he parked in front of my house for a while. i have no way of contacting him, but i think he's my soulmate. when i looked into his eyes, i felt this feeling that i never felt before. i was confused and scared at the time so i just tried to ignore it.

I can the feel the pain and confusion that runs through this message and request.
The answer is yes you will have love at some point in your life however you need to know a couple of things.

1.  For people to love you, you need to love and treasure yourself.  IF YOU DO NOT, ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WILL BE ABUSIVE.

2.  Its ok to be single and going from relationship to relationship and looking at people as boyfriend material is not good for you.

This is not a reading, this is just some advise from an old woman who has learned a few things in life.

Much love to you.

Suzi XXX

Hi Suzi,

It is wonderful to once more see you posting to the board, but I was rather taken back about your comment about you being "an old woman" at the tender age of 41. If being 41 makes you old, what hope is there left for yours truly at 58? Now I do realise that age is relative (compared to 23) and we are as old as we believe we are and that you were making the point that with age often comes experience and an increased knowledge of life, but after reading this I am nervously checking out my will and funeral plan as we speak, just in case they both need a last minute update.

Hello Heart,  

I completely agree with and fully support all that Suzi has told you in her reading which she does not regard as being one simply because she did not happen use Tarot cards or another divination tool as part of the process (I really do believe that we need to more carefully redefine where friendly and well intended advice ends, and a reading begins). It is my feeling that Suzi "read" your situation very accurately and in her usual respectful and always acutely sensitive to your feelings manner.

I was so deeply impressed by the advice/reading she offered you, that I would like to if I may use the following point one as the basis or foundation for my reading. It is clear however that I cannot improve on what has been so wisely said, but only to help you understand it at a deeper level.

The part of Suzi's considered response to which I am referring was and I quote......



Could I simply add here that if you do not love and treasure yourself, that potentially your relationships could continue to be abusive? It does not necessarily mean that if you have not yet completely reached the advanced stage of loving yourself as unconditionally as you claim to feel for these men who have done you such a great disservice, that you are forever condemned or destined to continue to be abused indefinitely, or at least until your time on Earth is finally over.

What is being asked of you would no doubt about it be a big ask for a person who has been made to feel that she does not deserve any better and that she consequently has no right to expect it, and it is felt that if you start to believe on top of everything else that if you are not yet 100% there in learning to love and respect yourself that you are doomed to a life of ongoing abuse then this could easily become a self fulfilling prophecy. What you have to recognise before it is too late to heal your inner wounds is that what is possible and what on the other hand is probable or likely, are often two completely different things.

Effectively anything which conforms to or obeys the Universal Laws of which we presently have a pathetically poor and limited knowledge and understanding is possible. But the advice and readings offered on this forum deal not with what is possible, but rather with what is probable or likely, beyond what would otherwise be expected by random chance (50 - 50).

Now I know that this must seem a play on words or appear to have very little to do if at all with your question, but actually it has everything to do with it.



The possibility that you will be dating another man during the next six months thought to be covered by this reading is it is felt exceptionally high (near to 100%). The need to feel loved and respected for being the person we already are and to share the love we feel in our hearts with someone special is perhaps our greatest spiritual and physical need, and if this need is not filled or satisfied by a loving and mature close human relationship, then we will often settle for second or third best in the face of our fears of being left alone and unloved for all of our remaining years. Because of this ongoing need of yours to to fill the emptiness left by you not loving yourself enough, any available person in trousers can easily look and feel like one of your "soul mates".

This springs out of your almost endless faith and hope that the next relationship is going to be a better one. It must be a better one, mustn't it? Any change must surely be an improvement? But without you also doing the inner work that Suzi was talking about in learning what self love really is, the probability that the next man and relationship within the next six months will be a significant improvement compared to those you have endured up until now is less than 50%, but not as you may have come to believe by that statement zero.

So based upon your reading I feel that the possibility that you will be in another relationship during the next six months is reasonably high, but the chances or probability that it will be any better than those you had in the past with special reference to no longer being abused and mistreated could equally go in one of two poles apart directions. It is currently split 50- 50?

That is what I feel needs to be emphasised on top of Suzi's generalisation which appears to be saying that only 100% unconditional self love will be enough for you to expect anything better out of life and love in the future. Which of these two directions your love destiny will eventually take will be largely determined by you rejecting any suggestion that this is completely beyond your control as your partner or a psychic told you that it was (either intentionally or unintentionally). For too long you have been unknowingly giving over your personal power to decide what or whom you want in your life to someone else, such as a string of partners, parents, teachers, concerned friend and family members etc.

Now you are doing much the same thing by asking this question as a request for a reading. If you continue to buy into your abusive partner's cat and mouse games with your womanly feelings of self confidence and self respect, and take any psychic predictions as being the gospel truth, I can see that the road ahead of you is not going to be an easy one by any means (I never said it would be impossible).

I am not saying this with the intention to make you feel even more inadequate to the task or guilty or ashamed or to put you down (quite the opposite), but rather to help you to be more empowered within your future relationships, and heal the wounds you still carry around with you from those in the past. Do not always give everybody's opinions or advice as to what is right or best for you, a higher priority than your own.

Listen to their advice as even the worst of it may contain a gem of wisdom, but consider it afterwards in a balanced way against what you think and feel is the best possible course of action for you to take. Do not constantly confuse well intended and caring advice with malicious outside interference in your own private and/or love life. Listen to both your mind and heart to help you sort out one from the other.

The reading now draws to an end by encouraging you to seek professional help if it is needed to heal and love yourself more (self love = to value and respect yourself for already being the wonderful and loving woman you already are, without always having a man there 24/7 to remind you of this). Once again this is your decision alone. The only reason this is being brought up is that your reading is telling me that this is by now such a long lasting and deeply entrenched repeating way of thinking about your powerlessness and lack of rights within any relationship, that it is felt that professional help could make all the positive difference between you having a relatively smooth recovery from the incredible damage these men have done to your heart and soul, and a long drawn out period of unhappiness and frustration where you may continually feel that you are getting nowhere fast.

You deserve only the best out of love and life in my opinion, and therefore why not get all the professional and non professional (including intuitive/psychic) help and support you can get and afford, as part of your ongoing quest to find the man who would consider himself to be the luckiest man alive to be loved by a passionate woman such as yourself? A woman BTW who has so much love to offer a man who is both able and willing to love and respect her more than she will in all likelihood ever learn to love and respect herself.

God bless,

EoT  

Hey EOT.
Thanks for the comments, you made me smile.
I think I was leaving the way for you to do your magic
Your message is very thoughtful.

You don't need to clutch your will just yet XXXX

SuziXXX

thanks guys. i really should work on my self-esteem/self-worth. as soon as i started to, justin started to act a little different around me, he actually started to become too clingy but i do know what you guys are trying to tell me...

im so tempted to message bret on facebook though lol i mean even being just friends with bret would be great.