Hi,

Hope you are all well! Had a look at the guidelines for reading requests and not sure if i asked for a reading too recently or this is too many. If so- my apologies and duly ignore and sorry for wasting your time by writing this.
As always, thanks in advance for anyone that has taken the time to read this and/or respond.

I have gained a lot of great advice from this forum in different sections- it has helped me reach the point I am at now. Even though i am far from happy with my life at large/cirucumstances- am trying to avoid being so negative and building my self esteem. I do find it hard though as i feel i struggle often to get friends/men/jobs where i am respected and treated well,and when reality doesn reflect the effort i put into building my self esteem - i do find it hard to be happy.

Anyway,was wondering if anyone could shed any light into if any relationship feels imminent. I feel for some reason as though it is- someone that would really love me for me - and a relationship that isnt based on rectifying my past experiences. i dont know why i feel that this is imminent/feasible (as i typically think as negatively as possible)- but i just do.Was wondering if anyone could shed any light.I know it is not feasible to make future predictions or give time lines- just any light that can be shed- maybe just even in love in general for me.

thanks so much!

Hi Sheila,

Since your previous request was made on March 2nd, you are already more than a week past satisfying the requirement that readings should not normally be requested more frequently than once a month. Note that this is only a general rule of thumb and it is left entirely up to the volunteer readers to decide whether the request is especially urgent, or whether they feel especially drawn to giving it before the month has expired.

After all we readers do have feelings just as much as the next person does, and we are fully aware that many of the people who visit this forum looking for help are either desperate or have been exploited by people or sites who do this work only to their own financial advantage, and unlike those of us who work tirelessly on your behalf on these MB forums, I feel that many of them do not really care or do not want to know about how difficult it is for a person to bare their soul on this public forum and admit that they like everyone else will at some time in their own lives need some help and human understanding.



While it is as you have so wisely said impossible for me to offer you any predictions which are going to be other than empty words which will only create false hope and make it that much more painful for you when or if they do not come true in the predicted time frame, I can at the very least pass on any insights which I receive on your behalf which I may feel are not going to further discourage you from continuing to do all that you reasonably can in order to find that special man in your life, but that at the same time will be realistic in what they are promising you. To my way of looking at and thinking about love and life, false hope is never better than having no hope at all. It is effectively much worse when things do not work out?

Your reading is telling me that while there is always the possibility that you will meet him within the next six months or so, that the needless feelings of guilt which you are carrying around with you for perceived past failures of yours would only prevent you from feeling worthy of the love he has to offer you. Now there is the usual advice which I offer as part of my readings for you to get clearer in your own mind as to what personal qualities you are looking for in your prospective partner as well as those things you are unwilling to accept. Write them down on paper as two separate lists if it helps you to make the decision any easier for you. Then visit the places where you would most expect to find the type of man best described by your two lists.

My feelings at this point are probably not what you want to hear, but it seems important to my credibility and conscience as a reader in future, that I remain honest to my inner guidance or instincts at all times. Sadly I do not believe that your instincts are serving you faithfully here when you are feeling that such a relationship is imminent. I sense that this is more the result of wishful thinking and a heart which is calling out for release in it's state of loneliness and inability to share the love you feel in your heart with another. This is probably one of our most urgent spiritual needs - to be loved and respected for whom we already are, instead of the other person wanting to change us into someone whom we are definitely not.

But if we cannot ourselves accept or believe that we are just as lovable and worthy of being loved as the next person is, why should we then be surprised or disappointed when no partner is forthcoming? According to your reading, this largely unconscious feeling that you are simply not good enough and that because of some perceived rather than actual past failures of yours in the past that you now deserve to be punished endlessly for your "sins" is at the source of many of your present difficulties in finding someone to love.

Please if you will not do it for your own sake do it instead for the man who is patiently waiting for you to admit that we all make mistakes now and then, and that you are no different from any of the rest of us. Being human we are also by definition fallible. We need to give ourselves the permission to make our mistakes and to take responsibility for the consequences of our conscious decisions. Most which is of lasting value to us in this life is learned only through trial and error (mostly error).

Life and close human relationships were never intended to be easy or without their many challenges for us, but we should not be our own worst enemies by unintentionally making it harder on ourselves than it already is. The path to true love is often a bumpy one, but all your difficulties will never be in vain. It is only when we are being most challenged that we often discover strengths within ourselves which we were previously unaware of, let alone having used them.

While it is always easier for a person like myself who is more outside of or whom is not as emotionally involved with your life situation as well as the outcome of this reading to tell you that things are likely to eventually get better in finding your soul mate (as you are the one who has to go through this), this reading suggests that there is a strong likelihood that if only you are both able and willing to slowly but surely cast off the chains of totally unwarranted guilt with which you have imprisoned your own heart, then from there on your path to finding love and happiness will be one of much greater hope, for Hope.

What an appropriate screen name you have my dear, said the wolf.  

With courage, faith and determination as your constant and ever loyal traveling companions closely by your side, as well as the love and support of your many friends on these MB forums, your reading is looking more positive with regards to finding true love and lasting happiness, with every passing second.

Be kinder to yourself and be more your own best friend,

eye_of_tiger

Thank you SO much for your response. it is all very true - but made for very difficult reading as i had to consciously accept those truths.

I honestly don't know how to shed this guilt.I feel as thought i have tried hard to- but i guess it is on a subconcious level that i can't shift.Without sounding too vicmtising- i really cant continue as i am- feeling as thought i am making a concerted effort to re buidling my self esteem and seeing nothing tangibly change in my life (i.e still mistreated by men/friends or more friends betraying me and/or just not meeting any men at all). I feel i hAve worked hard to be A decent person- the kind of person people would be grateful to have as a friend and girflirend- but am treated the total opposite.

I don't know how to change this reality.sorry to trouble you further - but was wondering if you have any suggestions?I dont know how to bring about real change in my life and am tired of the same circumstances i have seen for years.I have changed my life recently- am emabrking on volunteer work, joining book clubs etc - to do things that are more fulfilling and give my life more meaning. also hope that this will change the sort of people i have in my life.

my concern thought is that I just am scared that if i feel i have worked hard to recgonise my shortcomings- and nothing is coming of it, then i have a lifetime of lonliness ahead of me- despite trying.i feel like i would prefer to stop trying and just allow that i cant change my subcoscious- rather than try so hard and see things worsen/not change(as has been true for so long).im sorry if this sounds really victimising- and as thought noone else suffers- i just dont know what to do....

Dear Hope,

You are very welcome for the reading, but I already recognised that it would be extremely difficult for you to accept the uncomfortable truths contained within it when it was doing it on your behalf.

Nobody least of all me should ever try to fool you into believing that freeing yourself of all this accumulated guilt is going to be an easy process, but the alternative to you not giving it your best shot is simply too terrible and depressing for me to even begin to describing in any detail on this public forum. If I actually had an enemy, I would never wish this upon him or her, let alone for a good friend such as yourself.

We each as individuals are constantly forced by our own life circumstances to accept the fact that while there are many things we can practically do to change our future for the better, there are many more things which will forever be outside our control to change.

This general approach to life is I feel well explained by the following prayer...........



So what I am basically saying here is that you cannot make another person love you, and there are many factors which will continue to work against you in the future, many of which are in turn outside your ability to change or control.

It is always easier to say than to do, but try to stop worrying about things you can’t affect and allowing those worries to get in the way of positively affecting things you CAN affect? No longer be willing to be a passive victim or outside observer of your own life to live as you best see fit to do so.

There are no extra bonus points to be awarded for you making yourself into a martyr or your life's victim, and although it probably appears very insensitive to your ongoing suffering and feelings of loneliness for me to have to tell you this on a public forum such as this one, I feel that some tough love from yours truly is just what your inner doctor has prescribed for your particular malady.

Sometimes in order to more fully express the love and respect we feel in our hearts for those people whom we are most trying to help, we (readers and non readers alike) need to appear cruel on the surface by confronting them with the critical decision which we all need to make at some times in our lives if we are to live instead of only barely surviving the slings and arrows of life's unavoidable misfortunes.

Love, Light and never forget that there are many people on these forums who care deeply about what is happening in your life, but who at the same time do not wish to interfere in what is obviously not their role or business to, unless of course you decide to ask for their assistance and support in freeing yourself forever of playing life's victim.

eye_of_tiger

So the long and short of it it this is just my life- how it was intended and i can just continue as i am am trying and suffering or leave it and suffer more? last night i acutally admitted to myself that i am/feel worthless. I have never said it out loud to myself or consciously recognised it.
Since doing so - i have just given up to be honest and reading your post confirmed it. I have tried hard for 12 years. Nothing has given, and i guess never will. I dont have the energy anymore (litreally and metaphoricall). so will take yuor advice, i will take one day at a time, there is no other option.

I appreciate that there are kind people on this forum,that i can call my friends. Outside of here- there is no such thing and evidentally noone that wants me (a realtionship). this as you can imagine is bleak- especially to know what i suspected all along that it will never change is prety much true.
What kept me going was hope (ironically) that things would just suddenely change as there was nothing i beleived i had done to deserve the pain. Now realising that yes there is othing i have done that is deserving of how feel - however nothing will ever change my circumstances is quite bleak. It really had made me question the point of everything, the future etc.I am tired. I know you say dont life's victim/a martyr to my own circumstances - but you must understand on a logical level that i am only human and with such bleak cirucumstances presented to me (and no means or way of changing this) - i dont know if i have the strength for the future. I am sorry - i am not asking a question, im not even sure why i am writing this and articulating what is in my head. I just dont know what to do anymore