Mangomum, I realized you asked me to come back in a month or so and I started a post to you a while back and never finished it.

Good thing because this is just when I need it.

I have been laid off for five months now. During that time I worked gigs and looked for jobs non stop. I finally found two jobs; one I am waiting on a regular schedule, mid August, and two, I have a regular schedule but have made NO money there because they are a new place and not advertising yet. The place I am supposed to get a regular schedule at depends on a girl who works there leaving for the peace corp, although I have heard now that she may not leave until November.  

I also just took classes today to renew my massage license as I was requested by my significant other to do so and find a place to work out of for now.  But he is very fearful that I am like someone in his past that was manipulative and dependent upon him. He does NOT want another dependent. Despite all the effort I've made to keep and find work, I have brought in some money but not enough to cover all my bills AND rent and definitely not enough to have any overflow. I want him to have faith in me, I can do this, but that it hasn't happened yet ...he may want to quit opening himself to me. I want to stay.



What are the best steps to inspiring him, inspiring his desire for me, his faith in me, his love for me, his unconditional love?

What is blocking us from moving forward with our relationship to a marriage? What are the best steps to overcome this?


We were going along quite happily other than the money issue until something happened this last weekend that I was not happy with, a sexual issue where I felt my friends did not care how I felt in the least; at MY house.  This brought our energy from very high to very low, and he has been pushing away from me ever since. He chose to focus on it as well as not having a job that is benefitting us, or any other things that prove his fears, as something that proves that I am just not it.

I have been told before more than once something that I already know, somehow. I am the One- but it's all up to me.

I feel it IS all up to me (with God's help) because I know that everything I do influences his mind as well. My faith in myself influences his faith in me.
So it is all in my hands, really.

If there was ever a time to look deeply into a record, this is it. I don't want to leave- I feel like we both bring about so much opportunity for growth and healing in each other. Also, no matter where I go, the same lessons will be. I want to stick with this, I persevere, I am strong.  I have cultivated this relationship for a year, and this person I do dearly love. But he is feeling hurt, like I am being the "dependent" he doesn't want, instead of realizing that everything we give to each other we also are giving to ourselves; instead of realizing that we are not obligations to each other but rather opportunities to love.  I would do my best as well to pick up the slack if he had been the one to lose his job, and I have a deep desire to hold my end of the financial things up, and contribute as much as possible to US, even to his debts as though they are mine.

Pray that his mind is taken over by light, by love, that he is released from his fears and sees God's love and light in me shining so brightly. Clear his mind, his insecurities that block him from seeing the truth.
This is hurting my heart so much to feel that I am hurting him because of the things he thinks he is re-experiencing from his past, and to feel him pulling away, pushing me away like this.  

I don't know what better questions to ask. Whatever any servants of God feel is most important for me to know about all this right now is what I need to know.

I have prayed for the job, the money I need, I know God is taking care of me and I have made it this five months but I haven't seen the money or the job I need and now I feel like my partner has lost faith in me, feels depended upon or taken advantage of, and needs to see clearly the truth. I feel alone and weak with all this negativity around me, I need encouragement to build me up. I KNOW these things are there that I have asked for but where are they? I pray to give my partner patience and peace and desire to love me. It's been five months. I can't put a time limit on God. But I feel like I don't know what more to do than I'm doing.
I need direction... severely with my partner who I want to stay with and with my financial needs.

I am feeling stressed today, forgive me.
To reiterate, any of the above questions, but I am open and asking for anything that any servants of God have to say.


also, thank you so much for my last reading, your prayer is something I should have already known. You were very correct in that I have always related much to elderly people or rather have had a lot of empathy for them.  
I would write more but I need to go get my mind clear....


Thanks mangomum, email in your inbox with my info.

Dearest Evangeline,

I am so sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you.  I first want you to know I cannot give you any information on your significant other.  But my first concern is that I get the impression that he expects you to support him?  If that is the case, you need to move on with your life and find someone that wants a total partnership, not a one sided relationship.  I will open your records in a moment but just had to let you know that this relationship appears to be onesided, that you are doing all the work, what is he contributing?????  He apprears to be the one manipulating and dependent.  Okay, enough of my personal opinion, here we go with your records being opened.

Well, the RecordKeepers are asking me to have you step back and look at this picture for an outsider's point of view.  Re-read your post as if it was someone else writing it and you will see that it is a ver co-dependent person trying to be something that is not possible.  Be yourself, love yourself and stand up for your self!  You know you are doing the best you can with the tools and information you have at hand, don't let anyone manipulate you or put you down.  You are a beautiful, loving, caring individual and don't let anyone tell you different.  I want you to say the releasing pray for 25 days and then come back and let me know what you think.

If what I am experiencing is not mine, may God have his/her shield around me and I release whatever it may be to Him/Her.  This I ask for the highest good of others and myself.

May God grant you all the blessings held in store for you.

Lots of Love, Light and Laughter
MangoMom