Mangomom, the conclusion I've come to:

This experience IS mine, that is why I'm here. I have been sent here to love this person, for whatever reason. I didn't pursue him, he pursued me.  I never thought actually that I would find anyone I cared to love this much or cared to promise any time to, after my husband died. But I do.
I truly feel he is God-sent.  But it feels like there are forces creating problems around us, something heavy bearing down on us. Even on the  people around us. What is wrong with them? They are all behaving in a promiscuous way and there is this lack of respect and love. This isn't the real them at all.

My mind has felt in a fog. Extreme confusion, lacking clarity or focus, even with prayer. Something keeping me from what I need to know. Even where I feel like I should have clarity, things that other people would make very black and white, I even question whether it's really a problem or a place where I need to grow. I don't understand what's happening.

What is the purpose of all this?



If you would give me the honor of a reading, I would like to share with you the honor of asking you to look into my records..

We are having issues regarding outside relationships.  

What is causing this?
What steps can be taken to heal the things causing this;

Why are these issues coming up?

Are there forces as I feel them pressing down on us? What is this?

I will love this person to the best of my god-given ability with the abundance of love that flows through me!! However -

What obstacles are in the way of us having a stable and happy marriage?
What steps can I take to keep us on track, to get us to this point?
I will do what it takes if God would just guide me, if I could see it.
I am here with this person, and God knows what to do- God loves me and sees my faith and I give all credit to him. He knows what to do, I am so eager to do what needs done to accomplish these things, if I could just hear what that is.

Also open to all wisdom given to you or to anyone who has insight.


I hope you are able to get back to me soon.
I have decisions to make.

With all Gratefulness,
God Bless you.
Love,
Evangeline

I am not Mangomom, and I'm not good at reading futures.  I have more of a reading the past and pastlives type of gift.  But something tells me that you are going to ruin your relationship worrying so much.  Drawing from your energy in your letter, you are asking out of desperation, so I'm drawing a negative read.  What I mean is that I am feeling your pain, which is more like panic.  I do not see outside "forces" keeping you from your happiness.  I feel you need to stop, take a good hour for yourself, meditate, and take a deep breath through it all.  I just feel that you and your other have gotten into a non-responsive phase.  Every couple goes through them.  You just need to find something to bring a light back into it.  Start doing teenage things again:  park and makeout in the park, play tag football with him and all the guys and gals.  Do something that stimulates him mental and stimulates you physically.  I don't know if any of this is making sense to you, but it's what I see, so bare with me.  I keep going over this in my head, and I really don't see any outside forces.  But, if you feel there are, purify your surroundings (smudge, inscense, whatever you use).  I hope this helps.

Thank you for your insight. Mangomom I still look forward to your input as well, which has been very valuable to me.  

Ianna-    well here is a specific picture.
Yes, maybe a non-responsive phase? ...  More like he is emotionally overwhelmed by my trying to get him to understand my needs, through talking. He feels "controlled" and "possessed" when I express my needs and feelings, telling him where I am, where my boundaries are. He feels like I want him to change something, which I do, but I'm not going to force it.
 
He has started spending time with other people as well, decided that he wants a "polyamorous" or "open" relationship.  I am afraid these will damage our relationship, that we may forget to maintain OUR relationship. I want to go back to our monogamous relationship.  I am concerned that if this starts, where will it end?

I don't know why he wants this other than it sounds fun and he wants to feel less "pressure", expectations, etc.

I could go along with this. But not so comfortable with open, or even just one or two other people really. Due to health and emotional concerns and wanting to preserve the love and growth of our relationship, protect it from neglect or pain.

we live together we could stay in a relationship and not sleep together if he's doing that, but I don't want to put us in the habit of not connecting physically or romantically with each other.

if i move out, i don't think i should see him unless he wants to go back to being sexually exclusive.

this is a bunch of information but perhaps it will help mangomom or someone else.

***what direction should I take with this to preserve and grow our relationship back to a point where he feels we freely choose each other and he is happy in the monogamous marriage? *** I want very much to be productive with this, but won't withhold from him what he wants.

I feel strongly I am meant to be here for a big reason. I feel like I should trust him and see where his "inner guidance" takes us, this came to me and I felt very peaceful about it--- but in reality, having to see these things going on and trying to change my thinking feels difficult, makes me anxious and feel like I am not good enough or not important. Mainly I am afraid this kind of relationship would cause straying or neglect to our own..

***Need direction .. I know I am supposed to be here but need clarification on what is happening and how to best help our relationship progress.***

thanks for all your insight and love ianna, mangomom, and everyone here. you are my light in the fog right now.

Evangeline

Hmmmm, I am quite sorry.  Sounds like my ex.  He isn't scorpio is he?  As I have said, I cannot give insight to the future, but he could interpret your expressing yourself of your needs as....well needy.  Although, you and I both know how important it is to express ourselves (that is a part of who we are).  I know that when I finally walked away from my relationship, I was devasted. I am still on anti-depressants because of it.  It felt like he had ripped my heart out, stomped it into the ground, dug it up, and poured salt on it.  I stuck by his side while he was momentarily disabled due to a near death experience.  Then, when he got better, it wasn't even a week after he got his release to go back to work, he decided he didn't need me anymore.  I felt worthless, cheap, and as much as I hate the word I felt like a wh....  Moving my stuff out of his house was the hardest thing I ever had to do.  Funny thing is, we have been broke up for over a year, quit hanky panky (tried so hard to believe the lies) a few months ago, and I still think of him atleast once every hour.  I still want to cry so much some times, but these pills they have me on are pretty damn good.  Should Mangomom sense something negative, I want you to know:  I do not know you, but I know how bad things hurt, and you are more than welcome to talk to me anytime you feel necessary.  I can't tell you that I know how you feel, because no one feels hurt the same way.  I can tell you though, that I will listen.

Just checking to see if Mangomom has been here yet.  
more later--

All love!

E