Dear Vicki,
Although I am not a medium and therefore cannot claim to put you in direct communication with the spirit of your child, I was deeply moved by your request and would be pleased to offer you some words of comfort and support during what must surely be one of the worst experiences that any loving mother should ever be expected to endure. And amongst these words of comfort and healing will most likely also be some insights which I received on your behalf during your (psychic) reading.
I have been told (as I get most of my psychic information clairaudiently through thoughts coming into my head which are definitely not mine) that while your baby girl never saw the light of day or passed away soon after her birth, that she was a very old soul temporarily using an infant's physical body.
It was far from being due to an accident that she chose you to be her mother, and someone unseen and close to you wants you to know that it had absolutely nothing at all to do with what you or your doctor did or did not do at the time. The spirit entity who entered your daughter's physical form was never intended to stay, as he or she (as this spirit has incarnated both as male or female over a series of thousands of Earthly lifetimes) had only to do this one last time to remove the need to have to come back.
But this does not necessarily mean that she will not some day consciously choose to come back to Earth, as beings of her advanced level have such great love for humanity that they are often willing to return for the good and spiritual evolution of others, instead of having to as was previously the case.
Rhutobello is absolutely right about feeling that you will meet this spirit again on a higher plane of existence, although my feelings based on this reading are that your joyous reunion will not be for many years yet.
Which will only make the time that much more pleasurable to both of you when it happens.
While she is still growing up in Spirit and would be our equivalent of around two years old by now (time over there does not mean the same or pass at the same rate as it does here on Earth), there is a very likely to be a spirit mother who was never able to have her own physical children, and so has been given the awesome and sacred responsibility of caring for these little angels until their Earth mothers can be with them again.
But what you have to learn is that while your child is being cared for and is playing in a meadow with no fences of vividly coloured flowers with a range of colours and brilliance that have and never will be seen on Earth, she is also at times closer to you than the space between two of your own heartbeats. It is as if she is in the next room to where you are, separated from you only by a paper thin wall. Your loss is actually an illusion, because your normal everyday senses are not attuned to the higher frequencies of the dimension in which she now exists.
But that having been said, I feel that you have your own mediumistic abilities, and may have felt her presence with you in some way since her passing. Especially if you were thinking of her at the time, and wondering how she was in her new life and heavenly surroundings. She is doing more than OK and is fitting in well with her new environment. At such times our loved ones draw even closer to us than is usually the case. Above all they are there to watch over and protect you, and want to be thought of as always being a part of you and your entire family.
I sincerely hope that you were able to view her now empty physical shell and were allowed to express your grief in your own way and in your own time, instead of having to bottle it up inside you. But if this was not possible or practical, then do not feel as though you somehow failed her as her mother, or that she passed alone. Actually there were so many spirits in the room at the time who came to help her make the transition as easily as possible, that if you had been able to see them you would have felt that the room was too overcrowded for you to fit in amongst all of them.
So much for her being alone on passing.
Although as I said I am not a medium, I have experienced psychic dreams of what it is like on the other side, and it is simply too beautiful for me to express in words that you could easily understand. But now I know why when a child is born again into this world that the other spirits mourn for them, and why they celebrate their return to their true home when their time on this planet is finally at an end. In other words it is the exact reverse of how we ourselves in a human body regard birth and death, from the opposite viewpoint. We celebrate what they mourn over, and the other way around is also true?
Just because one is a medium or knows beyond any doubt that their child's eternal spirit survived the physical death of their body, does not stop one's need to grieve for them. Even if you know that they are right beside you although hidden from your physical senses, the desire to hold them one more time and tell you how much you love them is almost unbearable and on the surface cruel beyond even the worst form of punishment. But your daughter was not taken from you as a punishment, as you never did anything wrong to be punished for.
In fact it is her prayer I strongly believe that you will eventually share the huge amount of love you still have in your heart for her with another child or children (not necessarily your own), as if they had each been your daughter. Always much easier said than done, but she would I believe want to to live your life in order to honour and respect her memory, as you have so much of healing value to offer children who will never though no fault of their own have someone like you to love and care for them. They will also be unlikely to have all the other advantages in life that your daughter might have had if she had survived at this level of reality.
So instead of a punishment this otherwise horrible experience is an opportunity for you to be a "mother" to many other children, while there are spirit mothers on the other side watching over your daughter. So there is a divine purpose to all this, and no spirit or life is ever wasted, simply because it was shorter than expected.
God has a strange and mystic way of turning something which is in itself intensely negative and feels like you are having your heart torn out of your chest, into something which is precious, loving and supports other people's children through their most important time of development and growth. Until your work is done and they then move on to other people in turn after yourself, freeing up more space in your heart for still more. While it is terribly stressful and may make you wonder if God has deserted you or gone crazy, this is all part of a much bigger plan.
So in closing you are being asked to do what must easily be one of the most demanding and emotionally draining tasks of getting on with your own life purpose, but at the same time at least once a day before sleep overtakes you once more, think of your daughter with loving memories of the many positive things which she brought into your lives if only for a moment on that day approximately two years ago, irrespective of her short life span.
The little time she had left where she had to return to Earth is finally over, and now both she and you have new roles to play while remaining her mother, and her your daughter. Once two souls have been bound together in a relationship between a mother and her child, not even death itself can break the cords of love that have been permanently formed.
God bless you and your entire family (especially your little one now in Spirit, but never far way from you),
eye_of_tiger (male)
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| Round the world, butterflies are seen as representing the departed souls of our family members who have gone on before us. Native people recognise the chrysalis stage of the butterfly's life cycle as the soul trapped inside its body. The emergence of the adult butterfly symbolizes the freedom of the soul upon death. |