Hi Snowdrop,
It is the nature of the self healing process that our recovery is not always in a straight line heading upwards.
The regular re-appearance of your old gremlins and insecurities between the better days is not to be interpreted as meaning that you are going in the wrong direction, nor does it necessarily mean that you will not eventually arrive at your destination.
Indeed I tend to believe that the very fact that these mental monsters keep rearing their ugly heads is that you are disturbing them from getting comfortable with torturing you, so if you are getting their attention one shoulkd perhaps instead view this as a positive omen that you are hurting them in the most painful way possible.
And why I ask should you not enjoy giving the little beggars some of their own bitter medicine, as they have effectively robbed you of what is some of your life to live as you best see fit to do so.
Take no prisoners in sending them packing back to where they belong, and celebrate not only their rapid departure but also at the same time how far you have actually progressed towards inevitably freeing yourself forever of the worst ones. Unfortunately you will I feel never freed yourself of every individual doubt or fear. A person who has no fears at all is either a fool, is treating you like a fool, and is not likely to survive for very long.
Our fears are put there up to a point to protect us from doing harm to ourselves or other people, but it is only when they control us instead of us learning to some varying degree control them that the trouble really begins.
As a person whom I sense prides herself on being in control over every situation, this feeling of not being in the driver's seat with regards to your life must surely be a bitter pill for you to swallow?
Your reading is therefore urging you to give yourself some well deserved long overdue credit for what significant progress you have already achieved, often in the face of adverse circumstances which could have potentially stopped a lesser person than your good self dead in her own tracks, and to show you that you are much more in control over your own thoughts and responses to a specific life event, when compared to how much you are in control of the event itself.
While there are definitely only a limited number of things which you could do to make your personal and working life both happier and more successful, you have almost an infinite range of options as to finding a way to show that these self sabotaging thoughts of yours have little if any basis in reality.
Frequently the fear of our negative anticipation leading up to an event is much worse than the final outcome with the luxury of hindsight. Make some contingency plans by all means, just in case the worst thing you feared does actually come to pass, but in a large proportion of cases the outcome is either nowhere near as bad as we thought it might be, or does not happen at all.
Also do not make the common mistake of thinking that worrying yourself sick and caring about something or someone enough to try to make things better are exactly the same thing. Caring is always positive (although I suppose that we can care too much for our own good and not at the same time care enough for ourselves), but worrying yourself into a hospital bed or premature grave about something which might potentially never happen, seems rather counter-productive and honestly too silly to me for it to be given serious consideration.
Although this reading has not made any baseless wild guesses or predictions as to exactly what still lies in store for you during the next six months or so covered by a reading of the type given here, I sincerely hope that it has given you instead some comfort and reassurance that you will get through this all in the end, with both flying colours and your usual style of saving everything essentially at one minute to midnight.
You tend I sense from this reading to live your life like many drivers who are a little overconfident about the minimum stopping distance of their car's brakes under all weather and driving conditions, and sometimes you cut things too fine for most people to be as comfortable with your way of doing things as you appear to be?
Do not take this as a sign that they do not like or love you. It is just that they have difficulties in getting used to your ways of doing things, as no two of us are identical in the manner of our different respective personalities and temperaments. It is therefore basically up to you to calm their fears by more effectively communicating your signals to them, before you take action. Once you have taken action, it is often too late.
Keep going and never look downwards or or backwards, once you have taken whatever positive lessons you are able from your past, and keep your spiritual as well as your physical eyes fully open, and sharply focussed upon the bouncing ball.
eye_of_tiger
