My name is Shane (Male). DOB: July 31, 1971. I am asking for a reading concerning the relationship with my girlfriend. Her name is Lela DOB: June 21, 1975. Where do you see our relationship going? What is the key to opening her heart up to me/what do I need to do? What is going on in her? I really do love this woman and hope that maybe I can get her to marry me... lol. Thank you very much in advance for all of your help.

Hi Shane,  

Firstly I wanted to bring your attention to the fact that in order to answer your question as to what is going on inside Lela's heart and mind at the moment, I would necessarily need to give you a third party reading which is not permitted on this site according to the forum rules and guidelines.

A third party reading is by definition one which is about a person other than the registered member of these MB forums who requested it. Most readers would regard doing this as an invasion of Lela's right to her privacy, especially when she probably does not know anything about us and therefore has almost certainly never personally requested that we read her feelings about you.

But do not get me wrong about this as we can to a certain degree get around this restriction by bringing the focus of the reading back upon you rather than her, and to look at the possible reasons why she may not want to marry you based largely upon your own personality weaknesses (which we all have no shortage of), rather than it being instructions as to how you could possibly force her to love you in spite of her wishes and womanly feelings. So the bad news is that there is no key in this world or the next which can make her do something which is against her own free will, or as I suspect the will of someone who has authority over her. In other words I feel that this is not entirely her own decision to cut you loose.

Yes you could I suppose use fear and intimidation to make her come more around to your own way of thinking about this, but wouldn't you prefer to know that the woman loves you dearly and id freely with love giving herself to you in marriage, instead of feeling that if she does not do all that she is told by you that she may incur your anger and be beaten or otherwise abused? You say that you love her, but would you rather her return your love with equal love, and not instead a feeling of obligation to you.

Now as for a quick reading to see if there is still some hope that eventually you will get back together with Lela (probably not within the next six months, but I would be over the moon if you proved me wrong on this) and if there is some gentler and more loving way to slowly but surely tear down the wall she has currently built around her heart and not try to knock it down in one foul swoop, I have been prompted to draw the Knight of Wands (KOW).

Any of the four Knights in the Tarot is thought to represent either the spirit of a restless teenager, or of a person who is still effectively a teenager at least in this way. While they are all about change, forward movement or progress, because such a person rarely stands still long enough to think out things more carefully before acting, even the best of their intentions frequently tend to go wrong because they do not plan things out before rushing in where angels fear to tread and impetuously doing something in the heat of their passion and the moment that they could easily live to regret doing.

The typical person (not saying that every person with the KOW in their reading cannot behave in any other way than this) represented by this particular card is more prone than normal to being a party all night every night person, as if each day could be their last, so they might as well go out in a blaze of glory instead of simply fizzing out like a firecracker with a wet fuse. His life is often one of behaviours at either of the two extreme ends of the spectrum. There is often very little room for taking a more moderate and balanced approach. It is either all or nothing, with little in between?

When he is feeling nice and that others around him think that he is cool, butter would not melt in his mouth, but if he does not get his own way that watch out as he can suddenly become a very different bossy individual who you would not want to meet in an alley on a dark night. So in my opinion this is a very accurate picture of how your relationship and any hope of winning over Lela could both be soon destroyed if you allow this darker part within you to gain the upper hand. You are never going to give yourself the maximum possible chance to win her heart by brute force or by making her do something which she is not prepared to do at this stage. I do not know exactly what is going on in her mind and heart towards you at this precise moment, but at the very least I do feel that with the right plan you could soften her opposition to your advances gently and gradually, instead of an outright confrontation and the total breakdown of communication which would be the inevitable consequence of you forcing your will onto her.

My advice based on this reading would be to temporarily withdraw (as I do not know how regularly you see each other  at present and see if she will contact or want to get closer still to you you by say the end of this year. But although I know you will find this difficult to swallow, if she does not make any further effort to restore honest two way communication as soon as possible and want to be closer to you by the end of 2009, then easier said than done you will in your own way have to show her how much you truly love her by letting her go.

I do not want to give you the mistaken impression that I am predicting you will probably fail. No such thing! I am merely not wanting to offer you empty words and false hope and get your expectations up too high to then almost immediately risk having them cruelly dashed in front of your eyes. I am attempting to give you a balanced and honest reading of the situation and your chances as I presently assess them to be, instead of only telling you what I know all too well you would most want to hear.

I sincerely hope that you will recognize that I am attempting to consider both your feelings and hers when offering you this gift of loving service in genuinely wanting to help you all I feel able to do via the internet, as well as through my healing prayers that if indeed it is meant to be that your relationship with Lela will bloom again some day in the not so distant future.

Wishing you both all the love and happiness in the world, either as individuals or later possibly also as a couple, if this is part of the Cosmic or divine plan of which we are each a small but vital part.

Namaste,

eye_of_tiger (male)

Thank you very much EOT. I appreciate you taking time to help. One thing I should address first since it is probably most important is that we are still together. We haven't broken up. It's funny that you mention being in an abusive marriage because when she was married her now ex-husband did hit her once, showed no desire for her, and even cheated on her. With that in mind, I surely don't want to force anything on her. Allot of times when you force something it only breaks. I guess I was merely looking for a path that would help guide me to increase the possibility of her opening her heart. I do feel that she loves me and that we are soulmates. Everyone has seen it in both of us.
Btw, sorry about giving the impression about a 3rd party reading. I should have worded my question more carefully. I was just trying to get guidance about where the relationship is heading and what kind of path would be best for me to take in order for us both to have the opportunity for a life of happiness. I believe that doing this the right way is what will make our relationship last.
Thank you again, EOT. I am very grateful for any guidance I can get.

Shane,  

I had the possibility that you still had not actually separated from one another covered in your reading. While you were already physically close to one another, my intended purpose through giving you this reading was to above all bring you even closer together on an emotional, effective communication, as well as on the usual physical level.

The third party reading misunderstanding is now in the past, and I felt that I successfully got around it by turning the focus of the reading back onto you as the valued member who requested it. So I do not feel that in any way it lead to you not getting an effective reading regardless of this rule.

Her ex husband cheating on her is surely being as abusive of the woman whom he claimed to love and respect at the time, as is physically striking her even once. But the damage done to her is simply more hidden by his cheating than if he had continued to hit her again and again. And much more difficult for her to deal with by readily available methods.

BTW you are very welcome for the reading.  

EoT