Hello again Horus,
I feel that this concept of karma or should I say many people's understanding of what karma actually is has a lot to answer for in terms of the unnecessary confusion and suffering it often causes in their lives. When you said that you understood that all your struggles were karmic, did you as many others also do suggest that destiny has somehow selected you specifically to suffer most, or that you have some punishment due to you in return for something you did or did not do in the past which has now come back to haunt you?
The often hard to accept fact is that everyone's life is full of challenges, although many of them may forever remain invisible to the outside observer, The grass is always greener in the other man's life compared to my own syndrome is in epidemic proportions these days, but my advice would be to be careful what you most often wish for when you jealously assess someone's life to be easier than your own. The challenges we each face as individuals are carefully tailored to the specific lessons we have come into this current lifetime to learn. Just because another person's life may on the surface seem far less challenging than our own, it would be wise of us not to judge a book by it's cover.
While I do not wish to minimise the challenges you are facing or to tell you that you are making them up, the fact that you are continuing to struggle says much of a positive nature to me about your strength of character and high level of motivation and commitment to push through these obstacles placed in your path, with the intention to make you a better more well balanced person overall. Such adverse circumstances as you have overcome with such courage and personal style could have destroyed a lesser person than yourself but regardless of how immense you perceived these barriers you are still to your great credit reaching out for help where it is both readily available and affordable.
As you will already know from my previous readings given on this forum I am not heavily into making wild predictions about what could possibly if nothing changes in the meantime happen or not happen over the next six months or so. I am much more involved with helping you to more easily face whatever the future still holds in store for you, in spite of how large the barrier first may appear. For this purpose I decided to ask my inner guidance as to giving you a theme card to work upon from now until the middle of February this year. Something to give you a general idea as to what specific lesson or lessons will feature most during that period of time, amongst all the other still ongoing ones?
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Ace of Swords being a member of the Swords suit is usually interpreted to be above all an action card and one which is heavily associated with cutting our way through all the usual smokescreen or bull dung, in order for us to finally get to the core of the truth of the matter.
Any of the four Aces suggest that there is great potential for making a significant advance on many different life fronts at much the same time during the period covered by this reading (your instincts were right all along), but that while you have no shortage of motivation to keep going in spite of your many difficulties, you are seriously at the moment only lacking in any definite direction. You are as is commonly said at a major crossroad in your life, where only a little more effort on your part could potentially yield rewards which are far beyond the proportions which could reasonably be expected for such a minor increase in performance.
Just as you you suspected, your reading is telling me that you are now 99.99% of the way towards achieving whatever you originally set out to do, and which path you choose to walk from now on could be important although not critical to the future outcome. But the whole point of the exercise is that in order to achieve anything important to you you frequently need to take the real risks involved in choosing which of the paths to take, and then learning to deal with whatever the consequences might eventually turn out to be.
So your challenge as I see it is to choose which of the different paths being presented to you involves you taking the least possible calculated risk, and then follow it to where it leads (generally to another cross road). Now if you look for a path which does not involve taking any risks, then I feel that you are on the wrong planet. If you on the other hand allow your quite understandable fears to get the best of you, then you will probably never get started along any path other than that to a life full of only regrets that you never discovered for yourself if your goal would have been reachable.
If you do not choose your path then life has a nasty habit of choosing it on your behalf, and instead of you being relatively in the driver's seat when it comes to deciding your future, you will now effectively become a helpless victim or passenger, who is being carried along by forces you cannot even begin to understand, let alone protect or defend him or herself in any way against. For a person such as yourself who prides themselves on being in control at all times, this is the least desirable of options and will only quickly erode (wear away) whatever self confidence and self respect still remains.
For the sake of completion, and possibly to offer you more valuable clues as to which of the paths currently on offer would be the best one for you at this time, the Ace of Swords has often been associated with the compass direction of East, as well as the season of Spring. Whether or not either or both of these indicators is important or even mildly relevant to your present circumstances is only for you to discover for yourself.
In the end just as with interpreting a dream, your own instincts as to what each element of your reading could potentially mean to you in the context of your current lifetime are generally the most reliable guide overall, as to which of the roads you should tackle first as if one turns out to be a dead end, you always can do a back track and try another.
Do not get too caught up in the mistaken belief that only one of the roads is the right one, and that therefore all of the remaining roads are wrong. There are no absolute wrongs or rights here. Only roads which are relatively less riskier than the others, at this particular point in time.
In another day, week or month, the road you would be wise to choose could in practice be quite different, as we are constantly being forever changed by our experiences in the meantime. Another way of saying the same thing is that we are no longer exactly the same person as we were days, weeks or months before, as a result of our experiences and the meanings we give to them.
Hoping that you might find this reading and the insights contained within it to be both relevant and helpful in combination with information from other sources in choosing your path,
eye_of_tiger
