Hi Doe,
After I got to around page 12 of your previous postings of a total of 85 pages, I gave up on determining when your last reading was given, and to say that you are an active member on these forums is to me a bit of an understatement. You are therefore more than eligible to receive another reading now.
As you were evidently given a Tarot reading on that occasion, I decided that this time I would give you a less structured intuitive reading where I would just open up to whatever messages come through with regard to your spiritual and psychic development (as they are not exactly the same as one another), and specifically as to your overall life purpose. I do not want to be the bringer of bad news, but life is often a series of "What am I supposed to be doing?" phases. That important question can only usually be answered through the experiences of several lifetimes, although it can often be broken down into smaller more manageable steps which may indeed be accomplished during a single lifetime. I do not believe that there is any point in going back to past lives if you are looking for repeated patterns as if they are repeated until we do something positive to change them for the better then they are also happening now as we speak.
I am more interested and involved with helping you as best I can in the only life you have to live now to recognise what self defeating patterns you may have unconsciously developed. I sense in your case that the spiritual experiences you have had were only intended as a wake up call, and were not necessarily signs or omens that you are or have done anything wrong, but rather that misinterpreting such things in this negative manner has been a big part of the problem all along. Effectively for reasons only known to yourself you have either chosen not to listen to your own instincts in the past, or alternately have learned not to trust them.
This could possibly be a product of your upbringing, or perhaps the pressures which society and religion places on individuals who listen to their own inner guidance in preference to an authority figure. Because of the stigma often associated with the use of psychic abilities or even the belief that you have these, many highly intuitive people like yourself feel increasingly isolated from your family and friends because you cannot discuss with them the very things which are of greatest importance to you.
It is as if you are being forced to live a double life or assume two separate identities. One for the sake of your own family and friends does NOT think and talk about such sensitive matters, while your alternate identity seeks to be part of a community or group of spiritual seekers who are like yourself looking for the answers to the biggest questions in life - such as WHO AM I?, WHERE HAVE I COME FROM?, WHAT IS MY PURPOSE AND REASON FOR BEING HERE? and WHERE WILL I GO TO ONCE THIS IS OVER AND MY TIME ON EARTH IS FINALLY UP?
So the clues you are looking for concerning repetitive patterns in your life that have also been self defeating rather than being actual mistakes are much easier for an outside observer to see than they are for you. Some of your most valuable lessons will be learned from your mistakes, so if you believe that making mistakes is inexcusable and will not give yourself permission to do so, then effectively you are almost paralysed. The past is a very nice place to visit, but you cannot live there indefinitely. Take what positive lessons you can from your past with the intention to strengthen your desire to do even better in the future.
Whatever you did or did not do in the past (earlier in this lifetime or during one or more past lives) will not have any negative effect on what happens in the future unless you allow it to by affecting the decisions you make in the present moment. You are continuously creating and remoulding your personal future now by making these conscious decisions, so decide that whatever happened in the past every day offers you new challenges and exciting opportunities to show everyone including yourself just how much progress you have made since then in improving matters. By constantly focussing on your mistakes and conveniently ignoring your many victories you are unintentionally increasing the chances that you will the same mistakes repeat them over and over.
What we tend to focus on the most attracts more of the same into our lives. While we need to remember that to be fallible is human use what positive lessons you have learned as a result of your mistakes, instead of simply continuing to recycle them endlessly in your mind and beating yourself up for not having anticipated them. In other words we are all meant to learn from our own mistakes, and not to avoid making them at all.
Any type of life worth living involves taking risks and yes making mistakes, so be kinder to yourself and you should then find that life is nowhere as difficult as you first made it out to be. This principle can be applied just as much to your psychic development as it can to any other area of your life in general. If you wish to avoid making mistakes, you will never achieve anything of significance to you either in this current lifetime, or during any future incarnation, and your purpose for being here which is to work gradually through a series of lessons which have been carefully tailored for you, and which can only easily be learnt in a physical world and body such as the one you are currently inhabiting, you will never feel fully satisfied and you will never recognise your full potential as both a spiritual and human being.
This in my opinion would be such a pity and a great loss to us all, after you have already come so far and made such positive progress towards achieving all you set out to do when you first entered this cycle of Earthly lifetimes. So near to making the grade, but in a definite manner still with so far yet to go and so much to do? You are walking or following the best possible path for you to take at this time of your life. Be more in the present moment, and while you must make your plans for the future, remain flexible and sensitive to your own changing needs.
Loving regards,
eye_of_tiger
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