Parminder,
The time has arrived for me to give you this reading as I promised.
Since I have not received any response from you to the contrary, I am assuming for the purposes of this exercise that you are receiving proper professional medical treatment for your depressed condition from your doctor.
Receiving medical treatment or taking prescribed medications was never going to be a reason for me not to read for you, but if you are I need to take this into account when giving it.
I certainly hope that you did not get the wrong idea that I meant that if you were seeing a doctor or taking medications that I could or would not go ahead anyway.
I have personally struggled with chronic depression and anxiety as part of my medical condition for close on 30 years, have had at least one major nervous breakdown, and have experienced dark thoughts of taking my own life, although I certainly never got to the point of planning to carry them out.
They were basically a cry for help, which fortunately was answered by a series of life changing psychic and spiritual experiences which I had in the early 1980s.
In fact I can confidently say that if I had not undergone this dark night of my soul all those years ago, you would probably have never met me on a spiritual website such as this one.
Your reading is not predicting that you re going to have a fast and dramatic recovery during the next six months, but it does suggest that there will be a gradual improvement over time, as long as your support team and yourself can work together effectively.
It would be irresponsible and even cruel of me to tell you that your period of recovery is going to be without its challenges or that it will happen overnight, but slow and steady is going to continue to be the best way to go for you.
Your reading is wanting me to tell you this both for you to begin to recognise that I have been where you are now but are still here, and also that you are far from being alone with your emotional pain and suffering.
For there is no doubt that the place of darkness in which you presently find yourself is largely a product of your own distorted way of thinking.
Not that I am saying that things are not difficult or that you are imagining things are not going well, or that everything is love and light.
I do not think that you are consciously exaggerating the seriousness of your situation, but having experienced this myself before I do know that it is your unconscious mind which is only choosing what things in your life support the theory that that there is nothing good left for you, and at the same time is completely ignoring any evidence which suggests that the opposite is the case.
It is based upon your earlier requests probably telling you such lies as that nobody would ever love you or that there is something terribly wrong with you, which is total nonsense. But your state of mind is fooling you into believing this, and everything seems perfectly logical.
But in reality it is completely illogical, and there is no evidence that any of it is true. So your mind is creating its own evidence in place of what is real.
Your reading is predicting that you will not make any progress with this by yourself. You need to get together your support team, and you need to get it together now. Throw out the mistaken idea that doing this means that you are weak or lack courage.
You are enlisting the help of a support team precisely because you are so strong and brave. A lesser person than yourself would have in all likelihood given up by now, but you will not give up without a fight.
It is your fighting spirit which is keeping you here, and it is your fighting spirit which is making you get together a support team to help you get through this.
You are a fighter and survivor, but your unconscious mind is not working properly at the moment or behaving itself. It is like a badly frightened child who sees every innocent remark made by people who love and care for him or her as a personal attack, and more evidence that things can only get worse (more nonsense).
When you are feeling down it is your own unconscious mind's twisted thoughts that are being your worst enemy (and not your unconscious mind itself).
Normally its purpose is to keep you happy and healthy and make you feel like life is still worth living, but sometimes something goes wrong and everything then suddenly to go on a downward spiral, where nothing much seems to make sense any longer, and where it it can often be extremely difficult for you to find anything which is positive to light up the darkness and push it away.
But how do you fight an enemy which you cannot see? Being able to get to your twisted thoughts in your unconscious mind often needs special methods used by doctors, psychologists and professional counsellors to access the faulty information, and bring each thought out into the open one at a time, where it can be properly testing in the light of reality.
Basically your treating doctor or counsellor will assist you to first access this faulty unconscious information, and then help you to bring it out in the open.
For it is only when it is brought out into the open can it be properly tested against reality. You will be trained to examine and challenge each twisted thought one at a time, so that the enemy is out in the open where it can be much more easily dealt with.
So in summary, it is NOT that nobody could or would ever love you. You are NOT going crazy and basically there is nothing really seriously the matter with you. It is those twisted thoughts in your unconscious mind which are presently running the show, and it is towards examining and removing them and replacing them with something which is balanced and real that your and your treating doctor's energies need to be focussed upon over the next six months.
Once you can bring these thought enemies out in the open, you can be gradually helped with the support and advice of a professional to see them for what they really are. A pack of lies which has only lasted this long because the were up until now hidden and untested. As soon as they are revealed for the lies they are, your healing can start making major forward progress.
The next six to twelve months will never be easy or boring, but they will be worth it in the long run, as out of this helping period should come a much stronger and confident person when compared to what you were when you started your healing journey. Yes there will always still be bad days when you feel that your biggest mistake was to get out of bed, and some heartache, pain and disappointment is inevitable while you are still living.
It is NOT going to be Parminder lived happily ever after, and you are NOT going to get everything and everyone you wished for, but without your distorted thought enemy, things are definitely going to appear far brighter and happier for you than they probably do to you now, while you are still under their spell or control.
There will always still be bad days as well as setbacks along the way, but these will progressively get few and further in between with professional help and the help of the rest of your support team.
Make the most of any help you can get and afford. It is a sign of your inner strength and commitment to yourself to find a way through this to a better place. You deserve only the very best that life and love can offer you.
Be kinder to yourself,
EoT
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