I've started to eat more raw food and get some natural supplements with many nutrients, minerals, vitamins. I do a bit of energy work from time to time but my life is still in a turmoil so i can't have a good schedule to hold on to. I feel much better physical, i need alot less sleep then before and i try to change my life as much as i can for the better. It's a slow process but i think it's kinda getting there, or at least i hope to. I try to change all my bad habbits with good ones and also my views on "life" to fit not as much as the illusions but the fundamental laws of God.

It was a good month but ended up in what i believe to be the sh****est thing that ever happened to me.

I'll make some orgonite this days and try to use it to clense my home and protect myself as i'm in almost constant attack from something, and i got so tired of it, of this whatever it is eating my mind and soul, polluting my home and thoughts.

I feel the same about the current state of our society based on what seems to be a western civilization scheme of material abundance and spiritual/moral decay. We ride fast on the highway to hell and seems no one wants to stop the bus to get off. maybe it's to late. It really scares me because this won't end well no matter how much wishful thinking it's engaged in it, the enemy overwhelmed the good people of this world and at least at this low levels where we live, seems to me he is pulling the strings. Long chat about this but to cut it short, it gives me the chills every time i think about it.

I'm pulling my current career to an end and i struggle to start a new thing but money are tight, time is short and it's like swimming blind into the big ocean.

I feel like **** right now, chat to you later. Thank you for everything.

Hey you are doing your best

To be honest I very nearly missed your posting entirely because it was at the end of a thread which I was no longer monitoring, but in spite of this I do hope that things will be improving for you soon in many areas.

The potentially lethal combination of being in imminent danger of becoming unemployed (or already without a job), not having enough money to pay the bills and live reasonably comfortably, and feeling as though you are no longer able to keep your head above the water and are drowning in hopelessness and negativity is especially well known to seriously compromise our body's and mind's normal immune or defence mechanisms.

One at a time each of these emotional assaults on our faith in life and in ourselves may still be treatable, but having them all together at the same time can try the courage and patience even of a saint, let alone mere mortals including the two of us.

If you currently feel like excrement then you are wise not to continually focus on such depressing matters, but rather to take a temporary rest break on a regular basis.

The fallacy that real men do not cry is not only complete nonsense, but it is also incredibly harmful to our physical health as tears of despair contain certain toxic chemicals which if they were allowed to accumulate in our bodies could readily finish us, when compared to tears of laughter or joy which are free of these substances.

So if you need anyone's permission go away and cry if you so badly need to, as keeping it all bottled up inside you indefinitely can not only poison your mind and body, but also over a more extended period of time your essence or spirit. If you could only free up but a tiny fraction of the total emotional energy which is wasted each year attempting to bottle things up or hide them deep down in our unconscious minds where they can soon become impossible to access by any other method than the one given to us by professionals.

Do not hurry back to the MB forums, before you are fully ready to do this. This might sound at first to be unfriendly or mean spirited of me to say. But it is also highly practical, because any hint of despair or depression can quickly spread like a virtual bushfire, destroying everything and everyone who or unlucky enough in its path.

Draw increasing amounts of the needed strength from a place deep within yourself.

Keep the faith!

EoT