I could go on and on and on.....I'm trying to stay posititive and tried having a better life and to be a better person.....this is what I get in the end.....haha justice at its optimum.

Happiness, that's all I ever wanted, why is it so hard to get? I can't even kill myself without affecting other people, I've already fucked up enough lives anyway, it'll be far more beneficial if I were dead. There is no such thing as kindness and compassion, we're all judgemental fucks. Want to contradict me and say life is a "wonderful thing" and to keep on living because "there is a light at the end of the tunnel"......there isn't the only way to not be in the darkness, is death, it's a relief, life's ^%&*%^&% torture without reason, that's the best analogy for it.
Go ahead argue against me, I can put in anecdotes, experience and reasons, as to why life is pointless and every person in the world is a parasite, who only cares for themselves.
Not long now......just need a few more things to push me and this neverending conflict will be over, I will be free soon.

It is no use to argue with one that look everything as black...who swamp up everything that is bad....that have gone into a state of self pity....such a person need to open his/her eyes that life aren't all about glamor, and him/herself.

The more you focus on your negative thoughts...the worse your life become.....the more you expect out of life....the less happiness you get.

You say you struggle, that you never have happiness....my question is....what have you done to achieve it ? (you don't need to answer)

You say you have a lousy life....I can point to millions of people who have it worse...and they are still happy....they still find the good thing in life....because they don't expect more....they live.

Everything is in our MIND...if you go around calling yourself a looser...calling yourself one who never have seen happiness...who calling himself that it is no use to try....to rather end his/her life...well then YOUR mind believe this thing.

Happiness and progress aren't measured in money, or items, but in your own confident in yourself, the ability to love yourself, without it go into selfishness, which I believe is your state of mind now.
That you have friends, family, food on the table, the nature, the animals open your eyes and see.

But if we are in a negative state of mind, then we loose our friends...those who want to be friend with us is then also of the negative type...and together we all just bury our self deeper.

I shall not give you any argument other then NEGATIVITY consume YOU, and POSITIVITY gives you energies so you are able to fight NEGATIVE impulses....if Positivity aren't present....then you are in the Dark!

It is up to you to change yourself....no one else can change YOU....No one else can use a magic wand...ONLY YOU....But you can ask for help, which is the first step, which I also believe will please your family, and maybe you then will get your first POSITIVE impulses, and see what a smile can do!

To talk about suicide is talk from the looser!

So if you wish to answer this post with something negative...about why Positivity aren't for you...then don't bother....it just show your state, and that you aren't able to listen to reason, and your darkness is shown!

Hi Silvio,

I completely agree and support what Rhutobello has already wisely advised you above, but while we are waiting for you to get over your state of depression I wish to declare for all members to hear that I feel you are anything but a loser, based upon what I already know about you from previous readings I have given in the past.

In your case as with many other people I read for on these forums, talk of suicide is more often than not a call for help, rather than it meaning you are a loser, or that some inner part of you is a loser.

I just wanted you to remember that within my own human limitations I will always try my best to be there for you when I am needed.

I have sent out my own urgent call for help many years ago. I had suicidal thoughts of my own, but never fortunately for many people took them any further.

Which is a very good thing as almost two years later I met my wife of now over 30 years, and we have two adult children who would not have been born if I had listened to my distorted thought processes and had ended my life prematurely by my own hand.

I am not a qualified medical doctor, but my knowledge was gained both from my studies and academic qualifications in the field of human physiology, as well as being at the receiving end of various conventional treatments over the years by a series of well meaning and knowledgeable doctors, who although they often had the best of intentions to heal me unfortunately had no idea about treating the whole person - body, mind and spirit - the holistic approach.

If you are currently taking antidepressant medication prescribed by your doctor for your condition and thoughts of suicide suddenly appear virtually out of nowhere, immediately see your doctor about either changing the dosage or the drug itself. Several well known and widely used antidepressants have as one of their possible side effects suicidal thoughts, where the person would never have considered it before!

Also some depressive states from my own first hand experience can be due to a lack of sunlight at certain times of the year (Seasonal Affective Disorder), or dietary in origin. Some natural health remedies and herbs can interact with other chemicals in our bodies to disrupt the delicate balance of chemicals in our brains which regulate our moods. Once again, keep your doctor fully informed about any sudden unexplained changes in your mental and emotional state.

And YES life can really suck at times, and it is often extremely difficult to remain positive when we are effectively drowning in a sea of negativity. Life can be a real burden at times, and this life is all love and light thing can be in my opinion taken too far, ad only make matters seem worse than they already are. Life is for many people far short of ideal, and involves frequently for many sheer hard work and perspiration. So some feelings of depression are with good reason. Not all of our low feelings are irrational? But it is what we do with and in spite of these feelings which primarily determines the measure of a specific man or woman.

When you are prepared to listen, I would feel privileged to read for you once more. I do not waste my limited time and energies on losers or people who are unwilling to also do what they can to help themselves. In my estimation, you belong to neither of these two negative groups. I will within the forum rules and my own limits always have time for winners like you.

God bless,

eye_of_tiger

I agree with both Rhuto and EOT.

Whilst you may be suffering from a medical condition and possibly on medication of some sort, first and foremost, please see your doctor if there is a side effect to these drugs, which may be prompting you to have suicidal inclinations. EOT's comments on this are very valid. I have a friend who went through the same symptoms........

I'm afraid I will  have to also agree with Rhuto and his words which may have come across as 'harsh' but I have seen your posts in several forums whereby you have expressed yourself with the utmost negativity about yourself and the world at large. I am very, very sorry to hear about your childhood years..... I am also aware that they leave a scar that may be difficult to heal..... BUT......... there is a big BUT...... are you willing to dwell on them with an attitude of self-pity and, indeed, cry for help, or are you going to do something about them?

No amount of reading will show you what to do. I have seen your previous posts regarding a leadership position and now to this suicidal expression. What next Silvio? Did you come to the age of 19 to waste your life away on such negative thoughts? Are you going to seek professional help or wallow in these negative thoughts?

Please reassure us as to what your next POSITIVE step is going to be? You can F*** the world to your heart's delight my friend,  and if that is going to bring you some temporary relief, keep on F***ing it, but you know it is not the answer.

Please tell us what is your next positive step going to be?

If you continue being so negative and come here pouring your negativity in the forum, isn't that making you a kind of a 'parasite' like the rest of world which you claim is?  Think about it.

Without anger or remorse, my good man, please tell us all here what is your next POSITIVE step going to be?

We are really eager to hear and support you all the way. But, no more of the negative view of the world around you and least of all about yourself.

Ciao Silvio.

Firstly, maybe my posts were a bit misunderstood, I didn't post them to complain or for you to feel any pity or to spread any negativity, but to convey my viewpoint on the matter and where I'm coming from. Where to from here, I don't know. I have gotten help many times, with every solution available helplines, psychiatry, meditation and medication, is at its highest too. They are however, temporary reliefs. While I still do disagree in ways, I agree that you have to be positive to move forward and change. That was the whole point of this thread, trying to see the optimism in things, but how? Everytime I notice the smallest things, I connote it with a negative experience.
My next step is just learning to accept myself and everything else, I will try looking harder to see the positive aspects. A reading would be nice, though.