hello guys  and thank you for taking your time, if ever.    

you see, i've put my life on hold. i felt like i was in a cycle of addiction of sorts. i've wanted to kill myself for years, but couldn't do it because i felt like i will just become a ghost stuck here defeating the purpose of killing myself in the first place. i'm sort of ok now, but i'd like some advice on how to get out of this rut. i'd like to know if i'm just doomed for failure or should i just move on to lesser heights.

also, i've been having this weird cold thing over and over. is there anything i should do to get rid of it? we're also having a lot of problems with money, is there anything my family could do to fix it? i've also wanted to start practising this martial art, Tetada Kalimasada, should i do it or just forget about it?

lastly, i've been having a hard time making friends and maintaining relationships with people. i don't know how to fix myself, i hope you could give some advice about it.

i'm sorry i have so many questions. thank you for reading, if ever.  

i'm sorry i forgot to mention, you may disregard my question on health if you deem it inappropriate. thank you.

Hi Joharah,

Well I for one am very pleased that you did not take your own life even as a cry for help, as I would have missed out on the opportunity to help you through a reading if you had. I am also grateful that you appear to have enough knowledge of the type of reception you could reasonably expect on the other side of life if you did prematurely end it all (or think you had ended it all, but unfortunately did not).

And I feel that I may have some limited understanding of how desperately sad you must have felt at the time, as I have been in the same dark place as you were then, many moons ago (1977). After almost a lifetime of personally battling chronic anxiety and depression related to my chronic illness plus at least one nervous breakdown and suicidal thoughts at times, I feel a deep sense of empathy and connection with you on which to base this reading.

Now I could as I usually do allow the cards to decide which of your many excellent questions should be used as the starting point or as a tool for me to help you, but I sincerely hope that you will not be too disappointed if I do not attempt to answer any particular question at all, and instead get straight the heart of the matter or to the core of what I see as being your most serious problem.

And the core problem I am talking about here according to what your reading is telling me, is that for some reason(s) only known to yourself you strongly dislike the person you have become as you have outgrown your parents and your childhood. It would not be an understatement I feel to declare that you might go so far as to hate yourself.

To make matters worse you may feel unnecessarily embarrassed to have to admit to yourself that there were times when you wished you had never been born, because your life has never been free of challenges and difficulties. You appear to wrongly believe that it is your destiny in this life to suffer what other people are surely never subjected to as you were.

The symptoms of your self dislike or hate are many and varied, and will spill over into many areas of your life at the same time in the form of extremely low self confidence and a noticeable lack of belief in yourself and in your significant abilities. If you do not like yourself how can you expect others to disagree with your own poor self assessment of you?

When we do not like ourselves then when somebody else shows an interest in us they must according to this twisted logic either be a fool or alternately be trying to trick us into believing that they are telling the truth when they are not.

So by not liking yourself you are effectively putting a brick wall up around your heart, as if to say to everyone who approaches you KEEP OUT OR ELSE.

Unfortunately wall are not very selective as to what they allow either in or out. Yes the protective wall around your heart which keeps out the bad feelings and stops the pain for the moment, also keeps out the good ones as well.

These good feelings are the very ones which you are in most urgent need of, to help you to see that with all your human weaknesses and failures (join the club), you are not such a bad person after all. In fact your reading tells me quite the contrary.

You are a highly intelligent and sensitive person (probably over-sensitive) who has such great potential to do good in this world, but if you keep your light hidden under a bush from others, the world and the people living in it, and tragically yourself will never get to find out just what you are capable of achieving if you put your heart and mind into it long enough to prove to yourself that you have everything which it will ever take for you to make the grade.



You are asking I feel whether it is your destiny to continue to suffer as much as you have in the past. Your future is not set in stone. Although certain events such as your birth, death and perhaps ever increasing taxes are destined to happened, it is left entirely up to you to fill in the finer details in between.

You are not somehow doomed to only know pain and sadness, unless you believe deep down where it counts that this is the case for long enough in order to hypnotise yourself into believing this with due respect absolute nonsense.

You are largely the co-creator of your own future, mainly through the series of conscious decisions which you make now in the present moment - your only true point of personal power to influence your future in a positive way.

If your expectations are unrealistically high then you are unconsciously setting yourself up for a life of constant disappointment in both yourself and in your life in general.

But on the other hand it is important not to set your expectations too low, as if they are too low then there is no reason or motivation for you to want to ever improve things, or help yourself as much as possible. If you always look for the worst in a person you will usually have no problem in finding it.

But if you more slowly and surely raise your expectations as your confidence in and respect for yourself grows over time, then this will almost guarantee a happier and more successful life. Who living on Earth at this time is better qualified to be you, than yourself?

Stop trying to be a pale imitation of someone else who you look up to as an example of how best to live your life, and always instead work tirelessly and with courage to become the best you are able to become, using whatever resources your Creator has freely given you for this purpose.

When you truly begin to love and accept yourself as the fallible human being you are (as we all are here), then many of the questions you are asking as part of your request will soon answer themselves to your satisfaction.

Hoping this reading helps to encourage and inspire you to get to know and understand your true Self better.

Be kinder to yourself,

eye_of_tiger (male)

Hello Eye of Tiger,

Thank you so much for responding to my request. I know you've heard this plenty of times, but i am profoundly amazed by how accurate your reading is. My tears started gushing the moment i started reading. I am embarassed to admit that i got sort of unhappy when you pointed out my main problem, because the only way i've been keeping out depression was pushing my problems towards the back of my mind and running away from it as far as i can, but at the same time i am grateful for clearing it up for me.

I do indeed hate myself so much that i've wished that i've never been born plenty of times. i am extremely pessimistic and i find it hard to change the way i think because i think it is in my nature.

I think i put up the wall thing to prevent me from getting even more rejected by society, and to prevent me from falling in love because i did once and i believe i've been used for egoistic purposes. So, i don't know how to take it down.

I have become, what the Japanese call "hikikomori"(i only found out what it was called after i became one), people who resort to becoming a recluse from society. I ran away from university, because i couldn't live up to my responsibilities. I used to be inlove with studying, but now it makes me sick. Then i found out i have some chronic illnesses too, such as ADD, that keeps me from doing my responsibilities. So, maybe i should'nt come back to school.



This struck me a lot, because i look up to a lot of people including my friends, and i always get jealous of the things they accomplish, and i always end up hating myself more because i feel like crap next to them. I've been trying to read the book "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle, but i find it hard to put the things i've read into practice because i've hypnotised myself so bad, i couldn't get rid of the stuff i told myself. I will try to read the book again and remember all the advice you've graciously given me.

Again, thank you so much.

Sincerely,
Joharah

Joharah,

You are very welcome for the reading. For someone who claims to be a social outcast, you seem to me to know quite well the golden rule that if you treat other people as you would hope they would treat you, generally there should not be any problems. You may therefore have much better people skills than you have hypnotized yourself into believing that you lack.

Facing the truth can often be painful, but as you said it can also be liberating and quickly free up energies which we have been previously wasted in worrying about things which were always beyond our control, to then be used for more positive and constructive purposes.

Don't take what I am about to say to you the wrong way as some type of ego trip on my part, but I never get tired of hearing that someone else has found my readings to be both relevant and useful to their particular situation.

After all readers are human beings with human feelings like everyone else here, and knowing that I have made a positive difference in another person's life only motivates me further to constantly strive to improve both the accuracy and usability of my readings over time.

For no matter how accurate your reading might be, if it is not at the same time of some practical use to you in living a happier and more successful existence, then it is in my opinion less than useless.

It was both my pleasure and privilege to read for you, and I sincerely hope that in hindsight in the future you will remember this reading as representing a a major positive turning point in your recovery process, and in the way of learning more about the incredible healing potential of self love.

Self love has nothing at all to do with vanity or with you being full of arrogance and false pride. To my way of thinking learning to love yourself exactly as you already are (warts and all) is possibly one of the few important spiritual lessons in self acceptance which is shared by almost every human being, past, present and future. Self love to me equals self acceptance plus self respect.

Thanking you once again for your kind words of appreciation for my efforts on your behalf, as well as the very positive and encouraging (to me) feedback you have so generously and honestly provided.

The main message behind everything else I have already told you through your reading is that you are never alone with your suffering, and that there is always someone who you can go to for help when needed.

I feel that you have just made a significant positive breakthrough in reaching out for some help as a sign of your inner strength and commitment to eventually getting better, and never as a sign of weakness.

Keep up the good work and I wish you improved health and happiness as you start out once again on the most important journey you will ever make, which is the one which leads back to your true Self.

Healing energies and prayers from my inner source, are now heading in your direction as I type this,

eye_of_tiger