Can anyone tell me what will be of my love life? In perticular, marriage. How do you tell if one will marry, or already is married, to the one they are supposed to be?

Am I destined to be in this marriage? Or is something telling me to get out?  What is my outcome in regards to whether or not I stay or leave? How will this decision affect children and family?

I would appreciate any help one can offer!! Thanks!

Hi Cali4nia,  

How can anyone tell if a person who has never been married and is not presently in a relationship will marry in future?

Beats me! I know of no way to determine whether or not married life would agree with that particular individual. Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your point of view) we do not enter our lifetimes tagged or marked in any way as to whether we will eventually decide to marry anybody. But since you are I believe yourself already married, this question is no longer as relevant as it might have been if you were not.

You appear to believe that some people in this life are destined to get married, no matter what happens to them in the meantime or no matter what else they decide to do instead. Unless you are in a country where marriages are arranged beforehand, most people I know make a conscious decision to do so, instead of wondering endlessly as to whether God has chosen them to follow this path.

Can I therefore safely assume that you consciously decided to marry your present husband, and that your main reason for doing so at the time was because of the love you felt for one another, and your desire to share your remaining years on Earth loving and caring for that person as if he or she was a part of yourself? Unfortunately however our interests, needs and wants inevitably change as we live together with another person on a daily basis, and I sense that you feel that you and your spouse are now increasingly drifting further apart from one another in many different respects. Perhaps you or him (or both) are under a lot of stress due to financial or other marital difficulties of which there are rarely a shortage these days.

Or possibly you feel disillusioned that the spark of romance and passion that you felt for each other when you first met has gone out of the marriage. Or could it be that you are simply bored with daily routine and having to work to pay the endless bills? There could be potentially one or more of a host of different factors which are leading you to believe that your initial choice of a partner was not with the luxury of hindsight the best one you could have made at the time. No, once again, even if you are already married, people do not go around with signs that tell you or them that they are in the right marriage (whatever a right marriage is) or that the marriage they are in is necessarily over.

Of course if you decide that your marriage is no longer worth saving, and that you should instead move on then this is going to have a large negative impact on everyone concerned, including any children. How could it possibly not have such a devastating effect? But then what you need to carefully weigh up is whether staying indefinitely in a relationship which is only effectively a marriage in name might possibly have even more terrible negative effects on people's feelings than if the partners had chosen to go their own separate ways.

When it comes to any children, would staying in an unhappy marriage and burdening them with the guilt in knowing that their parents are only staying together not out of love but out of a sense of duty be any better or worse than if they were no longer living under the same roof, but they had equal access rights to see their kids? Again that very much depends on the personalities of the adults and children. Some of them can weather a storm longer than others. Some would rather their parents stayed together no matter what, while other children would rather that they separate, but do so in a friendly and co-operative manner where each is willing to give and take.

So getting back to your original question (finally), neither a reading or any other method is going to tell you whether in the end you should either work upon your marriage, or alternately cut your losses and separate, with the children effectively living in two different homes, according to a roster.  Depending on the number and ages of your children, and your reasons for wanting to review whether you should stay together or go your own separate ways, I feel that as many people as possible should be given some input into making the final decision.

In other words, I as your reader am unwilling to accept the huge amount of responsibility involved with having to make this decision on your behalf. While we must state according to international law that our readings given on this forum are for entertainment purposes only, I take my responsibility of offering advice about a marriage very seriously. I would not want to want on one hand to prematurely tell someone that their marriage is not worth saving. Nor would I want to tell them to stay married even if they are terribly unhappy or in physical danger, merely because I said that the cards or God was telling me that this was their destiny.

There are I feel no right or wrong marriages. Even the best of marriages is not made in heaven. If you believe that you could live with another person for up to 60 years and never have any conflicts or differences of opinion, you are trying to fool either yourself or the other person, or you are living on the wrong planet. Marriage is I feel definitely not for you if you truly believe such highly romanticised and unrealistic nonsense. Decide with your partner and children (depending on their ages and levels of maturity) whether you are all willing to do whatever it takes to heal your marriage and family (possibly with professional help if required)

OR

Decide between you what other options are available.

Loving regards,

eye_of_tiger    

Thank you EOT for responding to my post.

I respect your boundries, and after re-reading my post, completely understand and agree with what you have written.

I guess, at times, I feel so desperate to make the right decisions, and inevitably take the route without any confrontations. My original intention was to know if God is telling me to stay or leave. I know he has answered, but I cannot read it clearly. I've begged for a more "black and white" answer, but I am still not getting it! I thought a reading would clarify.

I didn't even think of your position when I posted that, as for that I apologize.

Thank you for your time again!

Dear Cali4nia,  

You are very welcome for the reading, and since I already fully understand your reasons for wanting a definite YES or NO, there is accordingly no need to apologise.

Unfortunately many readings throw up more questions than they do definitive answers. In most cases even God himself cannot interfere in our lives to live as we best see fit, and very little of our future I believe is predestined or set in stone. We have each been given the divine right of free will to decide for ourselves what is in our own best interests, as well as those of people whom we love. There was nothing in your reading that absolutely said that your current spouse is either the right or wrong one for you. Only you in the end can decide whether or not your partner's positive qualities outweigh the more negative ones, and how much and for how long you are willing to accept his behaviour towards you.

Regards,

eye_of_tiger